Page 12 of Regret

“Come on, Love. I’ll take the girls and you up to my room. We’ll get them settled in and you can get some rest. How are you feeling?” Valor asks me as he takes my hand and calls for my sisters to follow behind us.

“I’m exhausted and sore. I’ve got aches where I didn’t know my body could hurt. This shit sucks,” I answer him honestly, not bothering to pull my hand out of his as the rest of the adults try to gather up their kids so we can all get some sleep now that we’re here and not in vehicles.

Thankfully nothing happened on our way to Pine View. Killer and Stryker made sure we weren’t followed by anyone so Conrad should have no clue that I’ve left Benton Falls with the girls. We even left my car at the house for now. Eventually I’ll get it back, but Valor doesn’t want me going anywhere without him right now because we have no clue if Conrad is going to find me or what he’ll do the next time he gets close enough to put his hands on me. I think it’s time for me to start working out and practicing my self-defense again. When Conrad came at me, I forgot all the lessons I was taught and kind of froze and did nothing but try to get away from him. I don’t ever want to do that shit again because if my sisters had been with me, I wouldn’t have been able to protect them at all.

The girls follow us up to the second floor and Valor leads us down the hall until we’re almost at the very end.

“That room at the end is Annabell and Vault. This room is empty,” he says, pointing to the first door after Vault and Annabell’s room. “This is my room. I’ve got a bathroom in there so you don’t have to worry about goin’ anywhere else for a shower or to use the bathroom.”

Valor pulls out his keys and unlocks his door. Stepping back, he lets us enter the space before him and I take it all in. He’s got a large bed on the wall across from the door that’s made as if he hasn’t slept in it even before he left to come see us in Benton Falls. To the left of the bed there’s a desk covered in paperwork that he quickly gathers and places in a drawer of the desk so we can’t see what it is. At the end of the bed is his dresser with a TV mounted on the wall above it. A closet door sits partially open on the side of the dresser. Next to the bed is a door standing open and even with the lights off, I can tell it’s the bathroom. A couch sits under the window in his room. There’s not much in here, but it’s enough for my sisters and me.

“I’m gonna grab the suitcases from downstairs. You girls take a shower if you want and get ready for bed. I’m gonna be on the couch in here. The bed should be big enough for all of you to sleep in. If not, I can see if we have an extra air mattress or somethin’,” Valor says, shocking me because I thought he was talking about sleeping on a couch in the common room instead of one in here with us.

“Okay. Thank you, Valor,” I tell him, not bothering to fight this because Valor will win since I know there won’t be enough room for him to sleep in the common room with everyone from Benton Falls here.

Valor leaves us alone and I let my sisters take quick showers before me. By the time Ava is done with her shower, Valor is back with the suitcases and I take hers into the bathroom so she can get changed into her pajamas and let Chloe go in after her. Ava climbs into bed and is asleep before her head even hits the pillow. The rest of my sisters are the same as they quickly shower to wash the day off before putting their pajamas on and falling into bed dead on their feet. I really don’t want to take a shower, but I need one. After the last few days, my muscles are screaming in pain and the hot water should help ease them enough for me to get some sleep. Valor is the last to get in the shower as I climb in bed with my sisters and fall asleep as quickly as they did. It’s been a long few days and I need rest more than anything else right now.

Chapter Nine

Valor

THE LAST TWO weeks have been the longest weeks of my life. Savannah is driving me insane and I don’t know what the fuck to do about it. I try to show her every single day that I want to be with her and I’m not lying when I told her everything in Benton Falls before we left to come to Pine View. The night we arrived, she couldn’t avoid me since all five of us were in my room at the clubhouse. Now, Savannah has gotten really good at avoiding me all day long until it’s time for dinner. When we all lived together in Benton Falls, we had dinner together every single night. Savannah wanted the girls to have that because it’s not something any of them had growing up. So, dinner was the one meal of the day where we’d all sit together and share what happened during our day and what we needed to do that night or week. Other than dinner, Savannah doesn’t spend two seconds with me if she doesn’t have to and she makes sure she doesn’t need to. I can’t fucking stand it.

The girls, including Savannah, love the house. We were able to move everything into the house the next day before church and they explored every room when I left. Savannah chose one of the guest rooms to move her things into and I’m trying so hard to respect her wishes, but it’s fucking hard knowing she’s in the same house as me and that I can’t touch her. I want her in my bed, my arms, and wrapped around me like she used to when she slept at my side. Most of the time I’d wake up to Savannah laying on top of me and my arms holding her tight to my body. Those were the best mornings if you ask me. Anyway, I’ve taken her around town to make sure the girls got enrolled in school and Ava was able to try out for the cheerleading squad. She made it and came home full of excitement while talking a mile a minute about the friends she was already making at her new school.

Savannah got approved to do the books for the club. No one wants to do them and I admitted to being tired of having to spend hours after putting in a full day of work going through the ledgers and inputting the information into the computer. I’ve never liked sitting behind a desk and so the club approving Savannah taking over the books makes me happier than I thought it would. Vault gave her an office in the clubhouse so she can keep everything there and not have to take it back and forth from the clubhouse to our house. He doesn’t want to risk anything getting lost on accident and neither does Savannah.

The last few days she’s been working on getting her office set up and waiting for Buzz to get her the computer he’s working on for her. He’ll make sure the connection is secure so no one can hack it without him knowing and that it’s got the programs she gave him a list of so she can make everything easier and we’ll have all the information on each business with a click of the mouse. Savannah has cleaned the entire room, is hanging up pictures of the girls and her she brought from home, and she even bought a few things from one of the stores in the city. What I like the most is the new chair she got and the rug she put down. It’s thick as fuck and onyx. Savannah was so happy when she saw the rug and I watched as excitement filled her that day in the store. I honestly didn’t understand it until we got back and she unrolled it. In the middle of the rug is a skull that’s made up of smoke. With how dark the carpet is, the skull appears to be fading into nothing before getting really detailed depending on where you’re standing in the room looking at it. I love the rug and want one for the house now.

This morning, Savannah never came back to the house after taking the girls to school and dropping them off. I know she didn’t eat breakfast, so I made her coffee and a full meal while she was gone. After calling Vault and learning she’s at the clubhouse already, I pack everything up and make my way there. It’s not a long walk to get from the houses to the clubhouse and with how frustrated I am right now, a walk will do me some good. I don’t want to yell at my girl and that’s what will happen if I don’t try to slow myself down and think about this shit from her point of view.

Savannah and the girls have had their lives completely twisted with moving here so suddenly and I’m trying to give her the space she needs to adjust to all the changes. That time is about up as I realize this is how she’s going to keep me at arm’s length so I can’t get close to her or prove that I mean what I’ve said to her. Savannah has another thing coming if she thinks I’m gonna back off from this. The girls and her are too important and I will do whatever it takes to make her see how serious I am.

I don’t knock on Savannah’s door, just push it open and find her with music blaring as she cleans the office again while Buzz finishes setting up the computer on the desk someone’s moved against the wall with the window. He nods at me in greeting before I make my way over to Savannah after setting her plate and coffee down on the desk. Buzz sees it and won’t knock it over to ruin everything. Walking up behind Savannah, I wrap my arms around her stomach and pull her body back into mine, nuzzling her neck with my face as she trembles in my arms.

“What are you doing here, Valor?” she asks me, her voice shaking slightly as she places a hand on my arm and melts back into me even further.

“You didn’t come back home after droppin’ the girls off and I made you breakfast and coffee. Thought I’d bring it to you here. You almost done, Buzz?” I ask as he lifts his head with a smirk on his face when I look over my shoulder at him.

“Just finished. Savannah, if you got any questions, you know where my office is. All the programs you requested are on the computer and I know I don’t have to go over them with you. Slim and Fox made sure to let me know you’re really good at what you’ve been doin’ for them and don’t need the extra help. I’ll leave you two alone,” Buzz answers, grabbing his stuff and leaving us alone in the office.

I lead Savannah to the desk and help her sit down on my lap once I’ve taken a seat in her new chair. For a second she sits with her body so fucking tense and I know she’s not sure what to do. Especially when she moves just right and feels my hard cock pressing up against her ass. Savannah lets out a moan so low I wouldn’t have heard it if she weren’t sitting in my lap.

“What is this, Valor? You’ve been trying to do everything you can think of to make everything easier on me and that’s not your responsibility. I appreciate you letting the girls and me live in your house, but I can’t take things to the level they were in Benton Falls. I deserve to be more than a notch on a bed post. I’m ready for a relationship and I won’t settle for anything less than a man who wants me for me and isn’t entertaining other women,” she says, hurt filling her voice at the thought of me being with another woman.

“I’m not gonna say that I haven’t been with a woman since movin’ here, Savannah. I’ve been with one woman and it was over before it really began. No, I wasn’t tryin’ to date her or anythin’ like that. I met her in a bar and fucked her in the bathroom. My dick wouldn’t even stay hard unless I was thinkin’ of you. Since then, I know there’s no point in tryin’ to be with anyone who’s not you. Have I fucked shit up between the two of us? Yeah, I have. I’ve been showin’ you every day that’s not who I am and that I want you and only you. Is it gonna take me fuckin’ you to prove that you’re the one I want?” I question her, turning her to face me and letting her eyes hold mine as she tries to figure out how sincere I’m being.

“No matter how much I tell myself that I don’t want you, I really do Valor. That’s never been the problem. The problem is that I do love you and have for the longest time. I want it all with you and I don’t know that you can give me everything in you. I want dates with just the two of us out away from the compound. Everyone knowing that I’m your girl and you’re my man. I want the girls to see how a real man treats his woman so they don’t settle for less than they deserve because we weren’t shown that before our mother sold us off for drugs. Can you give me that, Valor? Are you telling me right now that you can give me that shit and not make me feel as if I’m your second choice in this relationship?” she questions me with tears in her eyes that fucking gut me.

“I’ll give you all of that and more, Love. I want the girls to see you treated like the queen you are because you don’t deserve anythin’ less than that. You wanna go on dates, I’ll take you out once a week. If that’s not enough, we’ll go on dates whenever you want. Ava can watch the younger girls and we can make sure guys are at the house to make sure no one gets close to them. We’ll take things somewhat slow, but it’s gonna be hard as fuck because I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else,” I tell her, wrapping my arms around her even tighter than before as I let her see my truth. “You gotta stop avoidin’ me though, Love. If we’re doin’ this, and we are, then we have to talk and actually put in the fuckin’ effort to make this work. Are you unsure about shit because of what you found back in Benton Falls? I’m sure you are. I will tell you now that those letters are no longer in my possession. I burned them just after movin’ here and I don’t want you to think about them again.”

“It’s kind of hard not to think of them, Valor. I saw them and know that you thought you were in love with Kasey. Someone I spent time around and got to know. We’re friends and I can’t just forget that you wanted her and spent time with her when they moved here,” she says, trying to get off my lap as I move her plate closer and motion for her to eat while keeping her in my arms.

“I know, Love. Kasey wasn’t the woman I want. Yeah, I liked certain things about her and that’s why I thought I was in love with her. However, you have everythin’ and more that I want in a woman and it took me spendin’ that time with her to realize there’s no fuckin’ comparison. You’re worth more than a million Kaseys and that’s not a lie. She’s meant for Anthony and I’m meant to be with you. You’ve given me more than any woman ever has and never once asked for anythin’ in return. Savannah, you’re a woman who will stand at my side and give me the support and strength I need when I can’t stand on my own two feet. You’ve done it in the past and were there for me more than anyone else when we lost Dad. If it weren’t for you and the girls, I would’ve been even worse than Vault was. You kept me grounded and reminded me without sayin’ a word that I’m stronger than I know and can get through the darkest days as long as I have you with me.”

“Valor, I don’t know what to say to that,” she says, a tear rolling down her face that I swipe away with my thumb.

“There’s nothin’ that needs to be said. You told me actions speak louder than words and I’m gonna show you that my actions are true and I mean what I say. For now, you can have your separate room in the house, but we’ll be spendin’ plenty of time together. Before too long, you’ll be back in my bed and there won’t be a night we’re apart for any reason,” I state, turning her head so she’s facing me as I lower my face and press my lips against hers.

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