Page 34 of Hitting the Gap

It had taken a lot of work to get to the point where she could say that. And then she’d let Brad take it all away. “Fucking Brad,” she muttered. Before all the shit with him, she was feeling comfortable about her body. She’d done years of therapy. Hell, she’d spent her entire career discussing the perception of women in a patriarchal society. She had a freaking doctorate in the subject, so why the hell was she allowing some man’s perception of her to make her feel small? She gripped the edge of the counter and took a deep breath.

No.

Then another breath.

No.

And another.

No.

Not happening. She exhaled audibly. She was a strong, confident woman. She looked in the mirror and pinned herself with a stare. “I am beautiful exactly as I am,” she whispered to her reflection. “I will not let anyone else’s perception of me change how I feel about myself.”

She took another deep breath. Feeling more calm and centered, she looked at herself one last time.

The therapy had certainly helped, but it hadn’t curbed that instant feeling of self-doubt that jumped to the front of the line the second she felt someone judge her appearance. Guess she needed to find a therapist here in town because clearly she had some shit to work through still. This healing business was hard.

Bailey took one last look at herself in the mirror and squared her shoulders. The words of her therapist bounced in her head. No one could make her feel anything she didn’t allow.

Feeling more in control, she turned on her heel and marched back out into the hallway to join the others.

“You okay?” Peyton asked.

“I’m good.”

“Good.” Peyton smiled. “I love your nails. Where’d you get them done?”

Bailey glanced down at her hand. “No where, I just did them at home.”

“Seriously? You do this yourself?” Peyton snatched up her hand. “Kendall, look at these.” She tilted Bailey’s hand toward the other woman.

Kendall grabbed her hand and ran her finger along Bailey’s index nail. “Wow, where’d you learn to do this?”

“YouTube.”

Kia snorted. “You did not learn to do nails like that from YouTube.”

“Honestly, that’s how I learned.”

“No.” Kia shook her head. “I mean sure you might have learned some ideas from YouTube, but you did not get that kind of skill from watching a couple of videos. You have a freakin’ Hawks jersey on your nails. That’s insane.”

Bailey glanced at her nails. “What can I say? I have time on my hands at the moment.”

“No, girl, that’s wild. From one artist to another. Those are cool.”

“Can you do mine?” Kendall asked.

“Umm, I guess, I mean I’ve never really painted anybody else’s nails besides my family.” Well, besides Gonzo’s, but she didn’t think he’d appreciate her telling them that.

“You seriously learned that from just painting your own nails?”

“Well, with the amount I messed up playing around, I wouldn’t put anyone else through that unless they loved me.” Bailey laughed.

“I am more than happy to be a guinea pig to the cause.” Kendall wiggled her perfectly manicured hands in front of Bailey.

Bailey wrinkled her nose. “You clearly get those done professionally. I don’t know…”

“I do. I want Pete’s jersey on my nails.” A slow smile spread across her face. “Mmm. Yep, I definitely need those.”

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