Page 160 of South Beach Bodyguards

Swallowing, I wiped my eyes. “No. I do want to love him. But I want to start over and do this right. Without the shadow of Max hanging over us or me wanting to have a baby.”

My best friend reached out and squeezed my hand. “Hey. There are no do-overs. Own your shit. Take a minute. Figure out what you really want. Then make it happen. You’re no dumb blonde. You know what you’re doing.”

“Thanks for the confidence but I’m pretty sure I’ve never known what I was doing. I was totally fooled by Max.”

“What did he look like, by the way?”

“High as a kite and like life has kicked him in the dick a few times.” It was true.

“Good,” Zoe said with relish. “Though I wouldn’t mind kicking him in the dick for real for what he’s done to you. And where the fuck was he?”

“Mexico.” Did I want to kick Max in the dick? I thought about it. Anger wasn’t usually my style. I tended to forgive far too easily. But I didn’t want to forgive Max. I wanted him to give me back my innocence and the last five years of my life.

But Zoe was right. There were no do-overs. I could let this break me or I could get the hell over it and finally move on the way everyone had been urging me to for years.

“I can’t believe my ass is sitting on Lola Brandy’s lounge chair. This is so awesome. Just as a side note.” She wiggled around on the chair like she wanted to absorb the mojo.

It made me laugh. I stood up. “You know what I need to do? I need to jump in this pool and wash Max off of me once and for all.” I stripped down to my bra and panties. It felt liberating.

I had skinny dipped here with Alejandro but this was different. This was shedding layers of the past, not my inhibitions. This was a soul cleanse. This was me forgiving myself for loving Max.

Diving in I let the cool water embrace me.

I knew I had to tell Alejandro everything, even if it embarrassed me. Even if it meant he would never speak to me again.

The next day, hungover as fuck, I went down to the police station and posted bail for Max just so I could punch him again. He refused to get in the car with me.

“Fuck you, I’m walking,” he said, when I yelled at him to get in the car.

“Pussy.”

“Suck my dick.” He was heading north out of the parking lot.

“You let me bail you out but you won’t get in my car?” I had a throbbing headache and a bad attitude. “Fine. Walk, though I can’t imagine where you’re going unless it’s to hell.”

He stopped walking and glared back at me, his face bruised from our fight the day before. “Stop pretending like you’ve been so goddamn injured. I never did shit to you, Alejandro.”

I rubbed the top of my head, hoping to ease the pain in my skull. I had torn it up at the clubs the night before, and had consumed more vodka than was advisable. “You’re a piece of work, you know that? My whole childhood was about you. Mom and Dad were always walking on eggshells hoping you didn’t explode. It was all about you.”

He scoffed. “Grow up. You’re not eight anymore.”

I started toward him but he darted to the right. “Dude, go ahead. We’re in the police station parking lot. You’ll have assault charges on you right next to me.”

He was right and I wasn’t about to give him that satisfaction. “You’re not worth it. I’m done with you. You may not be dead but you’re dead to me. I bailed your sorry ass out and if you have any sense of decency at all you’ll leave Mom and Dad and Miranda alone from here on out.” I was worried about my parents. They were going to be heartbroken when they found out he just hadn’t contacted them in five years. But I had to tell them. No more secrets in our family. No more lies.

“That’s ridiculously dramatic.” Max held his hand out. “Give me a hundred bucks and I’ll leave Miranda alone.”

I froze. He hit a nerve and he knew it. He goaded me. “You like her, don’t you? You like your brother’s cast offs?”

My fist shot out and nailed him straight in the gut, because I wanted to see him double over. He groaned.

“Is that all you got?” he asked, drawing himself back up. He looked beat to hell, tired, older than his thirty years.

“No, but you know what? I’m going to leave it at that. You’re my brother, even if that means nothing to you. It does still mean something to me.” I could say that Max was dead to me, but it didn’t change anything. We were connected and always would be. We shared a mutual history and I couldn’t erase the past.

Max cocked his head. He looked like he didn’t know what to make of my words. “And what does it mean? That you’re going to invite me over to dinner? You, me, and Miranda? No, thanks.”

Something about his tone made me curious. “Does it really bother you that she and I started something? I wouldn’t think you would care, honestly.” I didn’t. “For the record, it had nothing to do with you. I wasn’t trying to get back at you by seeing Miranda. I’ve always wanted to be with her, it’s that simple. But I didn’t think you would care one way or the other.”

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