Page 79 of Savage

At least I’m wearing clothes this time.

“Do you need to rest?” Hunter asks. “Your bedroom is clean now, but the couch and my bed are available too.”

I shake my head, even though the offer of his bed is more than I’d expected. “I got enough rest at the hospital,” I say with a weak smile.

If I hadn’t cut up my hands so badly when I’d grabbed the glass from the mirror, I’d probably press my luck and try to talk him into letting me play more of the video game, but…

I pause for a moment, then I blurt out, “I still want you to be my master.”

Hunter looks at me in stunned silence. “What?”

I slowly get to my knees in front of him, pressing my face against his leg. “I…” I swallow hard. “I don’t trust myself,” I whisper. “You were… You were right not to trust me.”

“Stef…” Hunter’s breath hitches. “You were right not to trust me, too.”

Maybe. But I can tell he enjoys me like this. I kiss his bare foot, grateful that he’d removed his shoes and socks as soon as we’d stepped inside, and say, “Thank you for taking me in, Master. Thank you for saving me.”

I won’t say the other part. But this much feels right.

Hunter inhales sharply, and answers, “I promise to take care of you, Stef. I promise to make you strong.”

Even if it kills me, I can’t help but think. Because his methods damn near did that.

“I just…” I bury my face against his leg. “I don’t have anyone but you. I had… I had someone, but he sold me to Ntimacy when the drugs got too expensive.”

Hunter strokes my scalp gently. “I won’t sell you. I just… I can see that you’re a beautiful person, Stef. And I want you to shine.” He scoffs at himself. “I know my actions and words don’t reflect that.”

I close my eyes, simply enjoying the feel of his fingers running along my head. “I…” My voice wobbles, but I manage—somehow—to find the courage to say, “I just want… three things. Everything else is up to you. Everything. Can I ask for them?”

Three sounds like a lot when I’m putting it that way, and I cringe. He has no reason to give me anything, to accommodate me at all. But I bite my tongue instead of taking the words back. This might be the only time I’ll ever have the courage to ask.

“Tell me,” he says with enough sternness to sound like an order. His hand remains gentle on my head though, reminding me of the days we’d spent with me against his thigh, simply relaxing.

I take a moment to breathe, clutching at the fabric of his pants. “Please don’t sell me, or threaten to sell me,” I begin, almost choking on the words because it seems like a huge thing to ask. “If you want me to leave… I’ll go.” I don’t know what I’d do, or where I’d go, but I’d disappear from his life. “I’ll never tell anyone about this, or anything. I promise. That’s… that’s the most important one.”

I finally risk a glance up at him.

“All right,” Hunter says. “I promise not to sell you, or even threaten to sell you.”

I feel like I can breathe again. “I don’t… Please don’t let other people… use me.” That seems big, too, like something that’s impossible for him to agree to.

“I wouldn’t,” he answers sharply, making me flinch. “I don’t share. I…” Hunter sighs. “Chase and Drake wanted to see you, but I would never have let them touch you.”

Tears well up in my eyes. “I was so scared you would,” I say before burying my face against his leg again. “I don’t… I don’t ever want to be… I don’t want to be a whore again. I know it’s a lot to ask, but…” But it’s not like he needs the money, or the drugs. Unless he wants to pass me around to his friends, he doesn’t have to. “You will never touch another man again,” Hunter says vehemently. “I don’t share, and I’m jealous, and possessive. As you’ve already experienced.”

I nod. I know blowing those men in the bathroom had been my choice the last time—sort of—but I don’t want a repeat of that. Even for drugs. Even for anything.

“I know you’ll… need to punish me sometimes,” I go on quietly, meekly, “but I don’t think I can handle the… the solitude thing again. Where I couldn’t hear or see or anything. Your other punishments make me cry, but that’s okay because you like my tears… Right?” I look beseechingly up at him.

“I love your tears.” Hunter brushes his thumb underneath my eye.

I lean into the touch, wanting it, wanting more of it—needing more of it.

“But I can work with that.” He looks a little unsure before he continues, “I want to mold you into your best self. And that will be hard. You’ll have to trust me. But if there’s… if real issues crop up again, tell me and I’ll consider them. I can’t handle seeing you like that again.”

I don’t know that I can trust him, not really, but I don’t know if I could truly trust anyone at this point. Everyone I’ve trusted has left me, and that realization makes it all seem more solid, somehow. I can’t blame Alicia for the car accident, but I can’t deny that her death led to so many worse things.

“I was just so desperate,” I say, swallowing hard as the memories crash into me all over again. “Everything… Everything hurt, and I just wanted it to stop.”

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