Page 6 of Regret

“I’m sore as hell still. I know I’ll be dealing with that for a while. But, I need to get out of bed and the house. Valor is all over the damn place and I need a break from him,” I state, knowing Slim will understand even if he doesn’t know what’s going on between the two of us.

“The bruises are healin’ nicely, sweetheart. They’re not as dark today. Your ribs are gonna be the worst part of healin’. Some days you’ll feel as if you can run a marathon again and the next takin’ a breath will put you in agony. And forget about movin’ properly. That’s gonna take a while still,” he says, looking down at me with a small smile on his face as he thinks of all the injuries he’s had over the years. Yeah, Slim’s speaking from experience.

“I know. That’s the worst part for sure. Conrad knew what the hell he was doing. I’m guessing all the guys know?” I ask him, as I lace my fingers together and look up at one of the men who’s helped me countless times over the years.

“Yeah. Told them in church. Everyone is out lookin’ for this cocksucker. We’ll get him, Savannah. Just know the girls and you are safe and this twatwaffle won’t get to you again,” Slim states, determination filling his voice along with the promise that he’ll keep his word.

“I’m gonna go see Gwen and Shy. Are they inside?” I ask him, wrapping my arms around Slim in a hug that he doesn’t hesitate to return.

“Yeah. The boys are outback ridin’ dirt bikes so the ol’ ladies are in the common room. At least they were when I came out here,” he says, a knowing look on his face because none of the women like watching the boys ride the dirt bikes. Or the girls because most of them ride too.

Walking inside, I find Gwen and Shy sitting on the couch talking about something. Shy spots me first and waves me over to join them. Slowly, I make my way over to them and sit down at the end of the couch so I can lean against the arm and keep a pillow behind me to help me get comfortable.

“Are you okay?” Gwen asks me, concern filling her face as she takes me in from head to toe.

No one other than Shy has seen me since I got beat up and I’m sure it’s a shock to see me even after over a week of healing. Tears fill her eyes as she takes in every bruise, cut, and scrape of my skin. I reach out to grab her hand and hold on for a few minutes without saying a word because nothing needs to be said about it. We’ve all seen one another like this over the years for one reason or another.

“I’ll be okay, Gwen. It’s a lot of healing and I still get tired from doing nothing at all, but every day gets a little better than the last. He’s not gonna keep me down for long. So, how are you guys doing?” I ask, wanting the attention off of me as I release Gwen’s hand and put mine back in my lap.

“We’re all good here. You know how it goes. The boys are out riding the bikes and one of these days they’re gonna crash while the men watch on. Hell, they got the girls out there riding and they’re almost worse than the boys are. Always feeling as if they gotta prove themselves when they don’t,” Shy answers, a grimace on her face as she folds her arms over her chest. Rayven or Kinsliegh must be out there for her to be this pissy about the boys riding. “So, what’s going on with you and Valor? Is he driving you crazy?”

“Valor always drives me crazy. I just told him today that it’s the last day he’ll be at the house. He needs to go back to Pine View and continue living his life. The girls are gonna be the ones hurt again so he can spend the day with them and tomorrow our lives will return to normal. Valor doesn’t get to hurt my sisters again by coming here and then disappearing again,” I state, my heart beating out of my chest with the thought of him leaving again but I have no choice but to make him go away.

“Ya know, I never did understand what happened between the two of you,” Gwen says, turning to look at me and give me her full attention. “One day you two were all over one another and the next you started looking at him like he was the biggest piece of shit you ever saw. What happened?”

“Well, I found letters that he’d been writing to a girl. Telling her how much he loved her, that he’d wait for her to deal with her current relationship because he knew it wasn’t making her happy, and all sorts of shit like that. He never gave them to her, but it’s the point that he was in love with someone else while fucking me and sharing my bed. Telling me things that he wasn’t ever gonna follow through with. That broke my heart, but I could deal with it. I was planning on telling him that we weren’t gonna continue sleeping together, but then I came over here to get away from the house and what I saw shattered me.

“Valor was here and was half naked. His arm was around one of the house bunnies. She was soaking wet and he was closer than he needed to be. They disappeared from the common room together and it doesn’t take a genius to know they were going somewhere to fuck. Not when he was already half naked. It just further proved my point that I was nothing more than a notch on his bed post. I’m better than that. It might have taken me a very long time to realize my worth, but I know I don’t deserve to be treated like a piece of shit who will look the other way as he fucks every female and then comes back to my bed,” I tell the two women in front of me for the first time in almost six years. No one has ever heard what happened between the two of us until today.

“Are you sure he was going to fuck her?” Shy questions me, always trying to be the voice of reason in these kinds of situations. “’Cause the man I know was fucking head over heels in love with you and wanted you more than I’ve seen a man want a woman.”

“I’m sure. She made sure to rub it in my face every time she saw me. Just one of the reasons I try not to come over here if I don’t have to. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always help you guys out for cookouts and things, but I don’t want to be around the woman who wants to rub it in my face that she was fucking Valor the same time I was. Plus, he was in love with another woman. I’m sure he still is. Valor didn’t love me. He wanted to fuck me and helped me with the girls, but that’s it,” I tell her, pain filling me as the woman in question enters the common room and makes her way over to us as I try to get off the couch without pain filling me. It’s time for me to leave here if she’s gonna be around.

“Don’t leave, Savannah. Please,” she says, her voice softer than I’ve ever heard it as Shy turns to face her with a scowl on her face. “I didn’t fuck Valor that day. I’ve never fucked him. At that point, I was upset because I wanted him and I’m not going to lie about it. But, he told me flat out that he was with you and not going to cheat on you with me or anyone else. I’m sorry I lied to you.”

I have no words. This woman did her best to make me hate Valor and feel as if I were nothing. The only other woman that ever made me feel the same way is my mother. Gwen grabs my hand and holds it in hers as Killer and Playboy enter the common room, talking about the boys riding until they see the small group of us. Instantly they’re at our sides and looking from me to the house bunny and back again.

“Everythin’ good here?” Playboy questions as Killer walks to Gwen and lifts her in his arms before taking her seat and placing his woman in his lap.

“Yep. I was just gonna head home,” I answer, not wanting to be around this house bunny any longer. “Girls, thanks for the talk. I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll walk you home,” Playboy says as I carefully get off the couch and he does nothing to help me because I’ll bitch if he does.

With a nod of my head, I try to push the house bunny’s words from my mind. Apparently I didn’t see what I thought I did that day here in the common room. It really doesn’t change the fact that I will never be with Valor because he’s in love with Kasey though. What we had was special and what I needed at the time. Now, the same isn’t true. I want a man who is only gonna love me and no one else. Call it selfish if you want, but I’m not going to be anyone’s second choice. I’ll remain single forever before I resort to that shit. Telling the girls goodbye, I let Playboy walk me home where I head straight for the bedroom and lock myself away to cry. It’s been a long day and it’s not even lunch time yet. I’m ready for it to be over with so Valor can leave and head home where he belongs.

Chapter Five

Valor

SAVANNAH TELLING ME that yesterday was my last day here in Benton Falls makes me laugh my ass off. She has no clue what the fuck is going through my mind about her because I haven’t told her anything. My focus has been on her healing and making sure she doesn’t push herself or get some kind of infection from the wounds Conrad fucking gave her. When she’s ready to listen to me, I’ll explain the situation with Kasey and the house bunny. I know the exact day she’s talking about and it’s not what she was thinking at all. There is no way in hell I’d fuck a house bunny because it’s never been my thing. I mean, yeah I indulged a time or two and fucked one if I were at the clubhouse and drunk. But, if I had my choice, I’d rather go out and find some random woman to fuck instead of a woman we all know is more than likely chasing a patch and nothing more. I learned that shit real early since I was always at the clubhouse. Vault typically didn’t fuck with them either until our dad was killed and he went off the rails.

Still, it didn’t stop me from spending the day with the girls and realizing how much I miss them and the time we used to spend together. Ava, Chloe, and Miracle are the best girls I’ve ever met in my life. Every day they show me what it means to be innocent and filled with love. Something they learned from their big sister and no one else. Every single day Savannah shows her sisters nothing but love and supports them in everything they want to do. And these girls are busy as fuck from what I’m hearing.

Ava is in high school and not only is she cheerleading for football and basketball, but she also plays softball in the spring. Since she’s sixteen now, Ava’s looking for a job around town to fill the weekends when she doesn’t have a game or competition. So far she hasn’t been able to find anything willing to work around her schedule. I’m sure she will eventually. Plus she studies with a group of friends on the weekends she’s not busy in order to maintain her straight A average. She’s always been smart as fuck and I know she’s gonna earn a ton of scholarships to college from the videos the girls have been showing me of her playing sports and doing the cheerleading thing. Ava fucking devotes herself to everything she does and doesn’t let anything stop her from accomplishing her goals. Another trait she learned from Savannah.

Chloe is in her last year of middle school. She’s a mix of Ava and Miracle. Chloe has no problem going out and meeting people, spending time in groups of her friends, and all that bullshit. Right now, she doesn’t play any sports in school, but when she gets in high school, she wants to play tennis and basketball. She practices every single day and spends hours on the court improving herself the best she can. When she’s not at school or practicing, Chloe is in the house helping Savannah with the housework or reading a book. Miracle and her talk about books all the time and share them between one another. They go to the library and borrow books weekly.

Miracle is the baby of the girls and she’s the shyest of the group. She’d rather stay inside the house with Savannah than go out and put herself as the center of attention for any reason. Miracle loves reading and listening to music. I’ve caught her countless times over the years singing when she thinks no one’s around. Miracle has the voice of an angel and blushes when I compliment her voice. She brushes it off and says I’m lying to make her feel good, but she’s wrong. Her voice is filled with grit and a smokey quality that you don’t hear very often. Miracle is very careful where she sings now and I know it will be a long time before I hear it again. Anyway, she doesn’t play sports and hardly has any friends at school. Miracle keeps her circle small and doesn’t trust anyone without getting to know them for a long period of time. I think I’m one of the few exceptions to that rule. I can’t blame her though after all the hell the girls have been through. However, when she lets you in her life, you get to see the light, free side of her and I will do everything in my power to protect that from being destroyed by anyone.

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