Page 57 of Ruining Vanessa

I’m not sure what I’m in the most shock from: running, the cutting, being fucked, or the fact that he’s treating me like this. I want to pull away, but his body is so warm. Even where his side is a little damp from where he’d helped me shower, it’s warm, and I can’t stop myself from pressing closer against him.

He unwraps the plastic around a sandwich, and I’m not sure if the smell of it makes me hungrier or want to throw up.

“It’s one of Giulio’s fancy things,” Slayer explains. “I don’t know. Turkey and… something. He had Italian ones, too, with pepperoni and salami and stuff, but I figured that might be a little too rough on your stomach.”

He’s probably right. The idea of the heavier meats makes me gag. I’m not even sure I can handle turkey, but when he presses the sandwich to my lips, I take a small bite. I’m suddenly ravenous, and I find myself having to fight against the urge to eat it as quickly as possible. I don’t want to make myself sick, but the food is just so good. Everything tastes amazing, and I wonder if it has something to do with the aftermath of what they just did to me.

Slayer patiently feeds me, and although the act of being hand fed makes shame flare up inside me, I don’t stop eating. I still can’t muster the strength to lift a single finger, but I’m desperately hungry.

As I get to the last bite, my eyes start to prickle with tears again.

“Hey. You want more?” Slayer asks gently. “You’ve had a rough day.”

I shake my head. I don’t want more food. I don’t know what I want. I should ask him to leave me alone, but once again, the thought of being alone and cold makes my stomach freeze up with dread.

He kisses my forehead and strokes my head lazily. “Tell me what you need.”

“I don’t know,” I manage to choke out.

He nods, setting the plastic wrap down on the table in front of us. “More to drink?”

I shake my head again. It’s so hard to talk, and honestly, I find myself wanting to bury my face against his chest and just cry. But I don’t want to find comfort from the man who made me feel this way to begin with.

Well. That’s not entirely true.

Slayer may have wielded the knife, but Giulio had been the mastermind behind all of this, and I know it.

I doubt Slayer would appreciate being thought of as a puppet, so I very carefully leave that thought unspoken. Instead, I just give in to the inevitable. I rest my cheek against his warm chest, and his hand comes down to lightly run down my back.

“Here,” he says, turning me gently in his lap so my side is pressed against his front. It’s a little awkward; I’m not small, and while he’s a large guy, I’m still too tall for this to be a picturesque example of a man delicately holding a woman. He pulls the blanket up over me so it’s around my shoulders as well, and he closes his eyes. “Just get some rest.”

For a moment, everything is silent but for the crackling of the fire.

Then I can’t help it. “Why are you being so nice to me?” I blurt out, my words shaky, almost whiny.

Slayer lets out a quiet huff of laughter. “I don’t fucking know. Can’t you just enjoy it?”

I shake my head. “I’m in some sort of like… serial killer’s hunting place. You just… cut me up, while Giulio…” I shudder.

Slayer goes quiet, and I glance up at him to see that his face has gone serious. “Most of what I hunt is wild game,” he says after a moment. “I have a freezer of venison and rabbit and stuff.” He hesitates, like he’s weighing his words. “But you’re right, in a way. That’s not all I hunt.”

I wait for him to continue, shuddering, but he doesn’t. I don’t really want to prompt him, but at the same time, I’m desperately curious to know what this is—what this is to him and Giulio together.

He finally sighs. “I guess there’s no harm in telling you now.” He pauses. “Well. It’ll scare the fuck out of you, probably.”

It probably will, but can it really be worse than it is now?

“Giulio owns the place. I don’t know if he’s had it for a long time or what, but this was his first major present for me.” Slayer scratches his jaw, looking almost sheepish. “He’s an ass, but he knows how to give gifts.”

“He knew you wanted a murder cabin,” I say, deadpan.

“This is coming out wrong.” Slayer tightens his hold on me. “He knew I was into blood, so he got a place for us to have fun with it and make some of his enemies disappear at the same time. But trust me, those guys all had it coming. You think Giulio’s bad…”

I stare at him. “I don’t think it’s coming out wrong. It’s just coming out bad, because it is bad.”

He makes a face at me. “The guys I torture are worse than Giulio. They’d do worse than set you up on some field trip through the woods and a little bit of cutting at the end. You really think he’s doing the absolute worst he could do to you?”

My face drains of color, because I realize he’s absolutely right. He could make things much worse for me. As terrible as all of this is, I’m not a complete idiot. I saw what he did to Stef to get back at me for disobeying Damien and trying to help. Her gang rape had been brutal, right up to the point of her passing out and even beyond that.

---