Page 95 of When Love Is Lost and Found

"The only reason you're here is because you had to move back to New York in order to collect on your inheritance. If Loren hadn't left you this house, I would've never heard from you again. Tell me I'm wrong."

Her silence speaks volumes and fills me with frustration.

"I've been waiting four years to tell you what happened that day, four years living with the guilt and regret associated with it— that ends today."

"I'm sorry," she says, her green eyes wide and filled with surprise.

"I waited day after day after day. I waited months and then years for you to reach out. For you to be ready to hear me out, but that day never came."

"I'm here now," her words sound hollow after all this time, but I don't care. I've been waiting four years to tell her what I remember, and I'm not leaving this house until I do.

"I have no memory of the days before the accident, so I don't know how Jimmy's knife ended up in my pack. I don't even know if I'm the one who took it. What I do remember is that I tried to save him. I had a hold of his life jacket," I curl my hand into a fist, recalling how I tried to hang on with every ounce of strength. "I was pulling him out when a wave slammed into me, and that's when I dislocated my shoulder and couldn't hold on. The force of the wave knocked me off my feet, and I fell, plunging into the ocean. I was sandwiched between two thirty-ton vehicles. It felt like I was getting hit by a semi-truck over and over again. I fractured my ribs and broke my collarbone, and when I hit my head, I lost consciousness. By the time they pulled me out, I had no pulse, and they had to perform CPR to bring me back. I almost drowned, but I would've gladly given my life to save his. I've had to relive that nightmare in my dreams for all these years. I wanted to tell you. I wanted to explain and make you understand. I wanted you to believe me, but you didn't care enough to hear me out. I don't know what you're expecting by showing up here, in my home, like nothing ever happened. Like you didn't judge me and walk out on me, putting all the blame and weight of that day solely on my shoulders. And for the record, I tried to tell you, and the only reason why I didn't was because you refused to listen. And you had the gall to blame me for that, too."

"You're right," her voice is a low whisper.

"Then why did you let me live with the burden of guilt, thinking you never forgave me?"

"I'm sorry," she says on the verge of tears.

I stand and push my chair in with such force that it scrapes the floor and makes a loud thump on the edge of the table, causing it to shift and Sharon to jump in her seat.

"Goodbye, Sharon," I say, walking out the door.

The walk back to the house is not long enough for me to calm down. I never expected to lose my cool the way I did. Sharon's look of shock and the tears welling up in her eyes were enough to shame me to my core. I wanted to comfort her and apologize, but my pride won. Now I feel like an idiot.

The house doesn't feel the same without my parents and Noah here. I decide to go for a long run and go up to my bedroom, where I empty my pockets and find Loren's letter. I open the envelope and pull out the single sheet of paper.

Chapter 19

Sharon

I stare at the food on the table and replay Jon's account of what happened the day Jimmy died until my head is splitting and my heart is aching.

After licking my wounds, I call Betty to check up on her.

"Hi, Betty. How are you feeling?"

"Sharon, I'm due in six weeks. You better be here for the birth of your first godchild."

"I'll be there," I assure her. Then, I read her Loren's letter. "Betty, her will never said anything about me having to stay here for two years. Do you know what that means?"

"Yeah, it means you can come home."

"Not so fast," I say. "Loren made me return to Garrison for Jon. I'm not leaving without making things right with him."

"He was never honest with you."

"He tried multiple times. Look, we've been over this. You're my best friend, so of course you're going to side with me no matter what."

"Not if I thought you were wrong."

"Anthony has never met Jon, but he has always sided with him because he can be objective."

"I love my husband, but he's clueless. He's wrong."

"I think we're wrong."

"That's only because you have the hots for Jon. You can't look past your attraction to him."

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