Page 17 of Hitting the Gap

Gonzo’s face softened in sympathy. “There is absolutely nothing disgusting about you.”

“You’ve never seen me naked,” she muttered.

“I don’t need to see you naked to know you’re beautiful, Bay. He’s a fucking idiot and a piece of shit if he blamed you for him cheating.”

“He’s not wrong about me putting on weight the past year. You even said I’d let myself go.”

“Whoa.” He reared back and held up his hands. “That is definitely not what I said.”

“It’s what you meant,” she muttered.

“That is absolutely not what I meant.” He grabbed the front of her T-shirt and pulled it away from her body. “I meant you were going in public with this freaking pepperoni stain on your shirt. That has nothing to do with the body underneath. Don’t put words in my mouth, Bay.” He looked her in the eye and didn’t look away. “And don’t compare me to your piece of shit ex.”

“Sorry.” She broke their eye contact.

“Him cheating on you says more about what a douche he is than anything about you.”

“Maybe.”

“No, not maybe. If he wasn’t happy, he could have broken up with you. He didn’t have to cheat.”

“I guess.”

“There’s no guessing about it, Bay. He’s a fucking grown up. He made a choice. It’s not like she slipped and fell on his dick. He fucked someone else. That’s not on you, that’s on him. I don’t care if you put on a hundred pounds. That’s not a reason to cheat.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “He can’t help it if he doesn’t find me attractive anymore.” The way Brad had talked about her body was cruel, but it hurt more because it was what she’d already been thinking about herself. It was like he’d been inside her head and said every mean, hateful thing she’d thought.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Gonzo’s voice rose in annoyance. “If he didn’t find you attractive anymore, then he should have broken up with you. Not fucked someone else. He could have talked to you, not fucked around.”

“He talked to me about my weight. I just…” Tears welled in her eyes again, the effort to hold them in made the back of her throat burn.

“You just what?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just felt shittier about myself and—” she sighed.

“So when you say he talked to you about your weight, what did he say?”

Bailey’s cheeks grew hot. God, they were probably bright red. How was she supposed to admit to Gonzo that she hated the woman she’d allowed herself to become when she’d been with Brad? Before him, she never would have allowed a man to speak to her the way he had. Just thinking about it made her feel sick.

“What did that asshole say?” Gonzo growled.

She could practically feel the anger radiating off of Gonzo in her defense.

“I don’t know the usual stuff guys say about a woman.” She flapped her hand. “How I shouldn’t wear something because I can’t pull it off, talking about what I ate, that kind of thing.”

God, this was so humiliating to admit. She claimed to be an expert about the misogyny of the patriarchy and when push came to shove, she fell victim to it just like everyone else and allowed a man to make her feel like shit about herself for months. “It was more the look on his face and—” She clamped her lips together to keep them from quivering as she fought back this wave of anger and tears. “Lately, he never wanted to touch me because—” She looked up at the sky. “Ugh, do we have to keep doing this? I disgusted him. He cheated. End of story.” Pissed off, she angrily rubbed her hands against her face to wipe her eyes.

“I want to fucking kill him,” Gonzo muttered.

“What? Why?” Bailey blinked back at him. Why did he sound so angry?

“Are you serious?” He gaped at her. “Bailey, listen to me and I need you to hear this. There is not a goddamn thing wrong with you. You’re a fucking knock out. You always have been. A couple pounds doesn’t change that.”

She chewed her bottom lip and dropped her eyes. He crouched down so they were eye to eye. “Brad is a piece of shit. That’s 100% on him, not you. Got it?”

Bailey could feel him staring at her. Knowing Gonzo, he wasn't going to move until she answered. Peeking up, she met his eyes and sucked in a breath at the intensity of his stare. Finally she nodded.

“Good. Now let’s go eat.”

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