Page 19 of Talk Nerdy To Me
“I’m a human squire,” he says on a sigh. “I have to work my way up to elven king. Please. Fucking. Go. Away. We’ll discuss how you know Britt later.”
“We can discuss it now. I met her last night at Silk, and I was into her until I found out she was gay.”
He snorts, then chokes back a laugh. “Right. Very gay,” he says, though he’s smiling in a way that makes me suspicious.
When I just arch an eyebrow at him, making no move to leave, he makes a frustrated sound.
“I’m still confused about what’s going on, and I’m not leaving until someone fills me in,” I decide to say.
“Land of the Lost Lore,” Dale answers, turning toward me. “It’s the name of Harley’s current biggest web-based game, and she just released the newest levels. She does these LARP sessions to get people excited, and because she likes wearing a crown and prosthetic ears and, you know, leading a lore cult. Now that you know what’s going on, will you please fucking leave? In about five minutes, they’re going to make us talk in certain ways, and certain words will be prohibited. I’d like for there to be as few witnesses to this as possible.”
“Can’t imagine why,” I state dryly.
A guy who defies all nerd clichés walks by in an outfit similar to Dale’s, normal ears and all. I’m not surprised when he goes straight toward Britt.
“What’s Britt supposed to be dressed like?” I decide to ask. “And what’s that guy talking to her?”
Why is she laughing? What’s he saying that has her laughing like that?
Dale is already narrowing his eyes on the scene, which confuses me.
“Britt is a Valkyrie princess. You earn your spot based on your game level. The guy is a level-one, mortal squire, like me. Those are the guys who come here to hit on the hot nerd girls since being nerdy went mainstream.”
He starts to walk away, but a short guy in a wild headdress and some weird, leather clothing stops in front of him, clipboard in hand and bugle hanging on his hip like a weapon or something.
“User name and level,” the guy says without looking up.
“Squireboy-seven-four-two-three,” Dale mutters, casting a glance toward me when I choke back a laugh. “Level one,” he adds, turning his attention back toward the short guy.
The guy peers up, scanning Dale with an unimpressed expression. “Figures,” the guy mutters before stepping in front of me.
He starts to speak, then his eyes narrow when he sees me.
“Out! This is for Land of Lost Lore participants only!”
Dale is the one choking back a laugh now when the hostile little man pulls up his bugle and blows it loudly. Right in front of me.
Fucking hell.
Cursing, I cover my ears, wincing when it wails again.
“Intruder! Intruder!”
Britt’s eyes swing in my direction as I back away, grinning in disbelief. I have to drop my hands from my ears to grab my guitar case, and the evil dick pounces.
The bugle wails loudly again, and Britt seems to hide her smile as she turns and walks away.
“Intruder!” the man shouts again.
When five possible ogres start heading toward me, I turn and jog away, carrying my guitar out of the park that is now manned by security, who is halting anyone not dressed appropriately from entering.
Britt fucking Sterling.
Unbelievable.
My mind is too boggled to try writing, so I go home to the loud house where the party has already started.
Sticks practically greets me at the door with a huge smile on his face.
