Page 43 of Until

“Because your mother isn’t someone you need in your life. And I say that as her mother.”

“So what happened that night? The night of the accident,” I ask.

Grandma sighs. “So first of all, that wasn’t your father she was with. She was never really sure who your father was. She met Eddie when you were around two years old and moved him in with us.”

“So Eddie isn’t my dad’s name?”

“No. Not as far as we know.” She took another bite of her soup before continuing. “Your mom, Sarah, and Eddie hadn’t been home in weeks. It was something that was happening more and more often. She was never connected to you, so even when she was there, I was the one who took care of you. This time, they were gone longer than usual, but if I’m being honest, I was hoping they wouldn’t come back. I thought it would be better for you and me if it was just the two of us.”

I nod. “Go on.”

“The police called me because they had an accident and were rushed to the hospital. They hit another car. That car… the passengers…” Her eyes well up with tears. “The accident killed them. Sarah and Eddie were fine. Not a scratch on them.” She shakes her head and wipes at a tear. “They were both sentenced to do time, and I told Sarah not to come back until she straightened herself out and could be a mom to you.”

For a moment, I’m hopeful that that’s why Mom has returned.

“Do you think that’s why she’s back?” I ask. “So she can finally be a mom to me?”

“You’re an adult, dear. You don’t need a mom. She missed all of that. Why is she here now? I suspect she thinks she can get something out of us. She’s a narcissist, Carina. And she’s a con artist. She’ll do anything to get what she wants. You’ll see her soon enough, and she will seem great. She’ll say all the right things, but trust me. Once she gets what she wants, she’ll be out of your life.”

“Maybe she’s changed, Grandma. We should give her a chance.”

“No, Carina. People don’t change. A leopard doesn’t change its spots. She is who she is, and I’m sad that I messed up enough to create that. Remember when I said you need to protect yourself? Do that. Especially when it comes to her.”

I look down at my feet, disappointment filling me. I always glorified the mother-daughter relationship. I always dreamed of what it would’ve been like to have my mom around. I’d imagine the cookies we’d bake, watching movies together, her teaching me how to do my makeup, and wiping my tears from my first heartache.

I look at the woman resting in bed, sipping her soup, and smile. She did all of those things with me, and because of that, I need to trust her judgment and believe her.

“Okay, Grandma. I promise I’ll protect myself.”

“Good,” she says, with a quick flash of a smile. “Now tell me about that man of yours, the masked one, not the one you spend all your time with.”

“I don’t spend all my time with Alex. And he is paying for all of this, you know. You could be a little nicer to him.”

“Odessa told me he’s a hottie. Have him visit, and I’ll be extra nice to him. You know I love seeing a good-looking man.”

“Maybe it’s best if you don’t get any visitors.” I laugh.

“So tell me what’s going on with Ryan.”

“Well, I thought Ryan and I hit it off those two nights we met at the ball, but he hasn’t called me yet.”

“Are you saying this because it’s your job to make him fall in love with you or because you actually want him to call?”

“Can you forget for a minute that I agreed to do this? I told you how much I like him. I feel like there’s something between us, something really good. Something…” I shake my head. “I just can’t explain it, but I feel a spark whenever I see him. A good spark.”

Grandma sighs.

“So now you have a leak?” I say as I move the tray holding the empty soup bowl away from her.

“You get that smart mouth from me.” She smirks. “How you’re not like me is what I suppose I gave to your mother. You’re sweet, Carina. You’re honest and genuine. You’re not made to do things like this.”

“Are you saying my mother is?”

“Yes. No.” She sighs again. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I ever really knew her. I gave birth to her, and she went on her own path.”

“What about when I was born?”

She smiles wistfully. “I hadn’t heard from her in years, since she graduated high school, and then she showed up at the apartment with her little pregnant belly. I thought things had changed, and maybe they had, but she hadn’t. A couple of months after you were born, she started disappearing again. I never knew where she went or if she’d come back home. Then, one day, she brought home Eddie like some people bring in stray cats.”

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