Watching Luna break free of my hand and run through the bright green grass towards her grandmother, I couldn’t help but feel like this was what had been missing from our life in New York City.
“Teddy!” My mother cries, clapping her hands together. “You’re finally here! Come join us!”
“Us?” I call, squinting. “Dad is at work. Did he beat us here?”
Luna makes it to my mother, who scoops her up. I see a second figure standing from the bistro table; all laid out with our lunch.
I quicken my step, my heart racing. That isn’t—it couldn’t be?—
“You remember Austin’s sister, Winnie, don’t you, dear?” Mom asks, one hand on Winnie’s back as she pushes her forward.
Faltering, I find myself momentarily stunned and silent. After an awkward, lingering moment, Winnie takes a step forward.
“Hi, Ted,” she says, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, and I’m sent whirling back to two years ago.
Winnie, my best friend’s younger sister, looks exactly like she did the last time I saw her. She has long, curly brown hair, a perpetual crease between her brows, and a soft, cherub-esque curve to her face. Those light, loose jeans, and blue blouse might be the same ones she wore the last night I saw her.
As I get closer to her, though, I see something different—that sharp and calculating look in her eye shows the years that have passed.
It also shows she still hasn’t forgiven me for sneaking out of bed that morning, never saying goodbye or calling her back.
“Hi, Winnie,” I say a beat too late, my voice a bit rough from surprise. “You’re still living on the property then?”
Her eyes widened, and my mother said my name harshly. I realized only after glancing at them both that I must have sounded rude.
“Not that it’s a bad thing,” I continue, hoping to smooth things over. “Your father lived here till he died, right?”
Winnie blinks at me. I realize what I’ve said right after I say it.
“I mean?—”
“This is Luna!” My mother interrupts, shooting me a glare. I mouth an apology and gratefully accept her interception.
“Hi, Luna,” Winnie says softly, holding her hand. Very gently, she takes my daughter’s fingers between hers. She shakes them gently, and Luna laughs.
When looking at Luna, Winnie brightens. It’s interesting to watch. I hadn’t even known she liked kids, but I guess two years changes people—after all, I’m a father now.
Winnie glances up at me, her warm eyes getting more remarkable as we meet. Once again, a wave of shame hits me.
The way I treated her when I was last here…
Austin had asked me to visit his little sister at her little campus apartment for her birthday because he couldn’t get leave from his deployment. We’d all grown up together since their dad worked and lived on my dad’s property. I hadn’t considered it, though I had been annoyed at wasting my last night at home with a kid.
But then I’d seen her… I spent time with her. And Winnie wasn’t a kid anymore.
The memories are hard to ignore. The way she looked that night, her twentieth birthday, all rosy cheeks and plump lips… the way she’d tasted, her lips and her skin and?—
I push the thoughts to the side. I am thinking about sleeping with Winnie Chapman, taking her virginity, then lying about it to my best friend for years. Jesus, it was enough to send me spiraling with guilt halfway across the country, let alone with her and my kid and my mom looking at me.
“I’m Winnie,” she says, still talking to my daughter with those soft eyes.
Luna smiles sheepishly and then buries her face in my mom’s shoulder. My mom visited me last month, having spent some weeks or so in New York with Luna and I. Luna had missed her GG so much—it’s nice to see them together again.
Strangely, it’s nice to see Luna with Winnie. Regardless of how we parted, the Chapmans had been a big part of my life. It’s crazy to me that none of them had ever met Luna.
“Winnie has graciously offered to be Luna’s nanny,” Mom says, her voice bright and happy. Her eyes are narrowed, and there’s a warning in her gaze. I need to get a fucking grip.
I hesitate, only briefly. I want to ask about Winnie’s credentials. The last time I heard, she was partway through a college degree. I only want the best for my daughter, and the best is usually someone with ten years of experience and multiple child psychology degrees.