Page 2 of Patched

As Stryker steps forward and faces his son, Killer gives Carson his flash and a man hug. I pay attention to Kaden as he stands tall in front of his dad.

“Son, today you become one of the newest members of the Phantom Bastards. You’ve proven your strength, loyalty, and love of the club over the years and I have a feelin’ you’ll accomplish everythin’ that you want. You don’t let anythin’ stand in your way of gettin’ exactly what you want,” Stryker says as tears fill his eyes and he tries not to let them spill over.

I watch on as Stryker slides the new cut on his son’s shoulders. He doesn’t let him turn around for a few seconds and just stares at our colors on Kaden’s back. This is a moment he needs and no one is gonna rush him as he looks at this newest development in his son’s life. Finally, he releases Kaden’s shoulder and clears his throat a few times.

“Kaden, you’ve always been able to get in and out of places undetected. You’ve scared your mom countless times over the years because she doesn’t hear you walk up behind her. While it’s funny as fuck, sorry baby, you’ve learned the art of blendin’ into the background and only lettin’ others see you when you want them to. We’ve decided your road name is Ghost,” Stryker says as we all once again laugh because Kaden has gotten all of us over the years as he sneaks around even when he’s not trying to be quiet. None of us know how the fuck he manages to be so completely silent.

Boy Scout steps up and watches as Colton stands in front of him. Colton slides his cut off and Boy Scout doesn’t hesitate to put his new one on. We all watch as Boy Scout and Wood hug their son and whisper a few words to him.

“Colton, obviously you’re one of the newest members of the Phantom Bastards. I fucked this up,” Boy Scout says, laughing at himself. “Now, we’ve decided your road name is gonna be Geek. Since you were a young boy, you’ve geeked out over anythin’ that excites you and tend to like the more unpopular things like comic books and things that most bikers wouldn’t ever admit to bein’ a fan of. Yes, I know some that I won’t say aloud here and embarrass you. I love you son, and don’t ever stop embracin’ everythin’ you love in the world around you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks as long as you’re happy and find that slice of heaven where you’re not locked in the bad parts of life.”

Wood goes next with Wade standing in front of him.

“Wade, you’re one of the newest members of the Phantom Bastards,” he says, keeping things simple and easy as Wade slides his Prospect cut off.

Wood puts the full patch cut on his son's back and both men hug their son like they did with Colton. When the three finally break apart, Wood nods at Killer.

“Son, you’ve always believed in things that didn’t exactly make sense and you’ll fight with everythin’ you have for somethin’ you’re passionate about. You see things no one else sees in the world around you and point out the finer details only you can catch. Your road name is Raptor,” Wood states as Killer hands over his flash and pulls him into a man hug.

Fox stands at the end of the line and stares at Kingston. We all wait and watch to see what’s about to happen.

“Kingston, my son, you are one of the newest members of the Phantom Bastards,” Fox says as we all watch his son remove his Prospect cut and hold it up in front of his face for a minute.

Instead of turning around after he hands it over to Valor, Kingston looks down the line of us and then over his shoulder at everyone in the common room who’s a part of his family. Killer is standing off to the side of him and a confused expression fills his face as we all look on and wait for what he’s about to do.

“I’m sorry. I can’t accept becomin’ a full member of the club I love more than anythin’ in this world. Wearin’ that Prospect cut has meant the world to me and I would love to be a member with my best friend and everyone else I count as family. Unfortunately, I will no longer be a member of the club and will have to find a different path in life from the one I’ve dreamed of for my entire life,” Kingston says, hanging his head as everyone in the clubhouse gasps in shock. None of us expected him to say this.

“My office. Now,” I growl out, looking from Kingston to Fox Killer, and finally Kim.

Leaving the common room, my heart hurts because I have a feeling I know what the hell is going on right now. Kingston is going to explain it to us in his own words though. There’s no way in hell I’m about to let him make this decision when I know for a fact the only thing holding him back is himself. We all enter my office and Kingston stands behind the chair his mom takes a seat in. Kim doesn’t even face me as she keeps her full attention on her baby boy along with Fox and Killer. I’m not about to start this conversation when Kingston or Fox have to be the ones to do so.

Chapter Two

Fox

LISTENING TO KINGSTON turn down becoming a full patch member of the club breaks something deep in my soul. For the first time in my life, I’m rendered speechless and I have no clue where the fuck his head is. My only son has been different since he crashed racing his other bike and none of us can reach him. I don’t even think Carson knows what’s going on with Kingston right now. Taking a seat next to Kim, I watch as silent tears roll down her face and she looks back at our boy. Killer, his uncle, is watching him with that laser focus he has. It’s as if he’s trying to reach into Kingston’s soul to truly understand what’s going on with him.

“Son, I need you to explain this shit to me. To all of us. You’ve done nothin’ but talk about becomin’ a member of the club since you were little and understood what it meant to be part of the Phantom Bastards. Carson and you practically had your entire lives mapped out by the time you were eight and it all revolved around bein’ in the club and where you wanted to take it when we all stepped down. Now, you’re willin’ to give it all up? I don’t understand,” I tell my son, my voice breaking because I do have a good idea what he’s thinking and I’m pretty sure Killer and I are the only ones who know what my son does in the dead of night when he thinks everyone else is sleeping.

“I haven’t been on a bike since my accident. I still walk with a limp most days and I know the therapist is workin’ with me on that. It won’t always be this way supposedly. What I do know is that I’m not even sure if I can ride a bike again,” Kingston says, his voice breaking with each word he speaks.

“You haven’t tried to get on a bike again since your crash,” Killer says, his voice the softest I’ve ever heard it outside of talking to Gwen. “What’s stoppin’ you from gettin’ on your bike again, Kingston? And don’t bullshit me because the doctors have all cleared you and said there’s no reason to believe you’d never ride again. The physical therapists you’ve been workin’ with have also said the same thing. You’re gonna walk without the limp again once you strengthen your knee and you’ll be able to ride as soon as you get on your bike again.”

None of us say anything as Kingston looks at his feet instead of any of us. Kim reaches out and grabs our son’s hand and he doesn’t pull away from his mom. Kingston will never pull away from her for any reason. That’s not how he was raised. Plus, she’d whoop his ass if he even thought of pushing her away for any reason.

“Kingston, you’re my son and I’ll always support you no matter what you choose to do. However, I believe deep in my heart that this is the wrong decision. You’re a fuckin’ fighter and have overcome everythin’ thrown in your way since the accident. If you’ve been strugglin’ with this shit, why haven’t you come to us? You know you can always sit down and talk to us no matter what’s goin’ on in your life and we’ll always be there for you,” Kim says, tears falling in her lap as she tries to figure out why Kingston didn’t come to us about this.

“Everyone in this club has done so much for me when I couldn’t get out of bed on my own. You’ve all given up things you shouldn’t have had to because of an accident I was in. I’ve been a burden to everyone in this club for months and it’s time for me to take my life back. Until I know I can get back on a bike, there’s no reason for me to accept a patch I might not be able to wear,” Kingston says, looking at us all with every emotion he’s feeling showing in his eyes. “Mentally, I can’t fuckin’ force myself to get on the bike and ride. If it’s not somethin’ I can get over, then I’ll never do the one thing I love to again. I’ll have to give up ridin’ and therefore, I can no longer be a member of the club.”

My heart absolutely shatters in my chest and the sharpest pain I’ve ever felt in my life consumes me until I have to gasp for breath. If Kim weren’t holding onto my hand and Killer didn’t have a hand on my shoulder, I’d fall to my knees with how much pain I’m in right now. To hear Kingston say that he doesn’t want to be a burden to us any longer isn’t something that I can tolerate hearing. None of my children have ever been a burden to me and they never will be. Did we have to do everything for Kingston for months? Yeah, we did. He couldn’t get out of bed on his own and even go to the bathroom alone. Do I regret a single second of that time? No, I fucking don’t! Every second and ounce of pain we all felt meant that Kingston was alive and here with us. I will always do whatever my kids need and I don’t give a fuck how old they are.

“Kingston!” Kim gasps, her voice breaking as she loses what little control she had over her emotions. My wife breaks down in front of all of us and it takes everything in me to go to her and pull her into my arms because I’m not faring much better than she is.

“While your parents take this moment to work through what you’ve just said, I’m gonna tell you somethin’, Kingston,” Slim says as Kim and I just hold one another and prepare to make our boy see that he’s not a burden and will always be a member of this club in one way or another. That we love him enough to support any decision he makes. “You’re not gonna give up bein’ in this fuckin’ club ever. You grew up in this club and know that we’re a family before everythin’ else. If it were anyone else that had crashed and gone through everythin’ you did over the last several months, you would’ve been there for them, yeah?”

“Of course. There’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do for any of you,” Kingston states emphatically as he looks around the room at all of us. “You’re all my family and there’s no reason for me to not help a single one of you. Even if it means givin’ up hours of my time workin’ or whatever else in order to be there just to sit in silence with someone.”

“Then you know you’ve never once been a burden to your mom, myself, Uncle Killer, Slim, or anyone here in this club,” I finally state, anger and hurt filling my voice. “Everythin’ we did to help you is because we love you and we wanted to be at your side on your darkest days. We want you to confide in us and ensure that you’re not alone no matter what’s goin’ on in your head. Kingston, we love you and I know you can overcome this shit. Look at everythin’ you’ve already overcome since that day. You’re not just a fighter like your mom said, you’re a fuckin’ warrior!”

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