Page 15 of Regret

“Anyway, then she told me her friend was Conrad. Zach, she said he knows where we are and he’s gonna be coming for us. The girls and I aren’t safe here. I need to figure out how he found us since we weren’t followed here and then move away. I’m not going to bring trouble to the club after everything you’ve told me. The girls and I have enough money to disappear and hide out for as long as necessary. You guys can forget all about us and we’ll just move on like we did so long ago,” I state, looking at all the men in the room with me as panic fills me and I start to make mental lists of everything that has to be done so the girls and I can leave here.

“You’re not leavin’, Love. I told you I’d protect the girls and you, that’s what I’m gonna do. We don’t give a fuck about Conrad or what he plans on doin’. He can come at us with all of his father’s power and we still won’t give a fuck. The girls are happy here and you don’t need to make them upset by this shit. Let them be happy and have a home here with me. We’ll get this shit taken care of and you won’t have to worry about Conrad for much longer. Fox, Kingston, and Buzz are workin’ around the clock to find enough evidence to burn Conrad, his father, and everyone else tied to them. You’re the safest here and deep down you know that,” Zach says, his voice with a hard edge to it as he looks down at me and holds me even tighter. His embrace is so tight I can hardly breathe but I don’t care.

“We’re gonna extend our stay here, Vault. If you don’t mind, I wanna be here to help the girls and I know Shy and Gwen aren’t gonna wanna leave Savannah alone when she needs them here with her,” Slim says, giving me a soft smile as Killer steps up next to him.

“I agree. The rest of the guys can head home if they want to, but I’m not leavin’ ya, Savannah. You wouldn’t leave my family if the situation was reversed and we’re not gonna leave ya when you need us the most,” he says, showing the softer side of himself that not many others get to see for any reason.

“Thank you. I think, um, I think I just need some time to process this. And to figure out how to tell the girls what I’ve done. Zach, will you be with me when I tell them?” I ask, turning my attention back to him as he nods his head in response and I bury my head in his chest once again.

I’m not sure what else is said in Vault’s office before Zach stands with me still in his arms and leaves the room. He doesn’t take me home, but to his room here. Without putting me down, he manages to unlock the door and get us inside, closing and locking the world away from us. Zach puts me in his bed and removes my shoes before covering me up and climbing in bed next to me after removing his cut and boots. Neither one of us says a word as sleep claims me. The only reason I even fall asleep is because pure exhaustion doesn’t give me a choice in the matter. I’m haunted by what I’ve just done to my mother and wake up screaming a few times with tears rolling down my face as Zach comforts me and helps me relax once again until he leaves to get the girls from school. Gwen wakes up with me the next time, and I don’t allow myself to go back to sleep and continue having nightmares of my mother and Conrad taking the girls away from me.

Chapter Eleven

Valor

WATCHING MY LOVE lose her shit after killing her mother is not something I ever want to experience again. Savannah usually does her best to stay strong and not sink deep into herself no matter what’s going on in her life. She wants to be strong and stable for her sisters and there’s no way this isn’t going to affect her more than she’ll ever realize. We all react differently to our first kill and my girl is no different. Savannah didn’t mean for this to happen which makes it even worse. Honestly, I don’t believe that Savannah pushed her mother hard enough to kill her. We’ll have to figure things out before we get rid of the body because I don’t want my girl to have this on her conscience the rest of her life if this wasn’t her fault. Anyway, she’s currently sleeping, but it's filled with nightmares and she’s not actually getting any rest. This shit is gonna be so hard and there’s only so much I can do to help her through it.

Taking my cut and tee-shirt off, I climbed in bed with her so I would be somewhat comfortable. Savannah curled up against me the second I was in bed with her and I’m not gonna move away from her. My girl needs to rest and I’m gonna make sure she does the best she can after what just took place. I know once the girls find out what happened today, Savannah will be with them and if it means staying up all night long to take care of her sister, that’s what she’ll do. I’ve been there and watched her stay up all night long for one of the girls and she didn’t hesitate to do so. She will lose sleep every day of the week if it means her sisters can rest while she watches over them. And I’m gonna do the same for her.

Pulling out my phone, I send a message to Vault letting him know we need to look into the security footage and find out what really happened to make Savannah’s mother die. If it was from hitting her head on the column outside the gate, then it was nothing more than an accident. With Savannah telling us that Conrad knows where my girls are, I’m not sure something more didn’t take place and Savannah didn’t see or hear anything. Martin didn’t see or hear anything based on what he told us in the office. That doesn’t mean it’s not true. A sniper could’ve taken a shot at the woman and hit her at the same time she fell against the column making everyone assume that’s what killed her. It would be hard to time everything perfectly, but not impossible.

Me: I want footage gone through and someone to look at the body before anything happens. I don’t think Savannah is the one who killed her mother. Can someone take care of that for me while I stay with her?

I’m not sure what my brother’s doing right now, so I put my phone on my chest after making sure it’s on vibrate and won’t wake Savannah up. No, she’s not really sleeping with the nightmares, but I’d rather keep her out of things for as long as possible so she’s not getting lost in her head with all the thoughts filling her. I’m sure she’s still gonna try to run and that’s not something I’ll allow to happen. Savannah is gonna be in fight or flight mode and her first instinct is gonna be to run so no one takes the girls from her. As I’m thinking about the best way to help Savannah through this, my phone vibrates with a notification.

Vault: Already got the guys on it. Kingston is going through the footage now. Fox and Buzz are trying to find a connection between Conrad and the mother. Court is down with the body now looking everything over. We got this. You worry about Savannah and be there for her and the girls.

Me: She’s sleeping now. Not leaving her side for any reason. Might need someone to go get the girls from school. Savannah is gonna want them here when she wakes up.

Vault: Gonna have Slim and Shy go get them now. I called the school since Savannah put you and me down as emergency contacts. We’ll keep the girls down here until Savannah wakes up. Ol’ ladies are already cooking up a feast for everyone here. No one’s leaving and they’ll stay here for a while until we know what’s going on. Savannah is family and they’re here for her. She has an army at her back and she deserves nothing less.

Me: Thank you, Vault. I’ll make sure Savannah knows everyone is here for her. Right now, I just want her to rest and get a break from the thoughts running through her mind. Just gonna hold her for now until she tells me what she needs.

Vault: You worry about your girls and we’ll worry about everything else. We got your back, brother.

Setting my phone down on the nightstand at my side, I put all of my focus back on Savannah as she sleeps. She’s got a leg thrown over mine with her hand resting on my stomach. Her face is buried in my chest causing goosebumps to break out across my body as her hot breath fans across my skin. Savannah’s hair is spread out around the back of her head, getting a little longer than she typically keeps it. Running my fingers through the strands, I relax the best I can and just wait for my girl to wake up. If we’re in this bed the rest of the day, I really don’t give a fuck. Vault will make sure I’m updated as soon as he knows something and no one will disturb Savannah as she starts to twist and turn with another nightmare.

“No!” she screams, digging her nails into my stomach as her entire body tightens from the hold her nightmare has on her.

“Love, I’ve got you,” I tell her gently, not wanting to scare her awake as I tighten my arms around her in comfort. “It’s just a nightmare, Savannah. You’re okay. I’m not lettin’ you go.”

“Zach,” she cries in her sleep as the first tear hits my chest and shatters my heart. “Don’t leave me, Zach.”

I know she’s dreaming and doesn’t even realize I’m holding her right now. To think that she’s dreaming of me leaving her breaks something deep in my soul. I have left her and made her feel as if she was my second choice. I’m not ever gonna leave my girl again. I don’t care what happens moving forward, I’m going to be at her side and make sure Savannah knows I’ll always be there for her and the girls. I run my fingers up and down Savannah’s arm as she finally starts to settle down again and calm down. I don’t know what I can do to take these nightmares from her, but I’ll do whatever I can. Even if it means I go without sleep or relaxing to be there for her so she can sleep peacefully.

Savannah is finally starting to wake up. Her entire body is strung tight as she blinks her eyes open and looks up at me. My girl’s skin is more pale than normal and her mouth is set in a grim line. The sparkle in her eyes has almost vanished completely and it’s going to take a while before it comes back. I promise myself that one way or another I’ll get it to come back because I’m not going to allow her to lose herself to this accident.

“Love, how are you doin’?” I ask her, knowing it’s a stupid fucking question, but needing to know where her head is.

“I don’t know, Zach. Is she really dead? Did I kill my mother?” she questions me, tears filling her eyes as she brings her entire body closer to mine and I wrap my arms around her.

“I don’t know, Love. Court and the other guys are lookin’ into shit right now. I haven’t heard anythin’ back yet. I’ve been in here with you so you weren’t alone. Slim and Shy got the girls from school. They don’t know what happened, just that you wanted them home. If you don’t want to tell them, you don’t have to. I think we should wait until the guys find out what happened outside before you talk to them though,” I tell her honestly as she moves her body until she can look up at me as I talk to her.

“They have to know what happened one way or another, Zach. I can’t keep this from them. We’ve all been haunted by what she did to us for years and part of me feels as if it’s finally over with. I know that’s how the girls will feel about everything. But, I can’t help the part of me that feels horrible for killing her. And that this is just getting started. She knows Conrad somehow and said he knows where I am. I think I already told you that, but I can’t remember. Everything is a blur from the second I realized my mother was at the gate until right now,” she says, her voice wavering with emotion as it fills her once again and I want to take everything away from her so she’s happy and living her best life.

“I know, Love. I don’t believe this is over with either. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you and the girls are safe. Conrad will never get close to you if I can help it,” I promise her, moving one of my hands so I can run my fingers through her hair again.

“I know. I’d like to go see if the guys found anything and talk to the girls,” Savannah says, sitting up in bed and turning to look at me.

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