Page 32 of Pretty Little Thing

How long was he standing there? How long was he watching me… waiting to see if I’d break?

I glance over his wide shoulders at the observers. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I say.

“Don’t look at them,” he says, calmly. “Look at me.”

“Clive—”

“Look at me.”

I force my eyes upward to connect with his.

“These people will not judge you,” he says. “No one thinks less of you for being inexperienced. They’re not here to make you think less of yourself… and neither am I.” He slides a single finger along the edge of my cheek. “You can leave if you choose to, Ms. Payne, but if you want to learn, I’m here to teach. You can trust me.”

My teeth chatter in my mouth, rocked by adrenaline, and I say the first thing that pops into my head.

“I want to stay.”

Clive nods. “Then, turn around… and place your palms back on the cross.”

I turn, slowly breathing as I do as he says. I raise my arms and put them back where they were before.

“May I touch you?” he asks behind me.

I nod, my neck jerking back. “Yes.”

“I’m going to remove your jacket, is that okay?”

I bite my lip. “Yes.”

“You can lower your hands,” he says as he slides his fingers over my shoulders, “but put them right back as soon as your jacket is off.”

I tremble as his hands glide down my arms, slowly drawing my jacket down to my wrists. I obey his words, instantly putting my hands back on the cross when I’m able to. My fingers touch the metal fasteners hanging down, meant for ropes and locks and other things, I imagine.

“I won’t restrain you,” he says, noticing everything. “Not this time.”

“This time?” I ask, my lips twitching.

He doesn’t answer or acknowledge the question. Instead, he lays a flogger down on the cross in front of me. “I’m going to use this on you,” he says. “It’s made for beginners. You can touch it.”

I take my right hand and run my fingers through the long strings. They’re thick and made of suede. Light, fluffy… nothing to be scared of.

“It won’t hurt unless I want it to,” he says, taking it from me. “But your body might react as if it does, at first.”

Another giggle shakes my chest. “You gonna give me a safe word?”

“If you want one.”

“I do.”

“Okay.” He dangles the flogger along my back, tickling me with a dozen tapping strings. “If I go too far, say wait. If you want to stop, say stop.”

“Simple.” I chuckle. “And if I want more?”

“Say my name.”

I flinch, not expecting his mouth to be so close to my ear. He steps back and I take a sharp inhale to calm my racing pulse.

“Keep your hands up,” he says a few feet behind me. “Don’t move out of place and don’t forget to breathe.”

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