Page 62 of Casanova LLC

I grazed my pelvis and decided I’d come back to it. Do it last, just before getting out.

Mitigate the possibility of reactivation.

I closed my eyes. The water rushed over my face.

Images, like flash cards, rushed after:

What I’d seen when I’d first pulled her panties to the side.

Her inner knees pressed against the outsides of mine.

Her pink tip popping out as she arched her back in climax.

The pulsing clench of her private flesh around my finger.

I was hard again.

I slammed off the water, grabbed a towel, and wiped off. I walked out of the bathroom and sat down on the side of my bed. I tried thinking about the gas bill again. Why was it so fucking high? Winter, fine, but half the palazzo had been unoccupied while I’d been in New York. Did we have a leak?

Still hard.

I laid down. I ran my hand through my hair and realized I hadn’t rinsed the shampoo out. Fuck’s sake.

I stomped to the bathroom and yanked the shower on again.

I stepped in and rinsed my hair.

I turned off the shower, stepped out, grabbed my towel. Again.

I wiped down. Again.

I’d never washed my groin. Jesus.

I threw the towel. Jumped back into the shower. Turned on the water, grabbed the soap, and briskly went about my business with as much sensuality as an industrial dishwasher.

I got out.

I grabbed my towel.

I patted off.

I sat down.

My knobby, ruddy head stared up at me in defiance.

For the record, I wasn’t against jacking off. Like, on principle. When I was a teenager, I’d lived for it. I’d do it before dates, especially, and it took the pressure off. But I couldn’t remember the last time I needed to do that. Or wanted to, for that matter. I either came with guests or I didn’t. It wouldn’t occur to me, even if I had a night off. Why would it? Why would I pleasure myself?

I heard Claire’s voice in my head, from the ball: Do you even get turned on anymore? What do you, Alessandro, like? What do you fantasize about?

Her.

Which was the motherfucking issue.

What do you want, Alessandro?

Fuck it.

I made the water a little warmer this time. I took the soap and lathered up. A lot. This was the right thing to do. I had to regain control. Tomorrow, if I wanted to last longer than three seconds, I had to do this. I had to get her out of my system.