Page 32 of Regret

My feet are killing me and have been cut open with the rocks and dirt I’ve walked on as I make my way toward the light that’s getting brighter and filling the tunnel even more. I’m definitely not imagining this and my hope continues to be that this will be my way out. I almost want to run toward the light, but my feet won’t allow me to. They hurt so damn much and I’m limping so bad that my entire body hurts even more than before. Even my head is pounding worse than when I was locked in that bedroom. I’m covered in sweat and my entire body is shaking so bad my teeth are rattling in my head. Every part of my body feels as if it’s about to seize up and not allow me to continue moving forward. It’s nothing I’ve ever felt before and I don’t ever want to experience it again once I’m away from this fucking asshole.

It feels as if forever passes as I keep my focus on the light getting closer and closer to me. This part of the tunnel is heating up and it does nothing to take away the chill filling my bones. I don’t honestly feel as if I’ll ever be warm again after being kidnapped and held against my will by an asshole who wants to sell me. I’ve had so many nightmares of this very thing happening and it’s become my reality. I’m ready to collapse and the thought of dying in this tunnel actually fills me despite how hard I try to hold onto the hope that filled me when I first saw the light. Again, my mind starts playing memories of my family on a loop and it gives me reason to smile and let the hope build back up once more.

Finally, I reach the end of the tunnel. Carefully stepping out from the darkness, I lean as close to the rocks as I can. I blink my eyes rapidly a few times to clear them so I can look around and try to determine where I am. When everything finally comes into focus, I realize I’m in the forest on the other side of the field. I’m farther from the house than I anticipated as I look back when I hear Conrad hollering at the top of his lungs. He’s realized I’m gone and has no clue where I’ve disappeared to. Taking the deepest breath I can manage, I quickly start making my way through the trees and further away from the house where Conrad is still hollering my name.

I use every tree I can find to keep myself moving forward and standing on my feet. I’m swaying more than I am moving forward at this point and I honestly don’t know if this is going to make Conrad catch up to me. Still I move forward and head straight for the trees that lead me further away from the house and Conrad.

Again, it feels like forever passes me before I start to see signs of a road. Carefully, I move closer to the edge of the road while still remaining hidden by the trees as the sun starts to set and darkness starts to take hold once again. It doesn’t escape my notice that I’m still as naked as the day I was born and there is nothing I can do to change that fact. There were no clothes in the house and I wasn’t about to remain inside those walls a second longer than necessary while waiting for Conrad to catch me awake and start breaking me. My only option was to escape through the tunnel naked and hope I don’t find a fate worse than what I was already suffering.

It feels as if I’ve walked hundreds of miles away from Conrad. My body is starting to shut down and I know I need to get some help before I pass out in the woods and die from the weather or someone else finding me. Hell, Conrad could still find me. I know he’s been up and down this road as I’ve seen the same car making several passes going way under the speed limit. That’s when I hide the most because it can only be Conrad since the same car is passing repeatedly and driving so slow down the road I’m walking near.

Plus, I have to remember that his father is in Pine View and any of the other cars passing by me could be him. I’ve never seen his father and don’t have any clue what he’d be driving. Or riding in since he’s a governor. I don’t give a fuck one way or another as I try to keep my focus on remaining on my feet and not collapsing as my body is desperate to do.

Taking a risk, I make my way closer to the road as I see a truck making its way down the road toward me. I know this isn’t the same vehicle that’s been driving up and down the road because that was a car and I could hardly hear the engine until it got right up on me. This truck is large and loud as I make myself visible to the driver of the truck and heading my way. I get as close to the road as possible and pray this person stops because I can’t go on further. My body is giving up and I feel it happening with every passing second. My vision starts to black out as I hear brakes squealing as the person slams them on to stop instead of running me over. I’m just a little closer to the road than I anticipated.

“Miss, are you okay? Can I help you?” a man’s voice fills the silent night air around me.

Just as I go to answer him, I feel my body giving up and I start to fall toward the road. My mind is blank and I don’t feel anything or know if this person saves me or leaves me to die on the side of the road. The only thing I see is my family smiling but I’m not with them. It’s just Zach, Ava, Miracle, and Chloe. I certainly hope this isn’t what my future will hold and that I’m about to leave them because of Conrad and what he’s done to me.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Valor

TWENTY-FOUR HOURS HAVE passed since Savannah was taken from the compound and no one can get a location on her. Her rings are burning a hole in my pocket as I pace the common room waiting for any new piece of information. Fox, Kingston, and Buzz have been looking through everything they can think of to find out where the piece of shit has my wife. Fox is also looking into Buzz without Buzz’ knowledge. So far, he hasn’t found anything to suggest he’s being deceptive about helping Conrad or anyone else and going against the club. I really hope that’s true and I will apologize to Buzz if it is. At this point, nothing would honestly surprise me though. Anyway, I haven’t slept, eaten, or done anything that involves more than pacing or sitting in the common room.

Shy and Annabell have been staying with my daughters so I can focus on getting Savannah back. She’s the heart and soul of our family and we need to get her back. I’ve checked on them a few times since they all found out about their sister. I’m not going to abandon them despite the pain and rage filling me. They need me just as much as my wife needs me. Ava did come down and sit with me for a while. We didn’t talk as I held her while she cried. My girl is so fucking strong, but this is killing all of us. Savannah is always there for us and we can’t do anything to bring her home. Chloe and Miracle have remained in the bedroom and won’t let anyone but Shy and Annabell in with them. Killer, Playboy, Slim, Chrome, and Dime have been standing outside of their room making sure no one gets close. The kids have made sure they get food, drinks, and snacks delivered to the room so they’re not hungry or going without anything. They’ve even taken up a few games for the girls to play so they can get their minds off of Savannah not being here with us. That almost got a smile out of me.

Martin, Red, Kim, and Gwen went up to the house and got everything cleaned up. I didn’t want anyone in there to see the mess that was made, but they assured me they would get it all cleaned up before Savannah was brought home. That if the girls needed something, they wouldn’t be ambushed by walking into a house that was trashed when Savannah was taken from us. I couldn’t argue with that logic and made sure the alarm system was off so they could get in there. It took them hours to go through everything. Most of it had to be thrown away because there was no fixing it. The guys did all the heavy lifting while Kim and Gwen did the cleaning. They also packed bags for the girls so they’d have more clothes and things to do here at the clubhouse. I can’t thank them enough for doing it because the thought never crossed my mind to get more stuff from the house for my daughters.

“Valor, you need to stop the pacin’,” Court says to me as he rubs a hand down his face and leans back in his chair with a frown on his face as his eyes widen so he doesn’t fall asleep.

“I can’t, Court. My wife is out there somewhere and no one knows where the fuck she is. We still can’t be a hundred percent sure Conrad is the one who took her. I can’t believe someone was able to bypass my fuckin’ security system and no one can find out anything about the person who was able to get on the compound and away again with Savannah.

Fox has been pulling up every single camera footage he can find and been combing through it for hours now. So far, nothing has shown a car coming or going from the compound. He told me the last time I checked in with him that he was working his way from the edge of town back in for some reason. I’m not sure what sense that makes when we have no clue what fucking car this asshole is driving. Fox is good at what he does so I’m sure he has a reason for it and it’s nothing I’m going to question because I know enough to set up security systems but not much more than that.

“I know she is, Valor. We’re gonna get her back. Fox and Kingston will fuckin’ find somethin’ and make sure we know what’s goin’ on. Fox told us he’d send Kingston out the second they found a trace of the car and show us the footage. I’m not sure what Buzz is lookin’ into, but he won’t pull anythin’ if he’s guilty with Kingston sittin’ right next to him. He gave Buzz some kind of excuse about why Kingston needed to share a desk with him. Kingston can catch shit faster than Fox these days and can catch a keystroke even if he looks like he’s watchin’ somethin’ else,” Court reminds me, his voice barely breaking through the fog as thoughts of what’s being done to my wife right now fills my mind and rage consumes me even more than before because I can’t help her.

“I know all that shit, Court. It doesn’t change the fact that someone has Savannah. They’re probably hurtin’ her and gettin’ her ready to send to some other fuck who bought her thinkin’ I’d let it go. I won’t ever stop searchin’ for my wife and I will make sure everyone who has had a hand in her bein’ taken burns along with everyone they love or care about. I’m not one for takin’ out women or kids, but these fuckers don’t play the same way. One way or another, without hurtin’ someone else innocent, I will make everyone pay,” I promise my best friend as he stands from the chair he’s been sitting in for hours now.

Court hasn’t left my side since we got out of church the second time. Since no one could find her in the hour my brother gave us to find any information, we couldn’t put a plan in place. The one thing he did say is that I’m not to be out searching for my wife even with Court and others at my side. My head wouldn’t be in the ride and he refuses to have me end up in the hospital because I’m lost in thought or going off the rails with the slightest hint of finding Savannah. So, I’m grounded for now as everyone else is out searching. Including Vault. He promised me before leaving the clubhouse that he will do everything to bring his sister-in-law home where she belongs and that we’ll all be there for her when she gets back.

“Valor, I need to tell you something,” Shy says, walking up to me as I continue pacing in the common room.

I stop and look at her as she twists her hands together and looks at the floor between us. The need to know what information she has is strong, but I refrain from yelling at her to talk. Shy needs to figure this shit out and speak in her own time as my heart starts beating wildly in my chest and Court comes to stand at my side.

“What’s goin’ on Shy?” Court asks after a few minutes pass and she finally looks up at me.

“Savannah found out that she’s pregnant. She was waiting for the right time to tell you, but couldn’t find one with everything going on. I’m the only one who knows and I’ve been debating telling you because I didn’t want to betray her trust. So many people have betrayed her throughout her life and I didn’t want to be another name added to the list,” Shy finally says, dropping a bomb on me as I stand completely still and look down at her.

“You’re sure she’s pregnant? She took a test or went to the doctor to make sure?” I ask her, barely able to find my voice as the risk to my wife and unborn baby just went up even higher.

“She took five tests. They’re still in the garbage in your bathroom and one is hidden in the bathroom somewhere. She didn’t tell me where it was and I didn’t ask. I think she wanted to plan something cute to tell you, but this situation with Conrad was really messing with her head as you know. I’m sorry I didn’t come forward sooner, Valor,” Shy says, tears filling her eyes as I pull her into my arms and hug her.

“You did what you thought was best, Shy. I can’t be mad about that. I know Savannah and the girls have been betrayed repeatedly and I appreciate you holdin’ her secret until now. I’ll make sure she doesn’t get upset with you. It’s important that we know this information for when we find her,” I assure Shy as she continues to cry and Slim makes his way over to us and takes her from my arms.

“What’s goin’ on over here?” he asks, looking between Shy and me with concern filling his face as he finally rests his eyes on me.

“Savannah’s pregnant. Shy didn’t want to betray her trust after everythin’ my wife has been through over the years. I’m not mad she waited this long to tell me. I want Savannah to continue trustin’ Shy and the ol’ ladies. We need to make sure everyone knows she’s pregnant in case they find her before I can get to her side. I don’t want somethin’ to happen to her or the baby if we can prevent it by takin’ extra precaution,” I answer him as shock fills his face followed quickly by rage with the thought of Savannah being pregnant and in someone else’s hands.

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