Page 99 of When Love Is Lost and Found

"Then why are you being so cold with me?"

"I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to act. It was much easier when you were three thousand miles away."

"But I'm here now, and I don't want to leave."

"That's why I'm here."

For a split second, I think he's going to tell me we're okay, but when he doesn't look at me, I realize things are far from okay between us.

"What do you mean?" I ask, fearing his answer.

"I've decided to join my parents in Japan."

"You're leaving because of me?" My voice is shaking with disbelief. Tears threaten to spill out again, but I refuse to cry.

"It would be best for both of us if I weren't here while you work out the house situation."

"Okay," I nod, feeling my defenses rise like steel walls around my heart. "But before you go, I want to apologize for how things ended between us. I'm sorry for never giving you the chance to tell me what happened with Jimmy. I was so focused on myself that I couldn't get past my own pain. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry, too," he says. "Like you said, I should've tried harder."

A few seconds later, we both realize there's nothing more to say, so I get up and thank him for stopping by.

"You're welcome," he says. "Have a good night."

"You too."

***

After I finish packing my suitcase, I call Jon to let him know he doesn't have to leave the country on my account, but he's not home.

I write him a note and head to the house to tape it to the back door. Walking through the garden brings back memories of those early mornings when Jon would join me, strolling together as I picked flowers for the dining room table. We’d sit on a bench, lost in conversation, or he’d find me with dirt up to my elbows, planting something new. We were falling in love without even realizing it.

"Well, hello!" Robert's cheerful greeting makes me smile despite my sadness.

"Hi, how are you?" I ask.

"I'm good," he says. "Olivia mentioned you were in town."

"Yeah, but I'm actually getting ready to leave."

"So soon?"

"Yeah," I smile. We spend the next ten minutes catching up before I say, "I called Jon this morning, but there was no answer."

"He's renting out his house in Cold Spring while he stays here," he says. "I think he said he was replacing the carpet today."

"Oh, okay. Is Olivia here?"

"No, not here today. Is there something I can do?"

"Can you make sure Jon gets this?" I ask, handing him the note.

"Of course."

"Thank you," I say. "I have to go, but it was good seeing you."

"Yeah, you too," he says, "have a good trip."

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