Page 59 of The Shadow

Harvey flashes me a wink before making his way over toward the grill.

“Hey, Jules.” I walk over to where she’s standing. “How’s Chloe doing with being an older sister?”

“Oh, she loves it.” Juliette beams. “And she’s just been so amazing. She’s so cute, always trying to help us out any way she can. She’s with her dad today and she’s been texting us already, asking us how Finn’s doing.”

“That’s so amazing, I bet she’s having the time of her life doting on him. And things are finally back to how they should be with her dad?”

“For the most part, yeah. I think there are still some hurdles we’ll have to face but going to family therapy together has been life-changing. Including Chloe in that so she has a safe space to learn about addiction and how her dad will deal with that for the rest of his life has been great for her.”

“She’s always been wise beyond her years,” Alex says, taking a seat beside Juliette. “She actually scolded me the other night for how I was holding Archer. She showed me the proper technique to support his head while also allowing him to test his own neck strength.” He laughs. “She said, ‘Dad, just because you’re big and strong doesn’t mean you were born that way. He has to learn to build his strength just like you did,’ with that same serious look her mother gives me when I screw up.”

Watching Jules struggle for years after leaving Chloe’s dad, wondering if she made the right decision or not, was hard but knowing they’ve managed to build this beautiful family based on open communication and love and trust… it gives me hope.

“She calls you dad now?” My tone is almost weepy, Juliette looking over at me with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m usually dad two,” Alex says with a huge grin on his face. “And her bio dad is dad one of course. It’s been great.” He can’t stop smiling. “You need to get in on this.” He nods toward Harvey.

“On the conversation?” Harvey says, confused.

“No.” Alex laughs. “Marriage, love, kids. It’s wild, man. Never in a million years did I think I’d be discussing diaper brands and butt creams with strangers I meet but hell, I wouldn’t give this up for anything.” He plants a big kiss on Juliette, making her blush. I take the opportunity to glance over at Harvey who’s staring at me like see, we need to get on it. I feel my own face grow red so I shift my gaze away.

“What about you? How are you doing?” Jules asks, eyeing me with that same look everyone was staring at me with when everything finally came to a head. It was that sympathetic look, wondering if I’m about to break of how I can possibly handle this on my own.

“Good, I think. It’s just been crazy the last few months. And Harvey has been an amazing neighbor and friend and… I can’t thank him enough.” The look on my face isn’t lost on Jules. I see a knowing sparkle in her eye.

“Speaking of crazy,” Luka interrupts, a pair of tongs in his hands. “I still can’t get over that Connor Blake thing.” He looks around at the guys. “I think we all knew he was a sniveling motherfucker, but damn, to just disappear like that after the amount of charges the Feds brought him against him…”

Harper nods, holding her glass of wine. “Yeah, I heard they didn’t even get to go through with the divorce proceedings since the FBI showed up on his doorstep unexpectedly. Is that true?”

“Yeah.” I shrug.

“What happened at work when it came out? Was everyone surprised or did people on the inside know who he really was?” Blaire bounces Finn in her arms, attempting to calm down his restless stirring.

“Nobody knew the extent of things. I think they were most shocked about how he’d embezzled that much money and gotten away with it for so long. It certainly wasn’t a surprise to learn that he was a disgusting creep with women. More than a dozen former assistants of his came forward to file a class action lawsuit against him and the company for not protecting them.”

“Good for them,” Harper adds.

I’ve debated telling my friends all of the details, or at least more than they already know. Filling them in on the blackmail that was a result of my lack of judgment concerning getting involved with your boss wasn’t as embarrassing as I’d expected. Mostly because they helped me realize that I wasn’t the one to blame in that situation. I was manipulated and lied to. But as for the rest of it, I’m not sure I’m ready to dive back in and analyze everything that happened… and maybe I never will be.

Maybe the past should stay exactly where it is because spending years hiding from the memory of my father is one of my biggest regrets. He didn’t deserve my tears or my memories and neither does Connor Blake.

“He’s got better odds on the run than he does in prison, that’s for sure.” Jimmy laughs. “Based on some of the people who have been locked up because of ties with him, he wouldn’t make it through the night.”

“Does it scare you?” Blaire asks. “Him out there, not locked up?”

I exchange a knowing glance with Harvey. “Not really.” I shrug. “Like everyone’s saying, with the amount of charges hanging over his head, even if he ever dared to show his face again, he’d be locked up for the rest of his life.”

The reality is, though, if it wasn’t for Harvey, I would be terrified. It’s easy for people to look at a situation like this and assume that with charges stacked against him like this, there’s nowhere to run but until you’ve experienced the true fear and threats from someone as rich and powerful as he was, you’ll never understand. No one can understand the fear of just existing because someone else has made it their mission to destroy you.

“Such a relief,” Alex and Jules say almost in unison.

“The most important thing,” Harvey says from behind the grill, “is that you’re safe and happy.”

“Yes!” Harper shoots one hand out to clutch mine, Archer asleep in her other arm. “I wish we had known what you were going through but Harvey’s right.”

“And you do look like your old self,” Blaire adds. “I can’t tell you how much we love seeing you smiling again, with color in your cheeks.”

“Yeah, I think self-employment and happiness go well with me.” I smile.

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