Page 39 of Lani

The ride to the clinic is a gloomy one. While Vinny sits in the waiting room, Braelyn and I are going room to room to make sure the girls have the support they need.

This is the first time in their life they’ve ever been to the doctor, and Lynn had her baby at home, so she’s being checked thoroughly.

As the female doctor finishes examining Etta, the young girl grips my hand hard and I can see the sweat pouring off of her face.

It breaks my heart that she is so uncomfortable. The doctor covers her with a sheet and helps Etta sit up.

She sits down in her chair. “Everything looks okay. I don't see any kind of damage that time won’t heal. You need to heal from the last sexual assault, but I would like to see you again in six weeks so I can check you again, after you have time to heal.”

Braelyn had to leave because Lynn had a major panic attack once her examination started, so the doctor stopped and Braelyn is trying to calm her down before she goes back to see her.

Etta is so strong. I know it was hard for her, but this is something that had to be done. The doctor leaves and I stand outside of the curtain while Etta gets dressed.

“Lani? Can I ask you something?” Etta asks from behind the curtain.

“Anything.”

“Does sex always hurt? I never wanted it and I’m scared of it, but I thought the pain was normal. We were taught that women weren’t meant to feel pleasure and that it’s only meant for our husbands to keep him happy.”

She moves from behind the curtain and sits down in the chair beside me. “No, it doesn’t always hurt. The first time hurts usually, but then after that it doesn’t. Sex feels really great when you don't have a selfish partner.” I take her hand, “One day, if that’s your choice, a man will come along and you will experience something completely different. You’ll feel new, exciting, wonderful things.”

“Do you have that with my brother and Trey?”

I smile. “I do, they take very good care of me. A man can take care of you on so many levels. Physically, mentally, sexually and emotionally.”

She smiles. “I do hope that one day I have that, but right now I just want to be better mentally. I’m scared of men. I think I always will be like that, but one day I know in my heart that someone will come along and put those fears to rest.”

I hug her tightly. “You are so correct, you have your whole life ahead of you. You can do whatever you want to in life; you can be anything. The world is yours now.” She hugs me back, “I love you, Lani.”

“I love you too, sweet girl. I’m so excited to see how you’re going to take on the world.” I push her hair out of her face.

“Let’s go get your labs done. I think Trey is bringing Michaela for her checkup now.” We wanted to get all of the others almost finished so we can all concentrate on her.

I check on Vinny in the waiting room, and Trey walks in with Michaela, who is holding a stuffed animal under her arm. “Did you get a new toy, sweetheart?” I ask her, and she nods, smiling.

I lean up and kiss Trey. “You guys have fun?”

“We had the best time, didn’t we, angel?” He kisses the top of her head and Vinny makes his way to us and kisses me too.

“How are they?” Vinny asks. I can see the worry in his eyes.

“Etta did really well. Lynn, on the other hand, is struggling a bit more,” I tell him honestly. “Braelyn is with her. I stayed with Etta.”

Vinny looks heartbroken. He runs his hand over his beard. Trey puts his hand on his back and rubs it comfortingly.

Lynn comes out of her room a few minutes later. She looks like she’s been crying. She slips in another room to get labs.

Braelyn makes her way over to us. “She’s having a hard time with this. She’s been in survivor mode for so long and now she’s starting to feel the things she’s never allowed herself to feel. She has severe CPTSD. She doesn’t have any major damage, but I’m worried about the scarring in her heart and not her body,” Braelyn says sadly.

“Time is what will help them the most. You’re giving her the best chance at fighting this. They are survivors, they will overcome.” Braelyn leaves us and goes to check on the girls, and the doctor comes out and motions that she’s ready for Michaela.

I go to tell Lynn. “The doctor is ready for Michaela,” I tell her, and she jumps up, gently lifting her from Trey’s arms.

“Do you want me with you?” I ask her. She nods, her eyes pleading with me.

I follow her inside and smile to the guys as the door is shut. Lynn sets Michaela on the table. The doctor smiles at us and starts asking questions. “Are you okay with immunizations?”

Lynn nods. “That’s fine.”

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