Page 83 of When Love Is Lost and Found

"No," I say, "No, no, no. This can't be happening."

"I'm sorry," Rick says, "I'm so sorry."

"He tried to tell me," I say, looking into Rick's eyes. They're filled with compassion and empathy. I lean against him and cry for a long time.

"He tried to tell me, but I didn't let him."

"None of this is your fault, Sharon. If he wanted to tell you, he would have."

Chapter 16

Jon

"What do you mean I can't see her?"

Rick is standing in the doorway, refusing to let me in.

"I think it's best if you leave."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me why I can't see Sharon. I'm supposed to meet her here so we can drop off some donations."

He steps out of the house and shuts the door.

"When can I see her?"

"I don't know," Rick says, "Why don't we go for a walk so we can talk."

I don't defend myself when Rick explains that he told Sharon everything. Everything I should have told her weeks ago.

"Do you think she'll speak to me after she's had some time to think?"

"I think you should go home, and by home, I mean New York, and let her mourn her mother's death for as long as it takes."

"She was mourning her mother's death with me. We've been living under the same roof for almost two weeks, and she was going home to New York with me. This is not about her mother."

"I had to tell her about Jimmy before she returned to New York. This is her home. I would rather have her process everything here than across the country. I'm here, her uncle and his family are here, and Betty, her best friend, is here."

"I had every intention of telling her before we left," I say.

"You had over a month to tell her, and you didn't."

"I tried to tell her several times, but she didn't want to hear it."

"She mentioned that," Rick admits.

"I love her," I say simply. "I love her."

"If you love her, you'll give her the time and the space she needs to figure out what she wants to do."

"Let her know I came by and that I'm sorry. She has my number. I'm not leaving California without seeing her."

***

When I call my parents to tell them what happened, Mom asks me to come home.

"Her mother just died, Sweetheart. She needs to grieve and then process what happened to Jimmy."

"What about Noah?" I ask, grasping at straws, looking for a reason for Sharon to return to New York.

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