Page 62 of Something Like Sunflowers

I don’t know how long she lets me cry on her. It’s likely she’ll go back to being standoffish next time she sees me, and we’ll never speak of this moment again. I’d prefer that, I think. What with the crying and all.

I pull away from her, using my sleeve to wipe the mess that is my face, and snort so loud even the pigs give me a look.

“Thanks, Kate.”

“Yes, well.” She pushes her glasses back up on the bridge of her nose with one pointed finger, reminding me of a British nanny, and it makes me laugh. I wish she had some kind of magical powers in that bag of hers. An umbrella with the power to smack some sense into the guardian ad litem and steer Ellie far the fuck away from Cruella De-Mom would be handy.

She takes a seat on the empty bench and pats the spot next to her, surprising me, because I thought she just came here to break bad and peace out, but she’s got more to say.

So, I sit.

“Like I said, I’m not giving up yet.” She pulls out an iPad and stylus that she clicks and scrolls around for several moments. “You and Devyn got married last night, no mistake.”

I groan and rub my forehead. “I know, I know. I fucked up. It just—”

“Let me finish, please.” She clicks her tongue, like I’m one of the kids at the group home who won’t listen.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You got married. And you are the next closest living biological relative, who isn’t in jail with a life sentence, aside from Eleanor’s mother, who has a hefty record and history of drug addiction.”

I nod, following so far, but still unsure of where she’s going with this. I’m still not her damn mother. I’m not even her father. I’m her uncle. How do I compete with that kind of biology?

“But if she’s been clear on drug tests and out of rehab, isn’t that what you’re saying? That the judge will still favor the mother?”

“Well, there are several case studies that would confirm the courts favor a strong, healthy, two-parent home with any biological relative regardless of whether that person is the mother or father. It can be a grandparent or even an uncle…if they’re married and both upstanding people.”

“Are you saying that being married makes me the better option?”

Katie’s lips slide into a sly smile, one of the first I’ve ever really seen reach her eyes. A smile that says she’s found a loophole she’s confident she can use to win.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. We have a strong case already since you’ve raised her from birth and have taken all the parenting classes adoptive families are required to have undergone. We have a very good shot here, Hunter.”

I holler, scooping Katie up and earning several swats and yelps from her in the process of spinning her around in celebration. “We’re going to win this, aren’t we? For good!” I yell, setting her down and hugging her tighter than I imagine she’s comfortable with.

But I can’t help it.

“You’re the best, you know that? I don’t know what Ellie and I would do without you on our side.”

She stiffens in my arms, but then settles into my hug once she realizes I am not letting her out of feeling emotions for once. I’ve seen this woman twice a week or more for Ellie’s whole life, and this is our first hug.

“Thank you,” she says, politely peeling my arms from her body. “I appreciate your candor.”

I laugh. God, this woman needs to get out more.

“Now,” she says, looking to me with all the seriousness in the world, “you need to tell Devyn.”

I sigh heavily, backing up and nodding. I turn away, mulling over the ways to break this to her when our relationship is already fragile enough.

“How?” I ask Katie, hoping she’s got more magic up her sleeve for today, but she’s used it all up. No spoon full of sugar for me.

I just have to confront the woman I love. Tell her I’ve been raising my brother’s daughter for the past nine years, that she’s everything in the world to me, and keeping her with me could hinge solely on her decision to stay married after one drunken night back together and a damn dare?

With our past.

I close my eyes, rubbing at my temples as I pace in the barn, my boots wearing a path beneath my feet as I think.

“I know this is complicated.” Katie straightens her cardigan, dusting the hay from her backside as she stands. She pauses, and I see a rare smile curve up on one side of her face. “But the way the room comes to life when you and Devyn are together is something I’ve never quite seen before. And that kind of love is what Ellie deserves.”

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