Page 50 of When Love Is Lost and Found

"I thought so, too," I say. "But that's not why I'm here."

"What is it?" Mom asks, "Jonathan?"

"Sharon is Jimmy's fiancée," I say. "Was Jimmy's fiancée."

Dad stares at me with a blank look on his face, but Mom knows exactly who I'm talking about.

"James Bowman?" Mom asks.

"Yes," I say. "Now, before you ask how the heck Jimmy's fiancée wound up working for you, let me explain."

"I can't wait to hear this," Dad says.

Mom doesn't say anything, but I can tell her wheels are turning, trying to connect all the dots.

"Two weeks before Jimmy died, he told me his girlfriend was looking for a job. I told him you were looking for a nanny, and I thought Sharon could apply for the job and mention my name."

"She never did," Mom says.

"You two were eager to find someone for Noah, and when she said she was willing to move, you hired her on the spot. My referral became moot at that point."

"When did you know?" she asks.

"Not until I met her. The nanny's name was Shay. I had no reason to think Shay and Sharon were the same person."

"You should've told us as soon as you found out," Dad says.

"I didn't want things to get weird. You all like her. She's amazing with Noah. She's selfless and unassuming. Did you know that Jimmy left her almost half a million dollars in life insurance?"

They look surprised, and both shake their heads.

"She could be off doing what most eighteen-year-olds only dream of, but instead, she's here taking care of a four-year-old. The bottom line is we need her more than she needs us."

"So what's the problem?" Dad asks, "What am I missing?"

"She doesn't know the details of the accident," I say, feeling so incredibly guilty.

"If she knew," Mom says, "I doubt she would've left California."

"It was a big story," Dad says. "It was plastered all over the news."

"Well," I begin, "she was able to avoid it all. She knows very little."

"Why haven't you told her?" he asks.

"I've tried more than once, but she doesn't want to hear it. She insists that knowing will only hurt her, and it won't bring him back."

"She's right," Mom says. "If she doesn't want to know, why insist on telling her?"

"Mom, not saying it doesn't change the fact that I was partially responsible for his death. She's going to hate me when she finds out."

"It was an accident," Mom says. "We can cross that bridge when we come to it."

"It's not that easy," I say.

"Why not?" Dad asks.

"What is it?" Mom asks.

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