Page 20 of South Beach Bodyguards

“What?” I asked.

But she just shrugged, that smile still tugging at the corner of her mouth.

That was the look of a woman planning something. I didn’t know how to drive home the fact that it was a one-off, that I was not going to cave. I just wasn’t. “Isabel, I’m not kidding.”

“Did I say anything?”

“No.” Now I was thoroughly confused. “But you understand, right?”

“I understand everything.”

The hell she did. “You think you know me. You don’t fucking know me.”

But she just smiled again. “I’ll just finish packing. I don’t need much.”

What the hell did that mean? I was afraid to ask.

It became pretty damn obvious when she bent over and fished the condoms out of the wastebasket and checked the expiration date on the package. “Oh, yeah, these aren’t any good. We should stop at the store.”

I felt my jaw clench. “Isabel. That was a kiss. I’m not having sex with you.”

“But I want you to.”

“I want a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean I should do them.” Like her. I should not do her.

She blinked at me like it was all so obvious. “I want you to be my first. I promise I don’t expect anything afterwards. I don’t want to date.”

Now I was thoroughly confused. “You just want me to take your virginity? That’s fucked up.” Intriguing, but fucked up. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had been with a virgin. I had to have been about sixteen and I was sure I had done a shit job of it then. Maybe I would do better now, but that was just a hell of a responsibility. Besides, this was Isabel. I couldn’t wrap my head around what she was thinking.

“Why is that fucked up? It feels like it’s taking on a life of its own, being a virgin, you know what I mean?”

“No.” I didn’t. I barely remembered being a virgin and I didn’t remember thinking about it a whole lot. I had just dived on the first girl who had made it clear she was down with it. Her name was Katie and I had thought I was well and truly in love with Katie. When I was younger I had mistaken lust for love. I knew better now.

“Like it’s ruining the spontaneity of future relationships because it’s this thing now… like all this pressure. I am at the point where I’m almost terrified of having sex. Like I’m on the cusp of having to just having to make until marriage now. I want it to be a non-issue.”

When she explained it like that it made sense, in theory, I guess. But I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to be the guy who just broke her seal so it would be a non-issue. I wasn’t sixteen anymore, impulsive and enthusiastic, because I knew that sex was never as straight-forward as everyone wanted to believe it was. It was complicated. Messy. “Why me?”

“Because you’re a good guy. You like to be helpful.”

Seriously? I guess I should be flattered, but what the hell? For a girl who had waited to almost twenty-two she was being awfully casual about the whole thing. “This isn’t opening a jar of pickles for you or giving you a ride home, this is me being your first time. That’s a big deal.” God, I was sweating. Both from stress and from the idea of being the first man to push inside Isabel’s body. I could only imagine how tight and wet and sweet she would be, and it was on the verge of destroying me. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to pick her up and put her down on her double bed, a mere four feet away.

But once I did, once we did, it couldn’t be taken back. She was being impulsive and I couldn’t let her talk me into something she might regret.

“I know. That’s why I want it to be you, not anyone else. I know you’ll take it seriously. You’ll take your time. You’ll see it as a responsibility to make sure I can enjoy it as much as I can.”

That was true. Maybe she knew me better than I realized. I rubbed my jaw. “You need to think about this,” I told her. “You weren’t planning this a week ago so seriously, just sleep on it tonight.”

“Does that mean you’re saying yes?” She looked excited.

Damn it. That enthusiasm made me hard. “No. It means you’re going to think about it. I’m going to think about it.” I was going to think a whole hell of a lot about it.

“Okay. But if it’s not you, it will be someone else,” she said.

An image of that hairy ass douchebag Juan popped into my head. There was no fucking way it was going to be him. None. Zero. I’d kill him first. I didn’t even know him and I hated him. I wasn’t going to let him lay a hand on Isabel. But I also wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t going to be blackmailed into saying yes. “Don’t threaten me.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Excuse me? How is speaking the truth threatening you?”

“You know exactly why. You only said that to get under my skin and make me jealous. Yes, the thought of someone else being your first upsets me, only because I know it couldn’t possibly be someone you care about, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to take the bullet instead.”

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