Page 32 of Secondhand Secrets

Nor did I expect being left in his intellectual dust to be so arousing this time around.

His eyes narrowed as though he analyzed her reaction, his shrewd stare only deepening the wild flutter blooming low in her tummy. So, she did the one thing that would save her and stalked around him, only stopping when she reached her car.

“What about you?” His voice followed her before the man himself appeared at the passenger side door. “What would you be?”

She took her time tossing her bag through her door and onto to the backseat, umming as though she hadn’t considered her answer a million times before. “A drop of water in the ocean, I guess.”

“Water?” He slid into his seat, and she followed into hers behind the steering wheel, his focus holding while they buckled seatbelts.

“Yah know, so I could travel to lots of places?” She played at casual and started the engine, commencing the short drive toward his house, even though her nails dug into the steering’s leather, once again. At this rate, her car would soon be sporting claw marks. “Every time I made it to a river, I’d see different lands. That’s kind of cool, right?”

“Or you might just evaporate.” He sent forth his endearing smile, and she chuckled as she refocused on the road.

He probably figured he had her there, but she’d accounted for evaporation too. “Even better. I’d float to the sky and become a part of the clouds. For a while, I’d be closer to the stars before turning into rain and falling back to earth to start the adventure all over again.”

“Wow.” She didn’t look at him, but his voice had a breathy and bright edge. “Miss Egan can science.”

Laughter burst from her, and she caught him chuckling back.

“But seriously, is Harlow really so bad these days?”

His long silence signaled a genuine desire for an answer. So, she stifled a frown at the sight of his driveway and gave him what he wanted. “No, and that’s the problem. Nothing’s changed since you left. Nothing. Literally everyone I know and love is here, and my family is so great that separating myself from them, in any way, feels like betrayal. So, apart from a few short trips around Minnesota, I’ve never really been anywhere else.”

Despite the ache of offering that admission, she pulled into his driveway and set the handbrake, turning to get a full look at him. “What was it like, Chip? Yah know, leaving?”

He squinted against the glare through the windshield, his face otherwise lax and heartbreakingly still, as though he contemplated all that she’d said, along with his answer.

“It was tough.” He pressed his lips together and gave her a weak frown. “Everything was unfamiliar. The people in Boston had a completely different way of doing things. The pace was fast, and no one ever had time. I guess that’s the thing about Harlow. Home was always less about the location and more about the people, and that’s what I missed most.”

She tried to ignore the muscles bunching in her throat and offered him a joking sort of smile. “Did you miss me?”

His gaze didn’t leave her, and he didn’t blink, his face not at all mirroring her humor. “More than anyone.”

More silence took over, heavier than before while neither looked away, and her heart pounded hard against her ribcage.

What to say next? What to do?

She knew what she wanted to do, but they’d already decided against that, hadn’t they?

Though she could barely breathe, she focused on her hand resting on the center console and searched for more words. Words being the safer option.

“I missed you too.” Her voice cracked a little, and so she fought to distract from that small weakness by meeting his gaze, the depth of what she had to say growing with every second. “I guess that’s how I ended up latching on to Sarah. Every conversation with her returned little pieces of you. I wish I could have gone up to visit, but you just seemed so far away.”

“You could have called.” He held a pause that wrenched her heart. “You could have asked to swing by anytime. I would have found a way to get you to Boston.”

She shrugged and gave a tight laugh. “You coulda called too.”

But she understood that the years had a way of escaping. That imposing on another person, even just to say, “Hello” wasn’t always as simple as picking up the phone. “Anyway, I guess the years got away from me too, and I figured you’d moved on from everything to do with this little town. Can’t say I blame you.”

“Ally”—the heat of his hand caught hers, and she blinked down to where their palms met, his fingers now interlocked with hers—“you were always welcome.”

Her lips parted, but for the longest time, she couldn’t speak through the deep ache just begging for him to pull her close. She wanted to drown in the details of who he’d become. To lose the fear of what would happen if she did. As well as the fear of what would become of her when he inevitably left.

“It’s not fair.” That whisper crumbled past her lips, but his hand clasped hers a little tighter, like he understood. Like he wanted her to explain further. So, she scoffed and continued, “Up until a few days ago, you were just some kid from my past. Someone I learned to live without and merely thought on from time to time. And just as I’d come to figure I’d survive fine on my own, with my feet planted firmly on the ground, here you come along again, changed, and still a little the same. All too quick to turn my world upside down.”

“That was never my intention.”

“I know.”

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