Page 20 of Brutal Surrender

I think back to all my threats of breeding Ramona. I don’t give a shit about karma, but maybe this is payback.

“I can reschedule our visit to the new lab,” Ming suggests.

“No,” I reply, even though I wouldn’t mind extra time playing with—correction: tormenting—my pet. It’s crazy how my body starts to warm just at the thought of her, even with my head still feeling like it could implode.

“Or we can play it by ear when the time nears. Maybe you’ll feel better after some breakfast.”

But I don’t feel like eating. Sitting out on the balcony with extra-dark shades on, I have a cup of sheng pu-erh that Ming has imported from Yunnan Province, where the tea has been aged nearly two decades.

As Ming goes over the plans for the day, I take in the view of Kingston’s skyline with the Blue Mountains in the back. As my yacht pulls closer to the bustling port with its many container terminals and cargo ships, I can also see the historic waterfront district with its colorful buildings and colonial-era architecture. Across Kingston Harbour sits Fort Charles, an old stone fortress built in the 17th century, and the village of Port Royal. I wonder if Irene would have enjoyed visiting a country like Jamaica. Violent crime remains high in the country, though everyone knows better than to mess with my operations, but there’s stunning natural landscapes, a rich culture, and interesting history.

Shanghai was the farthest Irene ever got outside her hometown in Jiangxi Province. Though she once mused what it would be like to travel the world, I knew she could be equally happy living in a small village amidst the rice paddies. Having lived only in major cities with my uncle, I wouldn’t normally gravitate to more rural places like Jiangxi, but as long as Irene was happy, nothing else mattered.

Closing my eyes, I enter a partially awake state with thoughts of Irene. It’s been six years since she died, and not once has she visited my dreams.

Maybe she would if I actually visited her grave or acknowledged her memorial tablet, which goes wherever I go, but I don’t actually look at it. I promised myself that as soon as I’ve avenged her death, I’ll finally be able to face her. I might even be able to suppress my shame and guilt enough to visit her parents for the first time and confess that I’m the reason their daughter was killed. Every year, I anonymously deposit the equivalent of a million US dollars into their savings account, but I know it doesn’t make up for what I did. If I hadn’t wanted Irene for myself, she would still be alive.

By the time I decided to walk away from the Black Dragon, it was too late.

Do I wish Irene would show up in my dreams? Even though it’d only be an illusion, it would feel real. I could hold her, apologize to her, love her in all the ways I didn’t get to.

But I’m thankful she hasn’t appeared in my dreams. It would only make the agony of waking worse.

*****

Suyin, a woman nearing fifty with a slight build, shakes her head as she runs her hands over different parts of my head.

“I think acupuncture not help your headache,” she declares.

I turn to look at her from where I lay on the massage bed in my boxer shorts. “How’s that possible? It’s just a headache.”

“Yours not simple headache.”

What the fuck is she talking about? Acupuncture has always helped me with pain.

She furrows her brow. “Is more than headache.”

“Then what is it?”

She stares at me. “Only you know.”

Her gaze unsettles me, making me impatient. “If I knew, I would tell you what to do.”

“Search your soul.”

Her words give me pause as my thoughts turn briefly to Ramona.

I don’t have time for this gibberish. Sitting up, I grab my shirt. I’ll just throw down some more ibuprofen.

Dressed in a lightweight Brioni suit, I join Charlie and Yang Mi in the tender along with our security. Yang Mi sports a smart white pantsuit with sunglasses. She’s a few years older than Charlie and keeps her hair cropped short, almost like the cut Ramona has. Charlie is wearing a tailored Kiton and flashy Rolex.

Once on land, we drive to our facilities outside of Kingston. The facilities manager gives us a tour to show us the new automated systems that were recently implemented to improve the processing line for our omega blockers.

“This has significantly increased our production capacity, allowing us to meet growing demand,” he says.

He takes us into the R&D department next.

“The tests on the mice are promising for the Alpha enhancers, but the estimate is that we’re still over a year out from anything viable,” the head of R&D says.

---