Page 52 of South Beach Bodyguards

I shivered. “Your loss.” I ran my finger over his lip, unable to resist. “Unless you know what to say.”

But he just shook his head. “I wish I did.”

I stepped away, disappointed. “I’ll be unpacking in the kitchen. Thanks for bringing the couch.”

fifteen

I stood to the right of the stage, Alejandro next to me, earbud firmly in place. Alejandro was waxing enthusiastic about all the beautiful women in the audience at the concert we were doing security for. The venue had security but the pop star on stage had hired additional bodyguards to back up her team that traveled with her. So we were knee deep in suits. It seemed excessive to me and unlike Alejandro, I had no appreciation for the view.

“Oh, man, look at that one. She has glow sticks for a tube top. That’s fucking awesome.”

Glancing over, I shrugged. “She looks like an alien porn flick.”

“Exactly.”

“Not my type.” Isabel was my type. And she was trying to tell me something. Or rather, demand I say something. But I had no fucking clue what it was she wanted me to say. I had apologized, but it hadn’t seemed to have mattered. Yet… she had flirted with me that afternoon when we were delivering her couch. She wanted me. That was clear. And I wanted her.

I didn’t want to be that guy who missed an opportunity because he couldn’t open his damn mouth and say what he needed to.

Fuck. I already was that guy.

I was the asshole who banged her then didn’t call. It didn’t matter if I had good intentions. What did that mean? I’d still blown her off. She had been kicked by that guy and I hadn’t showed up to the hospital ER to see what was going on. I had let Mickey keep me informed.

What had I proved? That I was no better than my mother.

Maybe that’s what she wanted me to say. That I would leave the past behind and man up. For her.

My arms were across my chest, feet firmly planted. I could feel the scowl on my face, the one I’d been wearing for a week without interruption.

“Dude, will you just go see her?” Alejandro shook his head. “You’re being stubborn as hell and while I know you’re basically stubborn all the time, but this goes beyond stupid. You’re being a total dumb ass.”

“What are you talking about?” I said, even though I wasn’t stupid. I knew he was referring to Isabel. “Hey, did I tell you my dad and Kim are back together?” One Harris man knew how to take a leap of faith in a relationship and it was not me.

Instead, I was working out two hours a day and listening to a lot of Metallica. I was going to be fucking ripped if I didn’t sort out my emotions sooner than later. I was going to look like I’d been juicing.

“Your dad’s got game. Unlike you.”

“Fuck you.”

“Just call her. Because really, any reason you think you can’t be with her is a dumb one.”

That made me turn and glare at him. “It’s my fault that piece of shit Juan attacked her. She could have been killed. You know that.” But it was a weak argument at this point, and I knew that.

What was holding me back was I didn’t know the right words Isabel needed. I wasn’t a man who ever knew the right words.

“You could argue it’s my fault too, since I was there at that party, but the truth is, it’s Juan’s fault. Not yours or anyone else’s. He is a murderer and you didn’t know that. How could anyone know that?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” But a niggle of doubt, and hell, even hope crept in. Alejandro was not the guy usually supporting the idea of commitment. He liked to sample every flavor that came his way. I was wracking my brains trying to figure out the right way to handle the situation. I was 0-2 so far. I needed a hit.

So I texted her, repeating her own words back as an admission.

I’m as asshole.

I know.

What else was I supposed to say? It was true. I felt shame, hot and thick, in my mouth. I knew it was the right thing to stay away from Isabel, but hurting her wasn’t who I wanted to be.

Can I come over?

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