Page 33 of When Love Is Lost and Found

"Sharon, I'm so sorry," he says, approaching me as soon as I step in. His handsome face looks tired and worried.

"What happened?" I ask.

"I've been dealing with nightmares, claustrophobia, and panic attacks since the accident."

"I should be the one apologizing. I've been so focused on my own loss that I didn't stop to consider what you must've gone through. I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have stormed off the way I did. I want to explain."

"You don't owe me anything, Jon."

When he takes my hands in his, I feel my heart skip a beat.

"Sharon, I—."

"It's the water, isn't it? You had a panic attack because Noah mentioned swimming."

The look in his eyes is all the confirmation I need.

"I'm sorry," I say, realizing it could happen again.

"Don't worry," he says, letting go of my hands. "It doesn't happen all the time. I don't know what triggers it or when it'll happen."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No, but just know it's not you, and I am getting better."

"Would you like to go for a walk?" I ask. "It's a nice day."

The slight breeze outside is warm, and the blue sky is filled with puffy white clouds. We walk along the property line opposite the pool, letting the short picket fence guide us to an unknown destination.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"I don't know how much I can say without talking about that day."

I nod, fully grasping what that means.

Jon stops walking and turns to face me. The sun is shining on his face, and I can see how pretty his eyes are. They're dark gray with a rich golden center; his lashes are long and full.

"I can't talk about what happened to me without talking about what happened to Jimmy."

"I understand," I say, "but I'm not ready to hear it."

He nods, and we start walking again. When we see a pond in the distance, I glance at Jon to check his reaction.

"I'm okay," he says. "I walked by it the other day and had no reaction. Like I told you, I can't control it.

"How about if we head back to the house?"

"Okay," he says. "We can have some lunch, and later, you can take Noah swimming."

Back at the house, Mrs. Linder is making chicken salad sandwiches, and Mr. Linder is stirring a big pitcher of iced tea. Noah is sitting at the table eating some baby carrots and celery sticks with peanut butter.

"Hey Noah," Jon says, "do you want to go swimming this afternoon?"

"Yes!" exclaims Noah.

After lunch, Mr. Linder volunteers to take Noah swimming if Jon and I agree to do the dishes.

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