Page 39 of Flame and Starlight

“Because,” I said, grabbing onto his arm and leading us out of the alleyway, “I didn’t want you to be afraid of what I could do with it. You’d keep your distance, and I need you to trust me.” He moved his arm and linked our hands together, our fingers interwoven. We stopped outside the door, letting others pass us and go inside.

“Do you feel anything in me that says I can stay away from you?”

I met his eyes and sifted through his emotions like folders in a filing cabinet. His usual sadness and anguish was still there, but the wantedness I felt just a few minutes ago was so strong it plowed over everything else.

“No.” I took a breath. “I don’t think so, at least. You’ve got a lot going on in there.”

He smiled, and with his free hand, he pushed my hair over my shoulder. His lips touched my shoulder where the bite mark had now fully healed.

“Good. Let’s go eat, then.” He led me inside without letting go of my hand, trusting me with every single fleeting emotion that flowed through him.

As we found our seats, I could tell that Asher holding my hand made a much bigger statement than me being on his arm. This looked way more intimate, and it did not go unnoticed. Asher pulled my chair out for me as we took our places at the same table as the night before. Leona was already there, her eyes locked on Asher’s impressive frame as he settled in next to her. I couldn’t blame her. He was perfect. But the jealousy it caused me to feel was overwhelming.

“Try not to break it this time,” he said loud enough for others to hear as I poured his wine.

“Try not to piss me off this time.” He laughed and filled both of our plates with food.

I downed my entire glass of wine and then poured myself another and began nursing that one. When Leona grabbed his attention away from me, the darkness that hid itself just under the surface came rushing up again. My hands shook at the raw power it brought along with it, but I took deep breaths and tried to focus on eating. I sat on my left hand, keeping it safely tucked away while my right pushed food into my mouth at an alarming rate. I was just trying to keep myself from falling apart and breaking the entire table.

When Leona finally had to take a breath, Asher turned his attention towards me and grabbed my hand out from under my thigh. It tingled with the loss of blood. When I turned towards him, mouth still full with food, he poked my cheek playfully with his other hand and then began eating. He lightly massaged my hand until it didn’t look like it was going to fall off my arm anymore.

The darkness ebbed but didn’t disappear, and I wondered if he could feel it or sense it. I wondered if he knew why it made itself known when I wasn’t the one receiving his attention. I had to remind myself that just because I knew he wanted me didn’t mean I had any sort of claim to his affections or his attention. That was a role I was very much used to. Tom had made me very well acquainted with fleeting touches and smiles just for me. And also the distance that came after it. I was used to taking what I could get and being happy with it.

“That’s a lovely little tiara she has there,” Leona said, begging for Asher’s attention to be returned to her. I downed the rest of my glass of wine before leaning in front of Asher to get a good look at Blondie.

“Who’s she? The cat’s mother?” Asher snorted. “My name is Lyssa. And thank you for the compliment.” I sat back in my chair. “Asher surprised me with it.” He smirked and gave my hand a small squeeze as he filled my glass again.

I threw that one back as well, and the room tilted a bit. I could feel a few people at the table gawking at me, but it was hard to care when the alternative was to listen to the darkness and slam her head into the table until it cracked. Her head or the table, it didn’t really matter.

Everyone finished their meals while making small talk and avoiding eye contact with me. Once people began to finish and filter out, I leaned over to Asher and rested my chin on his shoulder.

“I’m going to go get some fresh air.”

“Someone is feeling tipsy,” he said, pushing strands of hair out of my face. “I don’t like the idea of you being out of sight,” he whispered for only me to hear. “I’ll go with you.”

“I’ll be right outside the door. I just need a minute to sober up.”

He reluctantly nodded and let go of my hand as I stood and made my way on wobbly legs to the door. I couldn’t feel how cold it actually was thanks to the alcohol coursing its way through my veins. I turned to my right and saw Zemira leaning against the wall, smiling in my direction.

“High Lady,” I said and stumbled into a shallow curtsey. She laughed softly and patted the wall next to her. I leaned my back up against it and took a deep breath.

“Hello there, Alyssandra,” she said in a low voice. It took me a couple of heartbeats before I jerked my head towards her. She had called me by my real name. She knew who I was. Lead filled my stomach, and I knew she could see fear in my eyes.

Kill her. Kill her. Kill her.

I pushed back at the sliver of darkness creeping into my thoughts.

Zemira laughed.

“I mean you no harm, and I’m not going to tell anyone,” she said as she lifted her eyes to the night sky. I felt like I could breathe again. “How stupid does Asher think I am?” Her smile grew wide then. “Rumors were circulating between the High Fae about a little human girl Theron was searching for. And then we hear she gets swept out from under his nose, supposedly by the High Lord of the Night Court himself. When Asher showed up here, a pretty woman on his arm…” She trailed off. “I love Asher like a brother, but he can be such an idiot sometimes.” She sighed and looked back at me. “It seems you’re not human any longer, though.”

I met her eyes and sighed. “That’s a long story.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I have nothing but time.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I stared at her for a moment, weighing my options. I was torn between keeping the past few weeks a secret and letting it all tumble out of me like a high schooler with hot gossip. I hadn’t had a friend to confide in in so long that my brain was begging for me to explain everything. But I had no idea if she was actually a friend.

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