Page 45 of Whispers of the Water

“No, I didn’t sleep with Aidan. I didn’t do anything with her.”

Relief hit me so hard that I was forced to sit on the bed. All the grotesque emotions and images that had clouded my heart were for nothing, and while their absence was a massive weight off my chest, embarrassment took their place.

“Did you really think I’d sleep with someone else when you and I are—” Rune stopped, his features strained. I latched onto what he’d started to say and waited with eager ears. He looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “You and I are still fake dating. Did you really think I’d get involved with someone else?”

Fake dating. Right. I knew that’s what our relationship was, but it still felt like a slap to the face to hear him say it. Even more hurtful was how guilty I felt. I had assumed the worst about Rune, even though I knew he wasn’t like that. Rune enjoyed fooling around, but I’d never known him to cheat. I’d gotten hung up on his words, which definitely sounded bad without the rest of the context, and I hated that I’d gotten so worked up over it to the point where I’d snapped at him.

I wasn’t a stranger to being cheated on. My ex, Dax, cheated on me daily. Yet it had never hurt the way Rune’s possible infidelity did. It just went to show how much I loved this man.

Which only made me feel worse for doubting him.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice coming out thick. “I know you aren’t like that. It’s just everyone keeps saying I’m not good enough, and this gorgeous girl that you have a history with keeps getting thrown in my face as the one you should be with. So, after what happened between us this morning, when I heard you ask her if she wanted to have sex, I assumed the worst.”

“I get it,” Rune said as he leaned against the wall across from me. “If I had heard that without the rest of the story, I would’ve assumed the same thing, so I don’t blame you for getting upset at all. I want you to know that I’m not sleeping with or seeing anyone else. I haven’t slept with anyone since … well, since you came into the picture.”

My breath caught in my throat as I asked, “Why?”

“Because at first, I was too busy. We were hanging out every day, so there was never time. When we started getting serious about the fake dating plan, it felt wrong. Then when we started getting physical—” Rune stopped, and tension seeped back into his shoulders as he turned away from me. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

He fidgeted as though preparing to flee at a moment’s notice. He was suddenly on edge with me, and I knew it was because his mind was now back to what happened in the bathroom.

“Rune.” His name came out as an intimate whisper, which I hadn’t intended.

Rune’s eyes found mine, and a desperate, hungry emotion blazed to life as he watched me stand and walk closer. Longing seared in his gaze like a match to paper. It was heated and all-consuming, but something was trying to hold it back like a dam keeping the flood of emotion in check. His uncertainty and self-hate from what happened earlier, no doubt, prevented him from giving in.

Our bodies were only inches away now, and if I took a deep enough breath, our chests would touch. When I inhaled, his musky, cedar scent filled my senses, and it made my toes curl in the best way possible. It took everything in me not to lean into his intoxicating scent, his warmth, his touch.

Biting my lip against all the indecent thoughts now swarming my mind, I stared up at him. “Rune, about earlier—”

“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No, no,” I quickly stopped him, pressing the tips of my fingers to his lips. The contact made my heart sing, and I felt his breathing still. His burning eyes never wavered from mine. “Don’t you dare apologize. You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? Nothing.”

He glanced down at my fingers. I slowly slid them down his chin, along his throat, and onto his chest. His heart thumped wildly against my palm, and feeling how hard it raced over me was like an intoxicating drug that I didn’t mind being addicted to.

Finding my eyes again, he asked, “I didn’t pressure you or make you feel rushed into anything?”

Laughing at the ridiculous idea, I said, “Not even a little. I wanted to. I want to. I was the one who asked you to do those things because I wanted it. And not because I felt like I had to or because you were pressuring me. You aren’t pressuring or rushing me. Frankly, that’s impossible.”

He searched my imploring gaze for a few endless moments. When he saw the truth of my words there, he finally let out the breath he’d been holding, and it was like a weight instantly lifted from his shoulders. His head fell into the crook of my neck, and his strong arms wrapped me into a tight embrace.

“Thank God,” he laughed into my throat. “I’ve been a mess all day thinking that I’d forced you or pushed you into moving too quickly. I was so ashamed, I couldn’t even face you. It made me sick thinking I’d made you uncomfortable or made unwanted passes at you like some people have in the past.”

I knew which person he was referring to. Dax. On one occasion, Dax had grabbed me forcefully and tried to claim ownership of me, and on another, he’d kissed me while I was battered and broken. It had made me so angry then, and thinking back on those times, I just wanted to erase those bad memories.

I realized then that nothing Rune did ever made me feel that way. All I felt when he touched me was love, security, and happiness.

Pulling back to look at him, I cupped his cheeks. “Not even close. Being with you is a very real desire that’s coming from me, not pressure from you.”

“Promise me you’ll tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable.”

“I promise.”

“Promise me you’ll tell me if you’re ever not ready for something.”

A smile lifted the corners of my lips. I leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth. “I’m ready for everything as long as it’s with you.”

The floodgates opened, and the desire he’d been holding back finally rushed forward in a large wave. He reached for me, pulling me flush against him. The heat of his body permeated through my clothes and sank deep within my bones. He gripped the back of my neck with one hand and tilted my head, angling his mouth mere inches away from mine. His burning eyes met mine as he whispered against my lips, “Can I?”

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