Page 91 of When Love Is Lost and Found

The letter begins with "Dear Sharon."

Chapter 18

Jon

"You're quiet," Susan says, sitting across from me at one of her favorite restaurants. "You haven't touched your sandwich."

My mind is still reeling after our encounter with Sharon.

"We need to talk," I finally say, being as gentle as possible.

"You don't have to say anything," she says, setting down her fork. "You haven't been the same since the funeral, and now I know why."

"I'm sorry," I begin, but she puts her palm up and stops me mid-sentence.

"I refuse to let you break up with me again, so let me do the honors."

I don't interrupt her, but I look her in the eyes and wait for the inevitable.

"I spoke to my parents last week. I'm moving back to California."

"I'm sorry," I say, feeling wholly responsible for her decision to leave.

She shakes her head before adding, "Don't be. You held out for three years, hoping Sharon would change her mind, and I waited, hoping that time and distance would work in my favor. It's time for me to accept that you can't give me what you don't have. You left your heart with her back in California, and now that she's here, she'll want the rest of you."

When a pang of guilt makes me look away, she asks, "Did I miss anything?"

"I wish things could be different," I say, wishing I could love her.

"You can't force what you don't feel," her tone is filled with such calm finality that I can't help but admire her. "We've been friends pretending to be lovers for a year. Frankly, I'm surprised we lasted this long."

I nod, not knowing what to say because she's right.

"Are you going to look for her?" Her eyes are clear, devoid of any resentment.

"No," I say, surprising both of us.

"Are you just saying that because you want to spare my feelings?"

"Hurting you is the last thing I want to do, but no. I'm just being honest. I'm not going to look for Sharon."

"Eat your sandwich," she says, picking up her fork, "and let me explain why you should."

"Your candor is what I like most about you."

"My candor is what caused our first break-up, remember? We would be married now if I had never told you about Zane."

She's right. In fact, I wonder what life would look like if I had never known about Zane and had never met Sharon.

"So, tell me why I should look for Sharon."

"Because in all the years I've known you, including the time we dated, you never looked at me the way you look at her."

***

A week later, I take Susan to the airport, where we say goodbye and promise to keep in touch. Our fathers are long-time business partners, so I know we'll see each other again.

"Remember what I told you," Susan says before hugging me. "Don't let your male pride keep you from being happy."

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