Page 76 of Until

“Home. My home. So we can talk. And then, if you don’t want to see me again after that, I’ll bring you home, and that’ll be it.”

“But I don’t want that,” I blurt out.

“Then what do you want?” he asks.

“The truth,” I said. “From both of us. I need to explain.”

“Okay,” he says. “Then let’s go.”

We get into his car, and I can feel myself vibrating from anxiety.

“Okay,” I say. I unwrap my arms, then gently begin cracking my knuckles nervously. My breathing is shallow, and my shoulders are raised from tension. I try taking a deep breath, but that’s nearly impossible.

He places his hand gently over mine and locks his gaze with my eyes.

“Breathe,” he says calmly.

I nod and close my eyes briefly, focusing on my breathing until everything feels normal again.

“I know what it looks like,” I say, “but what you said back there last week is true for me, too. Everything I said has been true. Everything I feel for you is true.”

He lets out a long breath.

“I know. I spoke to your fairy godfather,” he says. “I should’ve known this was too good to be true. I should’ve known we couldn’t just randomly meet by accident.”

“Then why take me away from that mess that day?” I ask, jerking my thumb back.

“I don’t know. I just went with my gut.”

“I’ve been feeling terrible about it. You have to believe me. I’m glad you spoke to Alex, but just let me tell my side, please.”

“Okay,” he says.

“I was working at John’s as a waitress, like I have for the last five years, when I got fired. On my way home, a man pulled up in a limo and offered to give me $20,000 to take care of my grandmother and support myself, and all I needed to do was to attend a masquerade ball and dance with a man in a green mask.”

“Continue,” Ryan says as he maneuvers the car onto the road.

“Alex seemed pleased and offered to take care of my grandmother for the rest of her life as long as I was willing to spend the next six months in a relationship with you, and then ending things when I was sure you were in love with me. I didn’t want to do it, but my grandmother took a turn for the worse. That night, she had a stroke followed by a heart attack. They weren’t even sure if she would survive. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. I needed to do what I could to support her.”

“Did he tell you why he wanted you to do this?”

“No, I asked once, and he said I didn’t need to know. I didn’t ask again because I really didn’t want to know. Not getting to know you would’ve made this much easier. He never told me you’re his brother or why he wanted me to break your heart. I always thought I’d find a way out without having to hurt you. Or me.” I hesitate before continuing, then take a deep breath. “From that moment when we met, I felt a spark from you that I had never felt before in my life. Part of why I agreed to this was just to be close to you.”

“I felt the same way when we met,” he says. “You’re that spark for me too.”

He smiles and holds his hand out. I put my hand on top of his before he wraps his fingers around mine.

“Did you break up with me because Alex told you to? That was all part of this?”

No, I broke up with you because you deserve better than me,” I say softly, then cast my eyes down. “I realized I had fallen for you, and I knew I couldn’t hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt you. You have to believe me.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “I believe you.”

“Can I ask you something? You and Alex have different last names,” I say. “Why?”

He smiles. “Alex’s last name, Winterbourne, was our mother’s maiden name. I guess he felt so hurt by our father that he didn’t want to carry the Stirling name anymore. Can’t say I blame him. Our father was very cruel to him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

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