Page 25 of Resisting the Grump

That was saying a lot considering he’d been famously refusing to do that his whole life. God knows how many customers he lost over the years as a result of his principles, but it seemed to have worked in his favor. The louder his disappointed customers complained, the more beef aficionados walked through his doors. “How’d the meeting go with your publisher?” I asked. “Besides the fact that he subjected your seasoned palate to a subpar salad bar.”

“Fantastic,” he said, forgetting his rant. “They’re finally going to publish my cookbook.”

“That’s great news.”

“Seems the only reason it took so long was because my pitch wasn’t right.”

“In what way?” I asked, leaning back on the couch.

“Well, we thought my name would be enough to sell it, but it wasn’t. We needed an angle. Or a ‘niche,’ as he called it. Don’t know why I didn’t realize it sooner, but it’s just like a restaurant. You can’t market it to everybody,” he explained. “You have to know exactly what sort of customer you’re cooking for.”

“So who’s the book for?”

“Home cooks who aren’t too afraid or broke to cook with fancy ingredients.”

That’s niche alright. “So you didn’t have to cut the lobster chapter?”

“Are you kidding? The lobster chapter is what’s going to sell the book. I just did a whole shoot yesterday in my striped apron with the most glistening lobster you’ve ever seen. Even cooked it up for the guys on set. The cameraman called me a genius.”

I laughed. “I’m glad it went well.”

“Just thought I’d mention it because I know you’ve been frustrated with the gigs Mac’s been lining up for you. Might try tweaking your pitch to see if it helps you get through to him.”

“That’s not a bad idea, Dad. I’ll give it some thought.” But I’d already determined my failure to communicate what I wanted was the reason Mac and I weren’t on the same page. Unfortunately, it’s hard to ask for what you want when you aren’t entirely sure what that is. So it was no wonder he couldn’t give me an easy layup. If I wanted to change the trajectory of my career, I had to envision it before I could voice it.

“Any other news?” he asked. “How’s the new place?”

“The new place is alright,” I said, looking around. I’d finally put my books on the bookcase I bought for the long living room wall and installed a handcrafted wooden headboard in the bedroom. The only thing left to do was finish hanging my pictures, and I was only putting that off because I was reticent to run out of excuses to bang nails into the wall. “My neighbor could use an attitude adjustment, but otherwise I’m settling in fine.”

“Is it a personality clash or—?”

“Hard to say. The neighbors I’ve met are nice, but the woman next door is holding a grudge for some reason. She probably just needs to get laid, but I can’t say I’m surprised she can’t find anyone who’s up to the job. I’m sure she’d be impossible to please.”

“Maybe you should get her a bottle of wine or something?”

“It’s a bit late for that.”

“It’s never too late for an apology, son.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You don’t have to be in the wrong to apologize. You just have to prefer peace to war.”

“Thanks for that, Plato. I’ll give it some thought.”

“I’ve fixed many a kerfuffle with a nice bottle of plonk.”

I’d like to give her a plonk, alright. “I have to go, Dad. I have dinner plans I can’t be late for.”

“Plans with a woman?”

I smiled. “Bye, Dad.”

F I F T E E N

- Avery -

The night already wasn’t going to plan. I was supposed to pull something out of my closet, love how I looked in it, and waltz out the door. Granted, that had never happened before, but I didn’t see why pulling all my clothes off their hangers and making a pile on the bed that would dwarf an Egyptian pyramid had to be part of my process.

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