Page 38 of Forbidden

Chapter Twelve

Rosalie

It wasafter midnight when Shane woke. As he stretched beside me, I watched his muscles ripple. I put my hand on his abs, over his six-pack, then slid my fingers up onto his chest as he yawned.

This might be the last time I touch you.

“I was thinking about what we were talking about before,” he said as he sat up. “This year is almost done for you, maybe you could transfer to a school in California. I can leave with Warren and do some odd jobs and save some money so that everything will be set when you come out.”

“Transfer schools? I… I don’t know.”

It wasn’t something I thought of, but it didn’t change how I felt. Shane needed to have his own life and to find his own way. He couldn’t do that with me around.

“Say you’ll come, Rosalie. I don’t want to go out there without you. You’re the other part of my soul. My entire life has brought me to you. I’m not going without you.”

“No, you should do this for yourself. You should go with Warren. Stop thinking about me. You need to be happy.”

“I am happy. I’m happy with you, wherever you are. I’m nothing without you, why would I leave when you’re here?”

“I… can’t go,” I said, trying to make my voice sound strong. “I’m going to finish school here. I can’t go with you, Shane.”

“What do you mean? What are you saying?”

“I don’t know what I’m saying.” I turned away from him. I couldn’t look at him anymore or I would change my mind. I didn’t want him to leave, I wanted him to stay, but I was holding him back. “I just… you should go. Do like Paul said and start a new life. Away from me.”

“But I love you. All I want to do is be with you,” he said as he gently pushed my hair back from my face and touched my cheek as our eyes met.

Those words were something I dreamed about hearing him tell me, something deep down I knew he felt. But I couldn’t say the words back to him. If I did, he would never leave. I had to say something so he would go and have the wonderful life he deserved.

“I met someone else,” I said.

Even as the words came out of my mouth, I wished I could take them back. He didn’t say anything. He stared at me, his eyes piercing through me. I couldn’t meet his stare. If I looked at him long enough, he would know I was lying. I turned away.

The silence in the room was deafening. Shane got up from the bed and crossed in front of me. His eyes were glassy, cold, and seeing them felt like a knife slicing through my heart.

He got dressed then tossed my clothes towards me. This was the worst break-up I could ever imagine. Not only did I have to ride home in the car with him, but I had to live with him. At the moment none of that really mattered though. All I could think about was how much he would hate me. I just made the person I loved more than anyone hate me.

As Shane parked the car in front of our house, he looked at me again. His jaw was set, but his eyes were red as if he had been holding back tears.

“You cut me to the bone,” he said. “I’m leaving tomorrow. I hope that fucking bastard you met knows how special you are.”

He slammed the car door shut and went into the house without turning back.

What was I doing? I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to stay with him. I wanted us to be forever.

While I questioned myself, I really didn’t have any doubts. I had convinced myself it was better this way. He was better off without me. I swallowed past the huge lump in my throat, blinking back my tears, and stuffed down my emotions by taking a deep breath.

“I love you too,” I whispered.

Shane left early in the morning before I woke up. He left a note for Joanna letting her know what he was doing and that he’d be in touch. He never said goodbye. I never heard from him, not even a call or a text.

I was broken, wrecked, ruined. His leaving destroyed me, left me empty, but it was all my own doing. Slowly, my heart that always raced whenever Shane was around stopped its frantic rhythm. I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t want to feel anything because if I did, I would have to acknowledge the pain I caused myself when I pushed him away.

I drowned myself in my classes and finished college ahead of schedule. I spent years looking for any sign of Shane, any mention of his name, but there was none.

Until one day, four years later, my father spoke the words that made my heart kick back to life again.

“Shane is coming.”

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