Page 23 of The Shadow

I’m about to tell him because I think it was all a ruse, one big setup to get me into a position where he could use me in his divorce, but I catch myself. He exhales slowly, placing his glass down before crossing his arms over his broad chest to look at me.

“What aren’t you telling me, Aspen?” His gaze is serious, his stance powerful as he studies my face, waiting for me to answer. “You can trust me.”

Connor said those same words to me as he stroked my cheek. But this—this feels different. This feels sincere but there’s still a part of me that is screaming in the back of my brain, reminding me how I thought the same thing about him.

“I— He’s blackmailing me,” I blurt out and it feels unreal.

“Blackmailing you?” His eyes grow wide and his arms fall to his sides. “With what? To do what?”

My breath hitches and I turn to sit in a chair beside me. I try to calm myself but the shame is back. “He-he recorded us.” It’s so quiet he doesn’t hear me.

“He what?”

“He recorded us,” I say louder this time. “He recorded us having s—being intimate.” I struggle to get the words out. “He told me that he’d put it on the internet if I don’t help him hide financial assets in his divorce. He said everyone will think I’m a home-wrecker, sleeping with a married man. It would ruin my reputation and career so I agreed to do it—to help him.”

I couldn’t stop the words now if I wanted to.

They pour out like water tumbling over falls.

Harvey doesn’t speak. He turns his back to me, walking away from the window. His head is down, one hand pressed against the glass as he leans forward. It’s only when I look down at his other hand that I see it’s clenched into a fist so tight his knuckles are growing white.

“Fucking piece of shit,” he mutters, looking up at the ceiling before turning back toward me. “I knew he was an arrogant dick but I didn’t know he was a monster.”

His anger is palpable but his exterior remains calm, a skill I’m sure he developed as a soldier.

“I’m sorry.” The apology is a whispered, trembling mess. “I should have told you.”

“Hey.” He does that thing again, reaching out to cup my face. “Look at me. You don’t owe anyone an apology for this. He does. He’s the one who broke your trust. But I am promising you right now that I will deal with him—thoroughly.”

I shake my head, stepping back. “You can’t. This is why I was scared to say anything. Please, I can’t lose my job.” Panicked tears threaten to fall. “I have so much medical debt from my mom.”

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay. I have a job to do with this man and as much as I want to drive over to his house and drag him out by his dick before beating him within an inch of his life, I can’t. But that doesn’t mean I won’t when this is over. In the meantime, I’m going to make damn sure you won’t be on the hook for any financial fraud.”

“I’m such an idiot.” I hate that I’m pouting but finally, I can confide in someone about the shame and fear that’s been consuming me. “He used me. I should have known.” The tears fall now without hesitation. “I thought he meant it—the compliments about my potential and how smart I was…” I wipe away the tears, angry that I’m even shedding any.

“He doesn’t deserve your tears,” he says, dropping his hands from my face.

“They’re not for him.” I shake my head. “I’m just angry. Angry I believed him, angry I was stupid enough to fall for it. It was all just to promote me so that I would be at his disposal.” I laugh in embarrassment. “It’s pretty obvious a man like that wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?”

“You know what I mean. It’s just that Natalie is the type of woman he looks like he belongs with.”

“And you don’t?” Two lines settle between his eyes. “You think that men don’t look at you the way they look at Natalie?”

“No.”

“I just told you that I do.”

I feel my face flush. “Based on my experience, no, they don’t. And based on the two men I have dated.” I clear my throat and start to fidget nervously with my now empty wineglass. Harvey’s gaze is burning through me. “They were attractive. I mean, I was attracted to them. I just?—”

“Aspen.” His voice drops low again but I don’t look up.

“I don’t know why you are attracted to me,” I continue on nervously, “based on the other women I’ve seen you with. Not that I’m judging or it’s any of my business for that matter, but they’re all tall and”—I hold my hands out in front of my chest, gesturing—“you know.”

Oh God. Shut up! Shut up! I can’t stop the now unhinged confession that’s tumbling out of my mouth.

“It’s just that, I’m more of the girl next door type, you know?” I see his feet move toward me, my eyes still cast down. “I mean, maybe more like the weird nerd next door but I really enjoy expressing myself through my clothes”—his hand takes my glass from my fingers—“and shoes.” My voice begins to trail off when his hands are on me again, his fingertips nearly touching when he wraps both hands around my waist. “And um, fun colors…”

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