Page 147 of Talk Nerdy To Me
“Britt!” Base calls.
Taking a fortifying breath, I turn around to—
I have no idea what I was about to do, because my mind goes blank when his lips crash to mine. I stagger a little, and then I react without thinking. My hands go to his hair, pulling at him to come so much closer, as he kisses me into that stupor I remember all too well.
He groans into my mouth as he pushes me against the wall, kissing me harder as he slides his hand down my back and pulls me to him.
My mind keeps telling me to push him away, yet I keep surrendering and silently begging for something else to intervene on my behalf when I can’t stop myself.
He’s the one to break the kiss. I should feel relieved instead of slightly devastated. I hear our heavy breaths as my eyes flutter open to find him already staring at me. He softly pushes a piece of hair out of my face, eyes still holding mine in that way that always made me wonder what he was thinking.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Britt,” he murmurs before his lips brush mine again.
He turns to go before I can tell him I won’t be in town tomorrow, but I decide it’s probably better to keep my mouth shut because it was just kissing him. I don’t entirely trust it to say the right things.
I try to move, but I feel rooted to my spot, yet another unrealistic saying that now makes perfect sense. Every time I feel that simple connection with everyone else—a genuine sense of understanding—it usually seems to stem from him.
He makes me feel too much.
My eyes brim with tears as I exhale harshly.
A glass of champagne is suddenly being handed to me, and I look over, seeing Rain as she leans against the wall next to me.
I take the champagne, but I don’t drink it. Drinking impairs judgment, and I need all the clarity I can find in this moment.
“You and I are drastically different. I’m not even going to pretend to know how this feels for you right now,” Rain tells me. “I see your struggle, though. You’ve probably never truly wanted anything more than everything Base Masters seems to want to serve on a silver platter.” At my shaky breath, she pats my hand. “Don’t panic. Just tell me what’s going on. I’m sure this is scary territory for you.”
I nod a little too hard, and it knocks a tear free.
I clear my throat and shake my head when I try to talk, but know I’ll just blubber. She doesn’t say anything for a minute, even though I hear her try to start a sentence two times.
“Speaking from personal experience,” she says on the third attempt, “first loves can be intense. Even when you’re not ready for them. But someone very, very brilliant says all relationship problems can usually be rectified with simple, concise communication skills,” she finally says before patting my arm and walking away.
That Britt was as naïve as everyone dutifully tried to inform her she was.
All those endless streams of advice, and not one person accurately described how vulnerable the truth really leaves you when you realize how easily someone can simply just walk away now. In this life. Where the proverbial bubble shrouded me until it burst.
Things make more sense when you experience them for yourself. Then you realize why people try so hard to warn you.
