Page 35 of The Shadow

“He’s going through a divorce and wants to cover all his bases, I guess. You know these high-powered types.” He winks at her, planting a kiss on her cheek before standing to refill her water glass.

“Private security because of a divorce?” Jules looks around at the women. “How bad did you screw up that you think your spouse is going to off you?”

“Wouldn’t want to be him,” Luka adds with a laugh.

“I think the security is a red herring,” I add, staring down at a ladybug that’s crawling across the planks of the deck. “He’s doing it to make himself look like he’s the victim because when the truth comes about what he’s done, about who he really is, he’s going to need to put the blame on someone else, let them take the fall for it. And when people try to blame him, he’s going to point the finger at the other person, claiming they were crazy, stalking him. That they—” I stop when I realize everyone’s gone quiet and they’re staring at me.

“Or whatever.” I shrug. “Maybe I’ve seen too many thrillers lately.” I laugh, attempting to lighten the mood, and it works. Jules says something that Luka comments on and just like that, we’ve moved on to a different subject… everyone but Harvey, that is.

I can feel his eyes on me like they’re boring a hole, but I ignore them. I know I’ve said enough tonight that once we leave here, he’s going to have questions and he won’t stop until he gets answers.

My focus is on the group, trying to stay engaged, but my mind keeps going back to that night.

“You couldn’t possibly think I wanted you.”

The phrase sounds so familiar. I repeat it over and over in my head as I try to recall anything else he said to me that night. I remember lying on my bed, my eyes unable to stay open. Every time I would blink, I would try to hold my eyes open past two seconds, but it was impossible, like when you take a sleeping pill.

I felt my body being shifted, tugged, and pulled as items of clothing we’re removed and then, it went silent and that’s all I remember. When I woke the next morning, I stumbled out of bed, groggy and confused in only my bra and panties. My shoes were in two different rooms. My cardigan was by the front door, my skirt in the hallway like a couple who can’t keep their hands off each other after a date.

But that’s not what happened… I know I’m not crazy. I remember him taking my clothes off in my bed as I lay there limply.

“What do you think, Aspen?” I glance over at Harper who’s asking me something.

“Hmm?”

“About the Hamptons next summer?”

“Oh yeah, totally,” I agree enthusiastically, having zero clue what she’s talking about. “It’s beautiful up there.”

“That’s what I said and since Blaire’s family’s house sits empty pretty much empty most of the year…” Luka sticks his tongue out and nods his head. “Nice having a billionaire in the family.”

I glance back up to where Harvey’s been sitting but his chair is empty.

“I’m sorry, guys, but I think it’s time for us to head out.” Jules slowly stands up with the help of Alex.

“I’m ready for a nap,” Blaire yawns, stretching her arms overhead.

I say my goodbyes to everyone, glancing around, still trying to find Harvey, when he finally reappears around the corner of the house.

“Hey, I think everyone’s heading out,” I say, walking over to him.

“Okay.” He walks around me, tossing his empty cup into the trash. “Let’s go, then.” He pulls his keys from his pocket and I turn to follow him to his car.

“What’s going on?” I finally ask, breaking the silence that has hung between us the last few blocks. He looks over at me, then slowly turns his attention back to the road.

“I think you’ve got better answers than me.”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” He shakes his head, clearly frustrated. “What happened back there, Aspen? Something happened in that head of yours that took you someplace that you didn’t want to be.”

“I was just day?—”

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” he cuts me off abruptly, his tone icy. “I know I said I would give you time and I’m trying, but you’re holding back from me.” I recoil, the reaction on his face telling me he noticed it. “Fuck!” He hits the steering wheel.

I stare straight ahead, my hands in my lap, my shoulders square. We ride the rest of the way home in silence but once we exit the elevator to our hall, he reaches his hand out and grabs mine.

“Please tell me.” His eyes are pleading. “I can’t help you if I don’t know how.”

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