Page 52 of When Love Is Lost and Found

"Because I don't want any secrets between us."

"I'm your parents' employee, Jon. That's it. You don't owe me anything."

"I owe you the truth."

"What are you saying?"

"When you're ready to hear about that day, I'll be ready to tell you exactly what happened."

"Keeping my happy memories of Jimmy intact and untarnished by the tragedy of that day is more important to me than anything. Including your need to unburden yourself."

Her words break my heart in two. There's nothing left to say, so I press my lips together and nod.

"I appreciate your honesty," I say.

"I appreciate your understanding."

We keep walking for a while, neither of us saying anything. I'm hurt, but I understand. Jimmy was the love of her life, while I'm almost a stranger.

We make small talk, mostly about Noah, while we visit Belvedere Castle, Alice in Wonderland, and Bethesda Terrace and Fountain.

"Are you hungry?" I ask, spotting a hot dog stand. "Do you like hot dogs?"

"I do," she says, smiling.

We take our hot dogs and drinks and find a bench close to the pond.

"With Noah starting kindergarten next year, I can't imagine your parents still needing a nanny."

"That's a whole year away," I say.

"I have to think ahead," she says. "I'm a planner."

“Will you move back to California?"

"No," she says, shaking her head. "I'm staying here. I'm going to enroll in school and get a teaching degree."

"Good," I say.

"Spending time with Noah has made me realize how much I enjoy teaching. Watching him learn gives me a sense of accomplishment. I want to teach."

"You're going to be a great teacher. You already are."

"Thanks," she says before taking the last bite of her hot dog.

"Do you want to walk to the Empire State Building?"

"Yeah," she says. "Let's go."

Chapter 11

Sharon

We step out of the elevator on the 86th floor of the Empire State Building, and when I glance at Jon, I notice that his face has lost all its color.

"I'll be fine," he says, glancing at me. "I just need to breathe in some fresh air."

I realize the elevator ride made him ill. He said he deals with nightmares, panic attacks, and claustrophobia. I've now witnessed all three. I swallow the lump forming in my throat and try to act as if nothing's wrong.

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