Page 14 of When Love Is Lost and Found

"Noah and I will be fine here," I say. "We have a lot to explore."

"Great, then that's settled," says Mr. Linder. "I have to go. I'll see you both tonight. Oh, and Shay, Elizabeth and I would like it if you start addressing us by our first names."

"But I've always called you Mr. and Mrs. Linder."

"Well, now that we're all living under the same roof, it makes sense to drop the formalities."

"Okay, Mr. Linder. I'm sorry, David. I'll have to practice."

When Mr. Linder walks out the door, Jon turns to me and asks, "Do you want to visit Loren later? We can take Noah with us."

"As long as it's okay with your mom," I say.

"Did you still want to talk about Jimmy?" he asks. "I understand your wanting to know what happened. If it'll help you in any way, we can talk about it."

My heart starts thumping in my chest.

"Part of me wants to know every detail of what happened," I say. "The other part thinks my heart won't be able to handle it."

"The story was on all the news stations and newspapers," he says.

"I know, but I avoided everything concerning what happened," I say. "I'm a coward."

"So am I," he says.

"What do you mean?"

"Sharon, I went to Jimmy's funeral to pay my respects. I was there but didn't have the courage to approach you."

"You were there," I say, looking into his eyes. "I wish you had said something. It might be hard for you to understand, but I think I was more prepared to hear all the details about the accident back then than now. I didn't want to hear it on the news or read it in the papers, but hearing it from someone who was there might have made it easier. I honestly don't know."

"Sharon, there's something you should know."

"Jon, wait. I don't think I want to know. Please."

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking both surprised and relieved.

"My heart is beating so fast right now," I say. "Once you tell me, there's no going back. Knowing won't change anything, but it might change me. I've made it this far without knowing. No, don't tell me."

"But I can tell you what I planned to tell you that day at the cemetery."

"What?" I ask as he reaches over and puts his hand over mine.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," he says. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you," I say.

I notice his eyes glistening with tears before he quickly releases my hand and stands up.

"Do you prefer blueberries or chocolate chips in your pancakes?"

"Chocolate chips," I say as he walks over to the stove. He's not facing me, but I can tell he just wiped away some tears.

Chapter 4

Jon

Part of me wants to put all the cards on the table and tell her everything I remember, but the other part doesn't want to say a word. Will she believe me? Will she forgive me, or will she hate me?

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