Page 92 of Something Like Sunflowers

“You think this is helping? Coming here to rub it in Garrison’s face that she hit his kid? Right the fuck before a placement hearing.” I glance at Garrison, but he’s barely coherent. Drooping against the frame of the door. He won’t be conscious much longer.

I’ve seen him do it before. At least he won’t remember the fight. And if that’s the case, maybe we’ll still have a shot at covering this up before it reaches Katie. Or worse, the fucking mayor.

“You should have called me the second you found them so I could warn you against coming here. And alone?” I wring my hands through my hair, pacing in front of them. “Do you even know what could have happened to you, Dev? To both of you?”

Her eyes flare in shock and then flick to the ground. They stay there, and I know that can’t be good for me, but I gotta sort this other shit out. I’m a father first. I don’t have the luxury of playing it safe where Ellie’s placement is concerned.

“Gary,” I say, stalking forward and pulling him up by the shirt collar to look me in the eyes. He’s a sloppy mess, but my heart still tenses. I get it.

He’s me, before Ellie gave me something to live for.

But Jonathan? He stands far away from his father right now…holding Ellie’s hand.

I’ve missed some serious parts to this story.

Devyn wraps her arms around the kids, and I know instantly I’ve made a mistake. Hell, I knew it before I even spewed those words at her. I take in the tears streaming down her cheeks. Ones she very rarely shares with the world.

But there they are.

Because I hurt her.

She’s been here dealing with something Ellie got herself into, something that wasn’t even her responsibility, and I wasn’t here for that. She put herself in harm’s way with a drunk farmer she barely knows for my daughter.

And all I did was let the custody battle blind me from seeing how close we are to being something more than Ellie and Me…or Me and Dev.

It could be us.

And I may have messed it up in one solitary moment.

I groan as another problem rises to the surface of my mind. I can’t leave Jonathan here with Gary tonight. He’s wasted. Lucky for me, or unlucky for me, I’m not sure which, he’s too wasted to protest anything I say.

“Your boy’s stayin’ at my place.” I nod at Jonathan, bending down and sniffing the air to see just how much his father’s had. A lot.

“You can get him tomorrow when you’re sobered up. We’re gonna talk then. You hear me?”

“She’s gone, Isaac. Jusss fuckin’ gone.”

I know who he means, and I feel a tug at my heart.

Gary and I are one and the same. He lost someone much like I did. Too soon and much too fast.

Guilt creeps over me, and I grind my teeth as I shove my arm underneath him. I gave up trying to help him years ago. I tried to get him to see he’s got a damn son to live for, just like I had Ellie. But how do you get someone to see what’s right in front of them if all they ever do is look behind? I know all too well where this path Garrison is on could lead him, and I can’t bear to think it’s all because of our fucked-up family history. Not when I see his son, the same age as Ellie, begging him for more.

He needs help.

I breathe in, lifting his heavy frame.

I’m going to help him.

“I know. I know she is,” I tell him, hoisting his entire body over my shoulder with Jonathan’s aid and easing him into the house.

Jonathan gathers an overnight bag, and I take the private moment to look around. It’s not dirty, but it’s not clean. Not dark, but not bright. There’s food and clothes and furniture.

But it’s missing something.

Hope.

Something Ellie brings into my own home. That bright, shining sense of wonder and possibility that Devyn’s since enhanced.

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