Page 37 of The Shadow

“Fuck!” I shout the word and it feels good. I do it again, making myself laugh at the ridiculous nature of the embarrassment I usually feel when using the word. A hang-up from my father that I’ve yet to let go.

There’s only one person I know who would have an immediate answer as to how I can use this against Connor, a clever one that would destroy him. But the day my father was arrested and everything came crashing down was the last day I ever spoke to him.

“I’ll miss you, bug.” He attempts a smile, the same one he always has when he calls me that. “Promise me something.” His face grows stern. “Promise me you’ll learn to trust again and you won’t hide away forever. He’s locked up for good; he’s not getting back out. You’re safe now.”

Anger burns in my chest. I thought the day my father went to prison for decades of hidden physical and emotional abuse against me and my mother I’d be set free, but here I am, seven years later with my back up against the wall.

Only this time, I don’t have Jaxson to save me. This time, I have to save myself.

I leap out of my chair and fly through my apartment, yanking open my door and running out into the hall. I pound my fist against Harvey’s door and seconds later it’s jerking open.

I hold out my hand toward him, the drive in my palm.

“What is it?” Confusion furrows his brow.

“The recording. The one Connor Blake is using to blackmail me.”

Chapter 14

Harvey

“You watched it?” My stomach drops, white-hot rage pulsing through my veins as I stare down at the drive.

“Yes. You need to see it.”

I step away from the door, trying to regain my composure. “What the fuck, Aspen? How long have you had this?”

“Since he first threatened me with it.”

“All this time? Did you just now watch it? How are you so calm right now?”

She moves past me. “Where’s your laptop?” She spots it sitting on my coffee table and walks over to pick it up.

“Wait, wait!” My hand darts out to still hers. “I can’t—I need a minute to process this.”

“It’s not—it’s not a recording of me.” She stumbles over her words that aren’t making sense. “There’s something I didn’t tell you about all of this when I thought it was a recording of me.” She glances away. “I didn’t remember it happening.”

“What the fuck are you saying right now?”

“I didn’t have a relationship with him, not really. He flirted with me and I liked it. I haven’t had many—I haven’t really been with a lot of guys. I was naive and trusted him. I thought he did like me and when he kissed me the first time?—”

She pauses when she looks at me, my face I’m sure a twisted mess of anger and disgust.

“I can handle it,” I reassure her and myself.

“I kissed him back. We only kissed a few times and he asked me out on a date. I wasn’t familiar with the place we went to, but I did notice that after only one glass of wine, I was already tipsy. I don’t drink a lot but this wasn’t a normal tipsy. This was bordering on drunk. It felt so strange and yet, he didn’t act like he noticed, like I was behaving any differently.”

“He drugged you?” She nods and I release her hand, stepping away. “What the fuck?” A sickening knot forms in my stomach at the thought that I have to face this man again and not put a bullet through his fucking head.

“I don’t know for sure but he had to have. I didn’t even finish my second glass of wine, I remember that. I also vaguely remember bits and pieces as we got home and he—undressed me.”

I want to pull her into my arms and tell her it’s over. That I’ll make sure nothing like this ever happens to her again, but that was the same promise I said to my mom, the same promise I wasn’t able to keep.

“That’s what flashed through my memory at Blaire and Jimmy’s. I started piecing things together and I remembered him saying something to me when he stood over me. Something about how he never wanted me.”

“So what’s on the drive, then?”

She reaches again for my laptop and plugs the drive into the USB port. She clicks twice, then turns the screen around to face me.

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