Page 38 of Big Knot Energy (Shadowverse)

Issa

Why the hell was I so embarrassed talking to Amir about this? He’d tasted me. He’d been inside me.

Yet admitting that I had zero game without liquid courage or that I hadn’t known my alphas wanted me here, not only permanently but romantically, was kind of humiliating.

But not like I’d been able to go out there and date, to flirt and tease and find another beta or an alpha to call mine.

Nope. Just like my sister and brothers, my life, my future had been planned out for me from fairly early on. And I was absolutely positive my fathers and my mother were aware Antonio abused me, that he kept me drugged so I wouldn’t fight him when he wanted to use my body for his own satisfaction.

I hadn’t seen my beta packmate, Carlos, since shortly after our bonding ceremony. I had no idea whether he was dead or alive, whether he’d found another pack of people he actually cared for, orwhether he’d done what I’d always wished I could and turn my back on my family and carve out a life of my own.

Yet…I had that very choice now and was doing nothing short of existing. It took damned near arm twisting from my alphas to get me to leave the house.

It had only been a few nights since Ax had more or less told me the three of them wanted me on a deeper level. And none of them had done anything more than hold my hand or wrap an arm around my shoulders.

Were they really waiting for me to make the first move? Did they expect me to just…what? … jump at them like a flying squirrel and wrap my legs around their waist? Because it would take a whole lot of booze before that would happen.

Or at least a modicum of self-esteem.

Even before I’d gotten tipsy at The Vault, being around Amir had been easy. But, since he was an omega, I didn’t feel as though he was a threat. I’d never met a single omega who’d abused another person, who would demand anything from me, who would hurt me for their own sick pleasure.

I still couldn’t believe my alphas – it was still hard to admit they were mine, even to myself – had believed I wasn’t interested in sex or a sexual relationship with them. They weren’t naïve enough to think they weren’t the physical embodiment of masculine perfection. And while they were alphas, they’d never made me nervous or uncomfortable. I knew they would never do a thing to hurt me, not intentionally.

Those three alphas watch you like you hung the damn moon.

That was a bit of an exaggeration. And not only because I was merely a beta. They cared about me; I knew that. And just because they were sexually attracted to me and wanted me to officially be their beta didn’t mean they were in love with me or anything of that sort.

The bigger question was would I even know how that looked or felt? Would I have a clue how it felt to be loved by an alpha? Would I know how it looked for an alpha to gaze at me with nothing short of affection and awe in their eyes?

“Okay. Let’s go with some easier, less squirm inducing questions. Why haven’t you made this room your own?”

“I told you. I really did think this was a temporary situation. I’d thought they were simply being nice and letting me stay here because of my sister and her pack and all that.”

“That’s the only thing holding you back?” Amir asked.

My shoulders rose and fell. “Well, that and the fact I don’t have a job yet and have zero money.”

He waved my words off as though swatting at a bug. “If those three are like every other alpha in my life, they’ll jump at the first chance to spend money on you.”

My eyes darted to my closet of their own will. The first day I’d woken here, I’d found them circling the kitchen table with laptops open in front of them, ordering clothes and toiletries and necessities along with some luxuries like makeup and skincare products. Honestly, though, even the clothing could be considered luxury being as they’d made sure almost every single thing in the closet or drawers had higher end labels on them.

It was my turn to wave off Amir’s words. “That’s just frivolous spending. Why would I ask them to buy me stuff for the bedroom when I have what I need?”

“Oh, girl,” he said, reaching forward and taking my hand, giving me a faux sympathetic look. “I am so going to teach you the ways of the omega. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll have those three crawling behind you on their hands and knees, begging for your attention.”

A giggle tore from my chest at the imagery.

Then his words hit home. “Wait. What do you mean by the time you’re done with me?”

He moved closer until we were touching. “I saw the woman behind the walls you’ve built around yourself, the fortress you’ve built to protect yourself. You’re a queen, Issa. And I can’t wait to see how you rule your kingdom. I will do anything and everything it takes to help you come out of your shell, to help you see what the rest of us see when we look at you.”

My mouth opened then closed. I wasn’t sure what I was trying to say or what I was even thinking at the moment.

I was a queen? I was a fucking beta. There weren’t packs out there vying for my place in their pack.

The only reason Antonio had wanted me was because of my parents, because of my fathers’ business, their power and wealth.

Amir was an omega. I was supposed to be chasing him. The alphas were supposed to be chasing him.

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