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I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me over the phone. The nod was a lie though. Even as I told myself I was okay, my throat tightened and my heart ached. Tears threatened to fall again, but I blinked them back.

“I hated how we ended things. I hated lying to him. And I hate how anytime I go on a date, I compare it to sitting in a hotel room with pints of Ben and Jerry’s.”

“I think that’s normal. He was your first love.”

“He was my only love. I still love him, Noelle.”

“Then send him a friend request. Message him, something.”

“No. Look at him. He’s happy. I don’t know how he feels about me, but I think I love him too much to cause any problems.”

“You’re a better person than me,” she said.

“I’ll be honest, it’s not just that. It hurts just to see them in photos. I couldn’t imagine the pain I’d feel if he actually told me he was happy or if he said he loves her. I couldn’t take that.”

“Then block him. Otherwise you’ll keep stalking his page.”

“Go back to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” she said with a yawn.

I bookmarked his page.

* * *

As much asI tried to avoid Facebook, I found myself regularly checking if Shane posted something new and checking Isabel’s page since she was more active. I was just looking at a new photo of them when my phone startled me.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Rosalie. It’s your father.”

“Hi, Dad. How are you?”

“I’m actually calling you about that. Promise you won’t get upset, but I need to tell you something.”

“Did something happen? Are you alright? You’re getting me worried.”

“I’m fine, but I wanted to tell you I had a stroke. The doctor called it a mini-stroke.”

“Oh my God! When?”

“About a month ago.”

“A month? And you’re just telling me now?”

“Well, I kind of told you about it then. Remember when I told you I collapsed while I was out running?”

“You said you were okay and that it was nothing.”

“I am okay. I didn’t want you to worry. But Joanna said I should tell you.”

“I’m coming out there,” I said as I opened my laptop. “I’m booking the next flight to New Jersey. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“No, you don’t have to come, I told you everything’s okay. I was in the hospital for a few days when it happened, but you know I never missed our weekly call.”

I wanted to strangle my dad. He was right, he never missed our weekly call, but he never told me what really happened to him. I was grateful that he still had enough of a friendship with Joanna that she told him to tell me. But now I needed to fly out there and see for myself if he really was as okay as he said.

“There’s a flight this afternoon. That’ll have me in late.”

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