Page 39 of Regret

“Okay. I’m done wastin’ my time with these stupid fucks anyway. See, my wife and daughters are upstairs and I’m gonna go spend the rest of my days makin’ sure they forget all about your dumbasses. My wife will deliver our children in seven months and our family will grow. You will have nothin’ and no one at your side because of the choices you made in life,” I state before turning and walking away from Conrad, his father, and John.

On my way upstairs, I head for the hallway where the offices are. I need to talk to Buzz and apologize for my accusations against him that day in church. Everyone has been leery to be around him and talk because of me and I hate that shit. So, I’m going to man the fuck up and apologize to him like I should’ve directly after the altercation took place. Knocking on his door, I wait for him to call out for me to enter before opening the door and stepping in his room to close the door behind me.

“Valor, did you need somethin’?” he questions me, his voice formal and letting me know he’s not happy with me.

“Yeah, I did. I want to apologize for accusin’ you of helpin’ Conrad and his father. I have no excuse for goin’ off on you like that. So, I’m sorry, Buzz,” I tell him, not sure of what else to say to him after the colossal fuck-up I made when it comes to him.

“I get it, Valor. Tempers were runnin’ high from everyone. It wasn’t just you. Yeah, I’m not gonna say that it didn’t piss me the fuck off, because it did. I would never betray you or anyone else in this club. Especially when it’s about a woman and kids. This club fuckin’ saved me when I was ready to call it quits. I’ve never once gone against a single order or betrayed anyone even thinkin’ about joinin’ the Phantom Bastards. Then to have people not talkin’ to me or around me fuckin’ gutted me. Honestly, I was ready to turn in my cut and leave if that’s how everyone felt. So, I appreciate you comin’ in here and apologizin’ to me,” Buzz says, making me feel like shit more than I did before coming in here. But, I don’t blame him because I made all this happen.

“I’m glad you didn’t turn in your cut, Buzz. That’s not what I wanted at all. I will make sure everyone knows that you’ve done nothin’ wrong and that they also need to step up and apologize to you for how they made you feel. We were all wrong and I will do what I can to make it up to you. You need somethin’ let me know and I’ll help in any way possible,” I tell him, pulling him out of his chair when he extends a hand for me to shake and taking him into a man hug, slapping him on the back before releasing him.

“Okay. I’m gonna get back to work siftin’ through all this shit we just got from John. Do you think the FBI will go easy on him?” Buzz asks me as he takes his seat again and I think about the answer.

“I honestly don’t know. I’m not sure how much pull Fox actually has with them or what they’re willin’ to do since he gave up a ton of information we didn’t already have. You three have been bustin’ you asses and dug up a ton of dirt on them, but he filled in the missin’ pieces,” I tell him honestly before leaving him alone to continue working on this information so we aren’t surprised when the trial comes up and my wife has to testify.

Leaving Buzz alone, I go in search of my family. The girls are in the common room with Court, Shy, and Playboy. They’re all working on their schoolwork with Court overseeing them. Savannah is nowhere to be found as Shy sees me and points down the hall I just came from. Heading for her office, I let myself in to find her in the wheelchair in front of her desk putting the numbers into the programs she has on her computer. I’m so glad I’m not the one dealing with this shit any longer. My wife enjoys it and she loses herself when she’s working. I’m not gonna stop her from working. At least until it’s time to go see our nephew, Annabell, and my brother. Then, I’ll have to force her to stop and get ready to leave with me. I’ve gotta figure out how to get her a bath or shower too. I’ll have to call Doc and see if she can even get her feet wet yet. That’s the one question I forgot to ask when we were in the hospital. Something to add to the growing list of things I need to get taken care of now that we no longer have to worry about Conrad showing up and taking my girls from me.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Savannah

One month later

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED so fast over the last month. Zach had a completely new house built on the opposite side of Vault and Annabell’s house. The girls and him went out and completely furnished it without letting me help or go on a single shopping trip. They wanted to have everything taken care of for me without me lifting a finger and I let them do this. Especially the girls because they were so excited to help Zach and get the house ready for us to move into. We were all part of the house build from the design to picking out the color of paint and carpeting in the bedrooms. The girls designed their bedrooms to fit them and what they’d like in a room of their own. Zach wouldn’t let me see the design of our bathroom but assured me I’d fall in love with it the second I see it. He wasn’t wrong. Zach gave me my dream kitchen and bathroom and I made sure to thank him properly.

Instead of having a two-story home like the last time, Zach and I chose to go with a single story house. The girls have their own wing as they call it. All three of them have their bedrooms in the same hallway as a library and study area that’s been set up for them. They got used to working together on schoolwork and have continued that since going back to school. Even Ava joins them when she’s not at practice of some kind. Miracle is getting back into the swing of things with her friends at school and the study group that meets at the library, and Chloe is getting ready to start swimming with the team again. All three of them are living their best lives and I’m thrilled I get to watch them learn and grow every damn day.

Anyway, the rest of the house is an open floor plan with the master bedroom on the opposite side of the house from the girls. We’ve got a nursery just before our bedroom, the laundry room is at the entrance of the hall and I’ve got an office across from the laundry room. Zach has an office in the basement that’s finished along with his man cave. There’s also a storage room in the basement for any seasonal decorations we buy and anything else we need to put in there. The living room is large and has one of the biggest couches I’ve ever seen before. It’s got more than enough room for all of us to sit comfortably on when we have a movie night. Zach has his recliner and he made sure we have a huge TV mounted to the wall. I love our new home and was happy with everything my sisters and Zach chose to fill our space with.

They even surprised me with a complete nursery. Right now, the walls have been painted in a soft yellow so it’s gender neutral. Zach hung up pictures of our family on the walls and put together all of the furniture filling the twins’ space. There are two cribs, changing tables, and rocking chairs. Zach wants to be there for every part of the twins’ lives and I’m not about to stop him. If that means we buy two of everything, I’m okay with it. We both have more than enough money to do so. There’s also pictures of teddy bears and the first pictures from the ultrasound that was taken in the hospital. The four of them thought of everything and I fell in love with the nursery from the second I walked through the door. My husband and sisters get me completely and made this room a safe haven for our twins.

The day after the FBI came and took Conrad, his father, and the man who was able to bypass the security system and cameras, everyone who doesn’t live here in Pine View went back home. They waited long enough for Vault to bring Annabell and Cyrus home before they all packed up and left us alone in the clubhouse to celebrate Cyrus and Annabell being home. We all shed some tears and the boys were talking nonstop about moving back as soon as they become full patch members. They’re so excited and can’t wait to get through Prospecting so they can move here and start their lives. It’s refreshing to see them so happy and excited when we haven’t had much to celebrate over the last few months.

I’ve been seeing Dr. Craven and she’s amazing. I didn’t have to get put on bed rest and everything with the twins is going great so far. I’ve started to get a little morning sickness but it’s not too horrible. We’ve learned to keep saltines and ginger ale by the bed for when I wake up and it helps. Certain smells still turn my stomach, but that’s about the extent of my morning sickness. Annabell hates me because hers was so bad. I just laugh it off. In two more months we’ll be able to find out what we’re having. Zach and I are honestly on the fence about knowing now or waiting. We want to do a gender reveal at some point, but I kind of also want to know the day we go in. So, we’re going to compromise. Annabell will be going with us to the appointment and she’ll get the information sealed in an envelope. Within a week or two, she’ll have a gender reveal party for us and we’ll find out when everyone else does.

Dr. Copeland has seen me twice more since I was released from the hospital. My feet healed with almost no scarring at all. I can walk again and don’t have to worry about them getting infected because the wounds have all closed and healed. My ribs are almost completely healed as well. Every now and then I get a twinge of pain if I move a certain way too fast, but other than that I can move around just fine and breathe properly again. Other than a small scar on my face, I have no lingering scars from what Conrad did to me. Yeah, I still have nightmares every now and then, but I’m working with a counselor and I hope those will stop after the trial that’s coming up.

I’ve been spending my time relaxing and working on the books for the club. In the last month I’m almost completely caught up with inputting everything into the new programs that were installed on my computer. Once I get that taken care of, I’ll be able to do this once a week and have the rest of the time to worry about my family and helping out the club where I’m needed. It will be a relief to be out of this room and not feel horrible because this work should’ve been completed a while ago. Vault and Zach keep assuring me that they’re not mad or upset about me not being done yet, but I still feel as if I’m letting them down. I’m letting myself down. I’ll get it done soon and everything will go the way it should.

This week has been horrible for me. I have to testify against Conrad and the trial starts this week. Tomorrow is my day on the stand and I’m nervous as hell to see the fucker in the courtroom. Yes, I know he won’t be able to get close to me, but things happen in the blink of an eye. I know he’s pissed as fuck about me being married to Valor and he now knows I’m pregnant. Conrad isn’t going to be happy and will want to get some kind of revenge on me. It won’t happen, but that doesn’t mean I don’t dream about him getting his hands on a gun or something and taking me out in the middle of the courtroom. Zach knows everything and he stays up with me when I have nightmares and can’t get back to sleep. He’s found inventive ways to help exhaust me and I appreciate every attempt he makes at helping me. My husband has definitely learned my body over the last month and I’ve learned his in return.

The girls will not be going to the courthouse with us. They’re not needed to testify since they weren’t taken by Conrad and we don’t want them around if they don’t have to be there. Court will be with them at school because we do still have a security detail on them and the school doesn’t mind after everything our family has been through. Zach, Vault, and Annabell will be in the courtroom with me while Shy, Slim, Kinsliegh, and Rayven come down to sit with Cyrus and Slim comes to the courthouse with us. He wasn’t about to let me testify without him being there and he’ll never know what it means to me or the girls. Every single day the men and women of this club show me they love our family and expect nothing in return. I’ve never had such a large family or dreamed we’d be lucky enough to have people like them in our lives. I will never take them for granted or forget a single thing they’ve done to help my sisters and me out along the way.

For now, I’m just trying to get through each day and not focus on the day I have to go to court and see Conrad and his father. So far, from what Zach and Vault have explained to us all, the trial isn’t looking good for them and they’ve lost their shit so many times the judge is ready to throw them in contempt of court. I can’t wait to take the stand and see how they react because I know Conrad will at the very least. He’s going to make an ass of himself in front of everyone and I can’t wait to watch it all play out. I think it’s honestly the only reason I’m not losing my shit more than I have been. Plus, no one’s leaving me alone and it truly does make a difference. Even Court spends every minute he can with us and keeps us all entertained and laughing. I really hope he chooses to stay here and not go back with the rest of the Nomads. Zach will be lost without his best friend and I think Court will be just as lost.

Waking up this morning, I take a few minutes to just lay in bed and not move a muscle. Today is the day I’ve been both waiting for and dreading all at the same time. I have to get up and get ready to head to the courthouse to testify against Conrad. I’m alone in the bed and know Zach got up with the girls and let me sleep because I had a hard time sleeping last night. It not only took me forever to fall asleep, but then I woke up several times from nightmares. I feel worse this morning than I did before going to bed with my husband last night. Now, Zach’s already up after not getting hardly any sleep and I feel horrible because he should still be sleeping.

Sitting up, I grab the bottle of ginger ale next to me and take a small sip before opening up the pack of saltines. I nibble on a few crackers and slowly sip my soda before even thinking about getting out of bed. When I feel ready, I make my way to the bathroom to take care of my morning routine and shower so I can get ready for the day. I’ve gotten all of my medical records from the hospital when I was taken there and they were handed over to the state to use as evidence against Conrad. Including my pregnancy despite there being nothing wrong with our twins. I’ve met with the lawyers to go over some sample questions and for them to explain to me what would happen during my testimony. Including that Conrad’s lawyers would try to make the jury question everything I say and twist my words to get me flustered so Conrad can get out of the charges against him. I’m not going to let them get to me that way though. Conrad, his father, and everyone else deserve to rot in prison for the heinous acts they’ve committed against others and will continue to do so if they’re left free.

Coming out of the bathroom, I find Zach sitting on the edge of the bed with a tray of food next to him. He offers me a smile and holds out his arms. I walk straight to him and let him hold me tight. Wrapping my arms around him, we hold one another tight and don’t say a word. Nothing needs to be said right now because we both know the outcome of my testimony will either help put the fuckers in prison or they’ll find some way to walk away because of their connections. Though, I guess they’re supposedly all arrested and can no longer help the Riley family at all. We can only hope that’s what happens and they finally serve time for the crimes they’ve committed over so many years.

“Are you ready for this, Love?” Zach finally asks me when I pull away and sit down next to him on the bed so I can eat the amazing breakfast he made for me.

“I’m as ready as I can be. I mean, there’s no way I’ll ever be able to see him and not be upset or afraid. But, I can do this if it means they’re all put away and can no longer hurt anyone ever again, then I’m gonna do it. This is bigger than just the girls and me, Zach. If I can help save even one person, then I’ll face my fears and say my truth for anyone to hear. No, I don’t want to share my story, but again, I’ll do it because I know so many others have had it so much worse than what happened to me,” I answer him as honestly as I can because it’s the truth and he deserves nothing less than the truth from me.

Zach sits with me as I eat my breakfast before getting dressed. I brush out my hair and put it up the best I can so I look professional. Today I’m wearing a pair of black dress pants that cover the small bump I’m starting to show where our twins rest comfortably. I’ve paired it with a light purple button-down shirt. Instead of wearing a pair of heels as I normally would, today I’ve got on a pair of ballet flats so I’m comfortable and don’t trip and get hurt. Zach is dressed in a pair of new jeans with a black button-down shirt covering his torso. He’s rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, showing off his forearms and the tattoos covering his skin. I don’t know what it is about him wearing his shirt that way, but it’s sexy as fuck if you ask me.

Together, we walk into the living room of our house where Slim, Vault, Playboy, and Shy are waiting for us. I thought Shy was going to stay here with Annabell, but she looks prepared to go to the courthouse with us. This doesn’t make any sense.

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