Page 14 of Regret

“I don’t give a fuck what you say. You assholes are holding my daughters against their will and I will get them out of there without your help if that’s what it takes,” she threatens him, a smirk on her face as if she’s going to win this.

“Martin, open the gate enough for me to get through,” I tell him, letting them both know I’ve heard at least part of the conversation while locking my eyes on my mother as she smiles big like she’s won. “I’m not coming with you, mother. Or should I call you Nancy. You’re not my mother and you’re sure as fuck not a mother to Ava, Miracle, and Chloe.”

“Savannah, don’t be like that. I’ve missed my girls,” she says, fake tears filling her eyes as she watches Martin go to the gatehouse and open the door just enough for me to get through and block my mother from coming inside.

“You haven’t missed us at all,” I state, stepping forward enough to make sure she knows she’s not getting her way. “The entire time we were with you, you had a constant rotation of men through the door of the house you kept us in. You didn’t give a fuck that they were looking at us like we were their next meal and wouldn’t have done shit to protect us against them. If anything, you would’ve been pissed at us for luring them away from you when we were little fucking girls. None of us have seen you in years. And that’s your fault. You’re the one who sold four girls into human trafficking so you could get high. Is that when you were missing us?”

“Now you listen here, Savannah. I am your mother whether you acknowledge that or not. You girls will be coming home with me where you belong,” she states, reaching out to grab my arm like she’s going to drag me away.

I smack her hand away from me and glare at the woman who gave birth to me.

“No, we’re not. You’re not even the mother of the girls any longer. They’re mine. I’ve adopted them and have all the necessary paperwork to prove that. You couldn’t bother to show up to the court date so the judge ruled in my favor. You have no claim to any of us and we’re not going anywhere with you. You’re the one who did this shit and now you can live with the consequences of your actions,” I tell her, hate and years of pain filling my voice as she looks at me with hate filling her eyes. “You sold us for a couple bags of drugs and we were saved by a group of men that wanted nothing in return from us. If you want us in your house, it’s for one reason or another. What, are you gonna start pimping us out to make sure you get all the drugs and alcohol you could ever want?”

My mother stares at me with vacant eyes. At one point, she was a beautiful woman and the kind of mom most kids dream of. One second changed our lives and my sisters and I were the ones to suffer more than our mother because she chose to drown herself with drugs and alcohol. She’s not anyone I’ll ever associate with again because all she wants is something from us. And I’m not willing to have my girls pay the price she wants them to pay.

“How could you ever say that to me, Savannah? I raised you better than that,” she asks, outrage filling her voice as she tries to make herself look good when she’s a horrible person.

“No, you didn’t. I saw everything you did and remember every word you spewed at me when I was growing up. You’re fucking delusional if you think you raised me at all. After Dad, you checked out and didn’t give a fuck about the girls and me. None of us need you and we won’t let you torment us for your own selfish gain,” I state, watching her closely for any move she makes toward me so I can stay the hell away from her.

“You think you’re so much better than me. Your father spoiled you rotten and continues to do so now. The money he gave you girls belongs to me and you’re gonna give it to me. All of it. I don’t give a fuck how much you’ve spent, you’ll find a way to replace it. Yeah, I know all about the money from a friend. He says you have millions and it’s all mine. I was his wife and stayed home with you brats while he did what he wanted to do,” my mother shrieks, finally getting to the real reason she’s here to get us now. “I think you know my friend. His name is Conrad and he’s really interested in you and the girls. Something about you getting away from him and he’s going to make you pay for that. He knows where you are. It seems you weren’t as careful as you thought you were. Or someone really wants you taken out.”

I almost collapse to the ground at my mother’s feet with that name coming from her mouth. Every inch of my body is trembling in fear as she glares at me and watches my reaction to her words. If there’s one thing I can say about the monster standing in front of me, it’s that she knows how to be dramatic and always gets her point across in the harshest way possible.

“You’re not getting our money. There’s a reason our dad left us the money and not you. I suggest you crawl back into whatever hole you escaped from and never return here again. Conrad won’t ever get close to me again. The men here will do everything they can to prevent that from happening,” I tell her, watching as she reaches out to grab my arm once again with a large smile on her face.

I don’t hesitate to push her away from me. My mother stumbles and falls back into the cement pillar at the edge of the gate. Her head slams into it from the way she stumbles because I know I didn’t push her that hard. There’s no point in pushing her away from me hard because she’s so unsteady and high out of her mind right now. That’s the only way she had the balls to show up at the clubhouse of a motorcycle club. I don’t even know why she’s in Pine View. We’re not from here and there’s no reason for her to be in this city at all. She’s got a house in our hometown that my dad made sure was paid for completely if anything ever happened to him. He had money and it was left to us instead of her. My dad wasn’t a stupid man and probably knew my mother would fall apart if something happened to him. So he made sure we were taken care of in a way she couldn’t touch.

The girls and I haven’t touched the money we were left from our dad. I want them to use it for college and starting their lives once they’re old enough to move out. I’m saving mine in case they need it for something. Plus, if I have kids in the future, I want to make sure they’ll be taken care of and I won’t have to struggle financially and make them go without just because I blew through the money I was given or let my mother get her hands on it because she’s selfish.

Finally, I snap out of the fog filling my mind and look down at my mother. A pool of blood is slowly seeping out from her head, surrounding her on the pavement and soaking the grass and dirt behind her. I drop down to my knees and reach out to make sure she’s okay. Even if I hate my mother and want nothing to do with her, it doesn’t mean I want anything to happen to her. If anything, I want her to get the help she desperately needs and come back to us as the mom I knew before our lives turned to shit.

Martin stops me from touching her as he does it instead. I watch as he tries to find a pulse in her neck for what feels like an eternity. Finally, he looks up at me and shakes his head as I vaguely hear footsteps running up on me from behind. In seconds, I’m surrounded by men as they all look down at the three of us.

“What happened here?” Vault asks, concern filling his voice as he looks at me with questions in his eyes.

“Um, I . . .,” I start, not finding the words to say what I’ve done.

I’m no better than my mother. The woman I just killed when I pushed her away from me. If I had remained inside the gate and left it closed, this wouldn’t have happened. Instead, I had to get close to her so I could prove I’m better than she ever was. The first sign of trouble and she turned to drugs to dull her senses. I’ve been fighting my entire life and still haven’t turned to that shit. I might think I’m better than she is, but it’s for that reason and nothing more. She’s just using what happened to my dad as an excuse for her addiction because it’s who she’s always been deep down and I can’t do anything to help her with that. No one can. Especially now.

“Love, come on. Let’s get you away from here,” Zach says, lifting me in his arms and carrying me from the gate of the compound.

I know others are with him, but I bury my head in his chest as the tears start to roll down my face. How can I continue raising my sisters knowing that I killed our mother today? They’ll hate me and think I’m worse than she is. Not to mention the fact that Conrad knows where we are. He’s going to come for me and I won’t survive another attack from him. I already know that’s his end goal though. He wants to eliminate me because I stood up against him and then the guys from the club beat the shit out of him. No one’s ever fought back against him and it fills him with rage. I’ve seen it happen way too many times over the years that I don’t need to know anything about Conrad to tell that’s the kind of man he is.

When I look up once Valor has stopped moving, I find myself in Vault’s office, still in Zach’s arms as Vault takes his seat at his desk and a few others fill the room with us. Slim, Killer, Playboy, and Court are in the office making it feel even smaller than ever with so many large men surrounding me. Zach doesn’t let go of me at all and he doesn’t force me to talk as the door opens and someone else enters the office.

“Martin, why don’t you tell us what happened here today?” Vault asks his Prospect as I curl up tighter in Zach’s arms.

“I was on gate duty when this woman came up and thought I was just gonna let her inside the compound. Told me her daughters were here and they asked her to come see them since it had been so long that they’ve been together. I refused to open the gate and that’s when she got mean. Told me she was gonna call the cops because we’d kidnapped the girls and were holdin’ them against their will. That’s when Savannah made herself known and took over dealin’ with the woman,” Martin says, his voice even and calm as I continue to spiral out of control because I’m a fucking monster.

“Thank you, Martin. Go back out and help the guys deal with everythin’,” Vault says and no one else moves or speaks until he leaves the room. “Sweetheart, gonna need you to tell us what happened.”

Looking up, I find Vault’s eyes on me. They’re soft as he waits patiently for me to compose myself enough to speak.

“I’m a monster. No better than she is,” the words tumble from my mouth before I can stop them.

“The fuck?” Zach barks, making me jump in his arms as anger radiates from him. “You’re not a monster, Love. What happened outside was nothin’ more than a horrible accident. You would never set out to intentionally hurt your mother or anyone else. You’ve gone above and beyond to take care of your sisters and everyone else around you. Can you tell us what happened, Love?”

“It’s as Martin said. She started going off on him and I couldn’t let her keep going. Especially when she said she was gonna call the cops and have them come here. So, I told her the hard truth that the girls are no longer hers and none of us were going anywhere with her. She said it was time for us to come home and all that kind of shit. What it boils down to is she found out about the money our dad left us when he died. Not only did he pay off the house so we’d always have a home, but he came from money and had a life insurance policy because he was in the military. All the money was split up between the girls and me. It’s all been sitting in bank accounts since the day it was turned over to us, collecting interest. I’m not even sure how much is in the accounts at this point. What I do know is it’s in the millions somewhere.