Page 68 of When Love Is Lost and Found

I don't know exactly what's happening, but I suddenly feel sad, and I start crying.

"What's wrong?!" Loren asks.

"I don't know," I say. "I'm sorry. My grandma used to throw her arm around me like you just did. I miss her."

All of a sudden, I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. I think about Dad, Grandma, Mom, Jimmy, Betty, and the fact that I haven't had a motherly hug in years. I also think about Jon and how much his distancing from me hurts.

"Come here, Honey," Loren says, throwing her arms around me, sensing that I'm about to have a meltdown, and there's nothing either of us can do to stop it.

"I think I'm just a little overwhelmed by everything."

"If you need to have a good cry, go ahead. I'll get the tissue box."

That makes me laugh through my tears.

For the next two hours, she sits beside me like Grandma used to do and lets me talk.

"Dad was an only child, so I have no one on his side."

"What about your mom?"

"She has family, but I never met them. She had a falling out with her parents before I was born. I think they live in Washington, but I'm not sure.

"Your parents never talked about them?"

"I know they didn't like Dad, and when Mom got pregnant and they decided to marry, her parents disowned her. There might be an uncle, maybe some cousins, but I'm not sure.”

"You're not curious?"

"It's too late to try and make connections with people who never wanted me. I'm as much a stranger to them as they are to me. What would be the point?"

She nods and grows quiet. I look at my engagement ring and twist it around my finger.

"Are you ready to talk about Jon?"

"Why? What did he tell you?"

"He hasn't told me anything, but he hasn't been back to visit you in two days."

"He told me he was jealous because I accepted Patrick's invitation to go to the farmers’ market on Saturday."

"How do you feel about Jon, Honey? Do you like him?"

"I do."

Saying it out loud opens the floodgates again, and I start to cry.

"He's so mad at me. He hasn't even come over to see Noah. Poor little kid. It's not his fault."

"I think he did it more to give you your space than he did to avoid you."

"I don't think so. He's hurt because I told him he was being unreasonable and that if he was going to have an issue with my having a male friend, we should keep things professional."

"Why did you agree to go out with Patrick?"

"He's sweet."

"But he's not Jon."

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