Page 56 of Resisting the Grump

“You could’ve told me a million times.”

She had me there.

“You’re the cat guy?”

“What? No. I mean, I have a cat, but—”

She started shaking her head and backing towards her front door. “You’ve known I lived here since our first date.”

“I know, but it was too soon to say anything then. What if you were crazy? Or clingy?”

“Or sensitive to being lied to?!”

I should’ve brought a shovel.

She squinted at me like I was a stranger. “You opened my mail.”

“That was an honest mistake.”

“And then you Mrs. Doubtfired me!”

“Hold on a second.” I squared up to her. “I did not Mrs. Doubtfire you. That was an elaborate and calculating stunt designed to deceive. This was just a harmless omission.”

“You pretended to be someone you’re not and let me complain about you to you!”

“When you put it that way—”

“And you then you kept the secret so you could sleep with me!”

“If you’ll recall, I wanted to sleep with you way before we had secrets.”

“We didn’t have secrets, Oliver. You’re the dishonest one here.”

“Fine. You want honesty? I’m wishing I ate that cupcake right now and kept my mouth shut.”

She gasped and clutched her chest.

“Would that be better? Enlighten me. Because I admit I haven’t exactly been looking forward to telling you I’m the guy who deliberately put a bookcase together at eleven p.m. just to piss you off.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I was horny and cranky.”

She scoffed.

“I never meant to lie to you, but—”

“You can’t help that you’re an asshole?”

“I wanted to tell you.”

She searched my eyes but looked away when hers started to water.

I took a few steps towards the door.

“You should have told me the second we got off the elevator on this floor.”

“You mean the day I found out you use a secret alias to buy lube?”

---