Page 43 of Viral Affair

“It's fine. I can always pick up a few things there,” I said. “So, you were born in Gloucester then?”

“I lived on the outskirts of Gloucester. It’s a very small village. My mother and I moved there when I was about eleven… We should stop in the supermarket so you could get everything you need for later,” she suggested.

"Don't worry about me. We should head straight to the hospital so you can figure out how your mum is doing while I get us somewhere to stay for the night,” I said.

“You’re right. Mum has only a one-bed flat and it’s probably a mess,” she said despondently.

I asked her for the name of the village and then I called my assistant to searched for some good hotels on Airbnb. I wasn’t entirely sure how long we were going to stay, but Matthews had enough cover for this week. After working for a while in the club, I suspected Veronica was able to take a few days off. Then, maybe later this week, the deal with the brand would come through so she wouldn’t have to work in the club at all. It was going to be a win-win for me.

I told myself to ease off a little. We went out for one official date, and here I was, ready to set her up with a new life. This was nuts, but when I couldn’t control the situation, I felt like I was failing. I’m the one who’s nuts…

“We will find something there. I’ve got everything under control, sunshine,” I assured her, although I felt anxious and worried the moment she mentioned going to the hospital.

In the past, I’d gone through several panic attacks when I was near any hospital or clinic, and that was before I’d even walked through the door of one. Veronica had no idea—but although this was a huge trigger for me, I didn’t want to add to her stress because she was worried enough about her mother already.

At some point, Veronica drifted off. She must have been exhausted while I was telling myself to stay calm. Only my family and closest friends knew about my hate for hospitals. I usually kept my emotions boiled up until I hit the gym. Working out was my way of pushing through my past traumas. Today was going to be challenging because there was no way for me to do this, but I had to move past my issues. Veronica needed me, and I didn’t want to disappoint her.

It took us just over two hours to drive to Gloucester. When I pulled up outside the main hospital entrance and my stomach tightened with unease. Still, I was ready to take another step. Luckily, the breath work had helped, and I was no longer in panic mode, which was huge progress.

“What’s happening?” she asked while she rubbed her eyes, looking through the window.

“We have arrived at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital. Come on, let’s get inside so we can find out what is going on with your mum,” I told her.

We both got out of the car. Despite it being summer, it was colder today, and the dark, heavy clouds hung above us. I’d lived in London most of my life, and somehow, I’d never been in this part of the country. It was surprisingly calmer than I’d imagined.

“You really don’t have to go with me, and I suspect you probably don’t like hospitals,” Veronica said, placing her hand on my arm when we started walking.

For some reason, her unexpected touch felt reassuring and instantly made me calmer about this whole situation. The gripping anxiety I’d felt earlier, the worries and frustration, disappeared. Veronica’s energy was unmatchable.

“This isn't about me, sunshine. I’ll go wherever you go. We’re talking about your mother here, and I’d never leave you alone,” I said after I’d cleared my throat. There was no way I could let her go inside on her own.

She nodded towards me, so I took her hand, and we headed towards the entrance. If Veronica minded me holding her hand, then she didn’t say anything. My heartbeat was steady for a change, and I knew that with her I could walk inside without any issues.

As we entered, I instinctively tightened my grip around her hand. Beads of sweat tingled my brow as my heartbeat quickened, an immediate response to the sight of the sickly figures surrounding us, and the unmistakable scent that hung in the air—metallic, with a subtle sweetness, permeating every breath I took. Suddenly, being in that space, seeing doctors and nurses around, brought all the memories from the past back. I told myself to breathe through my nose as we continued walking. I had to be strong for Veronica.

“Let me find out where they’re keeping her,” Veronica said.

I nodded, although I didn’t want her to leave me alone. She approached the reception desk, and I stood there, overcome by panic once more. Sweat dripped down my back, and my hands trembled as I couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen into my lungs. I kept seeing flashbacks from my childhood, the pain and the needles. I didn’t know how long I stood there, thinking that I might lose my mind, until eventually Veronica came back.

“She’s in cardiology. That’s all they could tell me,” she explained.

I nodded, forcing a tight smile.

“Are you sure you are okay, Rupert?”Veronica queried me, looking worried.

“No, I’m not okay. I’m sorry but I can’t seem to move,” I confessed, hating that I was so weak. Breathing didn’t come easy.

Then, Veronica took a step closer and placed her hands on both sides of my face, then brought her forehead to mine.

“Breathe. I know this must be difficult for you, but trust me on this, just breathe through this panic right with me. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere,” she reassured me.

I closed my eyes and focused on steadying my breath and being present right in this moment. It took a long while, but finally my heart rate slowly went back to normal, and the gripping panic faded. I relaxed my muscles one by one, then opened my eyes and stared at her beautiful face. Did she have freckles? It was hard to tell because she always wore makeup, but I could see a few on her nose. Veronica’s eyes were closed for a few more seconds, so I took this opportunity to really look at her while the people around us probably noticed this intimate exchange between us. I fed on her healing energy that radiated through me. Then the voices, the flashbacks, all went away within seconds, and I felt like I could function again. It was a fucking miracle.

“And? How was that?”she quizzed me, giving a subtle, gentle smile.

She pulled back, and I smiled at her. If anyone noticed us, we didn’t say anything.

“It helped. Thank you, sunshine. I feel much more in control now. I should have told you that visiting a hospital would trigger me, but I thought that today I could do it because of you,” I admitted, but it was the truth because I’d just faced my biggest fear right with her.

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