Page 60 of Ruining Vanessa

Stupid. I’d been so stupid! I hadn’t thought about how my actions would affect anyone else.

“Eh, I already had my fun and games. Wouldn’t mind just a casual fuck while she cries a little,” Slayer says, and he sounds a little… awkward. I don’t understand it, but I don’t really care enough to try to analyze it as he guides me toward Giulio. He nudges me into Giulio’s lap and puts the blanket back around my shoulders, getting up and heading toward the cooler again.

Giulio brushes some of my hair behind my ear. “This is nice, isn’t it, Mama? A fun, romantic little cabin getaway.”

He wants me to play along. He wants me to pretend that I like him.

But I hate him so much. I hate him more than ever, so much so that I want to shriek and pull away and run away screaming from him. I want to hit him and kick him and bite him and demand that he bring Stef back. That he tell me he was just lying to fuck with me, and that was my real punishment. That he’d only do it if I messed up again.

Instead, I just sob, unable to get any words out. I know I need to try, because he’ll get mad at me if I don’t play along, but I feel like my entire world has just fallen apart and I don’t know how to put it back together again.

I feel broken in a way I’ve never felt before, and from here… Once I get pregnant, there’s nothing I can do. I can’t fight against them. I can’t argue with them. I can’t do anything wrong, or they’ll take the child from me.

I’m so thoroughly trapped, and Giulio wants me to pretend we’re on some romantic getaway, and all I want to do is scream.

Giulio places his hand on my neck to force my head closer. Our lips meet. Although Giulio starts slowly, it’s soon clear he expects me to open my mouth for him.

“All you had to do was go along with it,” Giulio murmurs. “We’ve forgiven each other now. The past is in the past. But…” He nips at my bottom lip, “…we can drag it out, if you prefer.”

No. I don’t prefer that.

Before I can respond, Slayer grumbles “For fuck’s sake, Jules, did you get any normal shit? Even the Italian sandwich has this weird red pepper paste on it. And the beers are all… Ugh.”

I hear his footsteps as he returns, but my attention is on Giulio. I don’t want to drag this out. I want it to be over with. I’m still crying, still trying to fight back my sobs, but I force myself to part my lips for Giulio so he can plunge his tongue into my mouth.

It’s a violation, just as it is every time he touches me, but I’m dizzy from the thought of all the things he can do to me without actually laying a hand on me.

15

DAMIEN

As soon as I open the condo door, Giulio shoves Vanessa into my arms.

“Here, you take care of her today,” he says, immediately turning to leave.

I glance down at Vanessa, dressed as if she was going hiking, then I glance back out to the hallway.

“Wait,” I shout, leaning out to the hall. “Giulio, we have meetings today. You’re supposed to—”

“Yeah, I know, I know! I’m going to see what’s-his-face. I’ll take Larry along. Don’t worry. You’ve got the day off.” Giulio stops at his apartment door and grins at me. “You can trust me! Enjoy Vanessa. Poor girl’s had an exciting few days.”

Then he goes into his condo and closes the door behind him.

I tighten my hold on Vanessa. I should go after him. I don’t trust him. He’ll be late, and he’ll deliberately antagonize somebody, and even though Larry is good, is he going to be able to stop Giulio from doing something dangerous?

Vanessa whimpers in my arms, and I turn my attention to her. I don’t see any obvious bruising, but she’s fully dressed for once. There’s no telling what Giulio did to her underneath the clothing.

Her eyes are also rimmed in red, like she’s been crying.

Fuck. What did Giulio do?

I close the door with one hand, then run my fingers through her hair. “Vanessa? What happened?”

Vanessa looks up at me, her expression miserable and bleak, then closes her eyes. She doesn’t pull away from me, but she tenses in my arms like she wants to. “He sold Stef,” she whispers.

I know that’s not all of it, but that’s clearly the part that’s bothering her the most.

“I know,” I answer quietly. I start leading her toward the living room. The basic layout of my condo is the same as Giulio’s, although I’ve gone for much more “homey” decor. No modern art or ugly statues, simply warm carpets and warm couches.

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