Page 91 of Until

“Hi, I’m Thomas Stirling, and this is my last will and testament. Spoiler alert--if you’re watching this, then I’m already dead.”

A laugh escapes Carina who quickly covers her mouth as her eyes widen with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“It’s alright. He would’ve loved that someone laughed at his joke,” Alex says.

“Let’s see here,” Thomas says. “If I know my boys, you’re both here, unmarried but successful businessmen. Both of you.” He shares a knowing grin before crossing his legs. “My old pals Harold, Abe, Levi, and the rest of you rich assholes.” He waves his hand dismissively, and the trustees chuckle. “And Reggie, you old goat. I always knew you’d outlive me.”

I turn to Reggie, surprised to hear Father mention him. Reggie nods in my direction but nothing more.

“So there’s no confusion,” Thomas says. “I arranged for a monthly stipend from the estate to continue paying Reggie until his death. I asked that he keep tabs on you, Alex because I wasn’t always the bastard you think I am.”

Alex hangs his head down, and Carina places her hand on his shoulder. He closes his hand over hers briefly before pulling away.

For a flash, I’m jealous, but it’s over just as quickly as it started. Carina loves me. That’s all that matters.

“But Alex, yes, I was a bastard to you for many years. And it wasn’t right,” Thomas says, his voice losing its humorous tone. “I’m going to say something to you I should’ve said years ago. Something my father never said to me.” He pauses and clears his throat. “I’m sorry for how I treated you. There’s no excuse for it. I was always very proud of you.”

Thomas takes a long breath, then rubs his chin, before cracking the knuckles on his left hand.

“Don’t be me,” he says. “If either of you get married and have children one day, be a better father than I was to you. I know that’ll be an easy task, I wasn’t great. It’s no excuse, but it’s easy to become your parent, even if you hate them. Looking back, I see it now. There’s a reason you never met that sonofabitch who was your grandfather. The last thing I wanted was to be like him, but that’s exactly what I ended up doing.”

He leans forward in his chair, runs his fingers through his stiff grey hair, and then rests his elbows on his knees, just like Alex is sitting.

“My boys,” he says, then starts shaking his head. “It’s always amazed me how brilliant you both are but stupid at the same time. My father said the same thing to me about myself in his own will, but I wasn’t old enough then to appreciate it. He might’ve just been having the last word, though.”

He leans back in his chair and looks directly at the camera.

“Alex, when my father died, his will stated I would not receive any portion of his inheritance. I know you know the feeling that comes with that.”

Alex nods his head.

“What I failed to explain is something neither of you knew before. It wasn’t a secret, but it was something that I never cared to talk about, so I didn’t. As you know, our family home is a huge stone mansion, the same one you grew up in.

“Neither of you ever questioned why a plumber lived in such an extravagant home. Maybe you thought everyone had their own castle.” He laughs. “You know the home was passed down generation after generation. What you didn’t know is that my father didn’t leave me anything when he died either. Eventually, I got the house, but it was in such poor shape that it didn’t amount to much. It was probably worth more torn down, but I couldn’t do that either.”

“I digress, though. My father disowned me so I would make my own way and choose what I wanted to do. So I wouldn’t choose what was easiest for me. And that’s what I’m hoping I did for you, Alex.

“I have no doubt in my mind that you are a successful businessman right now, Alex. And while some might say I’m narcissistic, you do owe your success to me.

“You wouldn’t be where you are right now if you hadn’t lost everything. Just like I wouldn’t have grown a successful plumbing business. I know you didn’t want to be a plumber. That’s why I pushed you away. I knew if I didn’t, you would continue doing a job you didn’t care about. I might’ve gone about it the wrong way, but I wanted you to be happy.”

Thomas clears his throat and then crosses his legs again.

“But I know I owe you an apology for more than just that. I was a shit to you. You both lost your mother, and all I could think about was how I lost the love of my life. I hope you never forget how special she was. She had such a spark.” He turns away from the camera and wipes at his face before clearing his throat again. “I would look at you boys, and each and every time, all I saw was her. Especially you, Alex. Whenever I saw you, I felt like my heart was breaking from her death all over again.”

He sighs and is quiet.

“Your mother would’ve never forgiven me for how I treated you. She would have left me if she was alive to see me keep the two of you apart. But I had my reasons. I had to cut your ties after my death so both of you could achieve the level I saw in you. So while you, Alex, needed that push out of the nest, you, Ryan, needed that countdown for you to get anything done because you throw yourself into your day-to-day and don’t make room for anything else.”

Thomas shakes his head and then laughs.

“There’s so much out there for you to enjoy, boys. Including love.” He smiles wistfully, and his body seems to relax as he closes his eyes. A smile slowly spreads across his lips. “I lost my best friend so many years ago. I’m looking forward to seeing her again. Assuming we both end up in the same place.”

He laughs but then is lost in his thoughts.

“I really miss her, you know. I’m sure you do, too. And yes, seeing her blue eyes looking back at me from your face, Alex, was torture at times, but it’s no excuse for my behavior.”

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