Page 53 of Hitting the Gap

Shame clenched in her gut, making her even more aware of her body. “Sorry, that wasn’t my intention at all. I’m just…” She looked up at the ceiling as she tried to figure out how to explain herself. Screw it. Maybe Rayne was right and she did have a lot of stuck emotion that needed to be moved. She sure as hell had a pit in her stomach at the moment and it seemed to be swirling like a vortex because the more she thought about her body image, the more emotional she felt. “I hate my body. I’ve never liked it, but after my last relationship I…I don’t know, I’m kind of ashamed of it.”

Rayne’s eyes softened, and she smiled in a way that made Bailey think maybe she understood. Although how that was possible, she didn’t know.

“Oh Bailey, I understand that feeling more than you could ever know.” Rayne’s mouth clicked. After a couple of seconds, she finally spoke. “I had an eating disorder in high school.”

“What?” Bailey’s eyes widened as she looked at the other woman. Rayne looked like the picture-perfect female body.

“I spent most of 11th grade in treatment. It was pretty bad. So I may look different than you do, but I’m very well aware of body image issues, shame and all the other feelings we can have about who we are or aren’t, as the case may be. That’s why I do this kind of work and why I’m so confident in saying emotion and energy get stuck and need to be worked through.”

“Wow, umm, I don’t really know what to say,” Bailey said.

“The only reason I shared that with you is because I thought it might help. I get it, Bailey, and I really think I can help you. But I need you to trust me just a little. Can you do that?”

Could she? If it would help her flush through all the damage Brad had caused, she’d be willing to do just about anything. “I can try.”

“Good.” Rayne stood up. “I’ll let you get undressed. Underwear on or off, it’s up to you whatever you’re most comfortable with. I’ll get you to lie on your stomach with your face in the cradle and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Bailey watched as Rayne left the room. The second the door closed, she hopped up and started quickly undressing. She had no idea how long Rayne would give her to undress and the last thing she wanted was for Rayne to open the door when she was standing there in nothing but her panties. It was one thing to be practically naked on the table. It was a whole other thing to be caught trying to awkwardly peel off a sweaty pair of leggings with your bare boobs hanging out.

She quickly folded up her clothes in a neat pile, then jumped onto the table on her belly. She awkwardly shimmied the sheet up to cover as much of her bare back as she could. After a couple of seconds, she shifted to get more comfortable, then shifted again as she tried to relax.

“Grr,” she groaned. God, she hated that she’d let Brad change how she felt about herself. Fuck you, Brad. No more. She exhaled all the breath in her lungs and her body let out a little sigh as it melted into the table a bit. A light knock sounded on the door. “Yes,” Bailey called out. A second later, the door snicked open.

“I’m just going to put on some music and we’ll get started,” Rayne told her.

Here goes nothing.

Chapter 12

Gonzo sat down at their gate and pulled his earbuds out of his carry-on bag. As he flipped through his playlist, someone stopped near him. His gaze traveled up to the giant form in front of him. He knew it was Brandon Sims before his eyes even hit the guy’s face. Very few people took up as much space as this guy did. Gonzo popped out one earbud. “Hey man, you ready to hit the windy city?”

“You bet. What about you?”

He rolled his shoulders. He’d be a lot better once they were in Chicago. Soaring through the air in a giant tin can wasn’t natural. But there was no way in hell he was admitting to his teammate that even after all the flying they did, he still hated to fly. No weakness. “I’m definitely ready to kick Chicago’s Ass.” He held up his hand and Brandon smacked it as expected.

“So how’s Bailey doing?” Brandon asked.

Gonzo leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked up at the other man. “She’s fine.”

“Good, I’m glad she’s feeling better.”

“What do you mean, feeling better?”

Brandon rocked back on his heels and held up his hands. “Whoa, fuck. I’m just making sure she’s okay after this morning.”

“When did you see Bailey?”

“Geez dude, for someone who’s just friends with the girl, you sure have the whole possessive thing going.” Brandon laughed. “Relax man, I’m not after your girl.”

“She’s not my girl,” Gonzo grumbled.

“Could have fooled me,” Brandon muttered under his breath.

“Why were you with Bailey this morning?”

“We both were at Rayne’s for yoga. Bailey hadn’t eaten, so the heat and everything affected her more than normal.”

“What do you mean, it affected her?”

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